Today’s action-packed Minka scene reminded me of a SCORE magazine “Boob Beat” story I did in 2005. There was an Italian sexologist named Piero Lorenzoni who compared fruits to a woman’s breasts and personality. Okay, his theory may have been a little bananas, but that’s what they said about Newton.
Senor Lorenzoni broke it down like this:
A women with breasts like melons may look maternal but isn’t. Said Lorenzoni, “She likes eating and wants to be spoiled and admired. But seldom likes sex.”
Women with lemon-shaped breasts: “These women are full of life and can laugh at themselves.”
Pineapples: “Whoever wins their heart will not lose it quickly.”
Grapefruits: “This woman may look erotic but in reality is bashful and homely. She spoils her partner but prefers tenderness over sex.”
Oranges: “While she is self-confident and knows her goals, she has little interest in sex. She likes conversation.”
Cherries: “Make great partners and are moderately interested in sex.”
Pears: “She can be very religious but is known to have affairs.”
In a boob science experiment, Jim compares fruit to Minka’s mega-boobs. Jim holds up an orange to Minka’s tits. Then some melons. No comparison. Only watermelons would work, and he didn’t bring any. Senor Lorenzoni probably never saw Minka’s pictures during his research. He might have abandoned his project. Minka’s beyond cataloging anyway.
Minka’s famous protruding nipples hypnotize Jim. That’s why Minka’s nickname is “Nipple #1.” I can’t think of any fruit that compares to those always-erect pointers.
Minka wants to see his banana. Strictly for research purposes. Turnabout is fair play.