Adult stores should hire more girls who look like Harmony Bliss.
The Internet has changed everything. Some things for the better, other things for the worse. What’s on my mind today is somewhere in the middle. I live literally two blocks from an adult mega-store. I can walk there in five minutes. I used to drop in once a week to look at all the new mags, products and DVDs. I’d look at our products, see what was missing and what needed stocking. I’d talk to the clerks (some good, some apathetic) and ask how our products were selling and what suggestions they might have. It’s not one of my job functions but I like to do it because I think it’s important. But I haven’t walked into the place in five weeks. I keep meaning to go but I don’t. And my inertia, my laziness, is partly because of the Internet. The Net has made people lazier and less inclined to physically get out of the house and go somewhere. Ten years ago, when I lived in Las Vegas, I’d get in my car and drive two miles to Showgirl Video once a week to see what TSG products were on sale and what everyone was releasing. Now I don’t walk five minutes to my local store once a week. This is not good because I should be supporting my local store more often.
Sabina (at left) from Pounding The Pledges worked in an adult store.
Many independent store and chain-store owners have put money into their properties (besides paying their lawyers for the never-ending court battles). The industry has changed and a lot of stores are no longer the dumpy smut parlors they used to be. They’ve gone upscale: bright, clean, nicely decorated, safer, computerized, and they have a better level of employee. There’s even an adult store trade show this September in Vegas called StorErotica. Many stores are geared to the comfort and security of the female customer, selling clothes, shoes and other feminine goods. Did you know that Voluptuous Girl and sexologist Sabina Leigh used to work in an adult store in Colorado? She once emailed me that Voluptuous was getting hard to get in her area so I contacted our management and they corrected the situation.
The adult retail business has always been difficult to operate since day one. Communities don’t want them so they ghettoize them. The police bust them for whatever. Prosecutors prosecute them. Courts punish, restrict and fine them. Civic groups give them a hard time. Yet they survive and endure against all odds. But I believe the greatest threat comes from technology. Like the VHS tape wiped out the adult movie theaters in the 1980s, the Net is threatening the neighborhood adult store as well as the adult “downtown” sections of many American cities. Why drive, walk or take public transport to a store to buy a magazine or a DVD or a sex toy when you can do it on-line anonymously without leaving your home? For me, the reason is I like physically browsing in a brick-and-mortar store, looking at all the stuff. But that inertia is even hitting me. And that’s not positive for the retailers.
Tits, Hooters, Knockers, Cans, Jugs....Whatever you call ’em, Merilyn Sakova has ’em!
We use the words tits, boobs and jugs every day (like a lawyer uses the words bill, golf and lunch). But how did those words originate? According to scholars who study the origin of words, “boobs” dates back to the late 17th-century word “boobies” or “booby,” which is baby talk for breasts and an offshoot of “bubby.” “Tits,” traced back to 1928, is from teat. But “titty” is on record from 1746 as nursery talk for teat. “Bazooms” is a fairly recent word (from the U.S. in 1955) and is a spinoff of the word bosoms.
“Jugs” goes back to 1538 from the word “jugge” and is said to be from “jug,” a word for a 16th-century maidservant (a servant who would carry a jug of water to fill a wash bowl as in, “Hey, Miss Jug, bring the water over here!”). The first use of the word “jugs” as slang for a woman’s breasts was first recorded in 1920 in Australia and is short for the slang term milk-jugs.
Knockers, a word that peaked in popularity in the 1950s, is thought to have originated in 1941. It could be British in origin and some researchers base its origin on the “knocker,” a breast-pin worn by ladies that was shaped like a door knocker.
You learn something new about tits every day at SCORELAND. And that’s just in English. There are words for breasts in every language. And I have a word for that: Boobonics.
Boobs have been in the news quite a bit these days, and the news isn’t always good. It’s enough to make you ask, “What’s wrong with these people?”
NEWS ITEM #1: Kelly Osbourne (Ozzy’s daughter) wants a boob reduction before she gets married next year. “It’s no secret that I hate my boobs,” she said. “I want a size in between a B and C-cup that you don’t need to wear a bra.”
COMMENT: I never realized that Kelly Osbourne has big tits. When I read her saying, “I hate my boobs,” I just assumed she wanted bigger ones.
NEWS ITEM #2: One of the house guests on the U.S. version of the TV show Big Brother thinks she got voted off because she has big boobs. She said, “It’s not my fault I have huge boobs.”
Why is Annina on Germany's version of the reality TV show Big Brother?
This is why Annina's on Big Brother. Her tits. I don't think they show pussy on German reality shows.
COMMENT: Actually, judging from pictures, it does seem to be her fault that she has huge boobs. But I take issue with the word “fault,” which implies that somebody did something wrong. Getting or having big boobs means never having to say you’re sorry. SCORE model Annina is on Germany’s version of Big Brother because she has huge boobs, and she never has to apologize to anyone!
Angela White's sexy titties in the city of Sydney.
NEWS ITEM #3: Katie Price, aka Jordan, the UK starlet/bimbo, wanted a role on the sequel to Sex And The City but didn’t get one because of her chest. An insider said, “She may have the big boobs, but they don’t look natural.”
COMMENT: Yeah, nice move, Sex And The City directors. Keep the four dikey looking chicks with no tits. Get rid of a babe who might slut things up the right way and show some cleavage. And if it’s really a natural vs. augmented issue, then find a girl with big, natural tits. Like…hey, Angela White!
Sometimes the world doesn’t make sense. At least I have SCORELAND for some needed perspective.
According to the British newspaper The Guardian, more money is spent in strip clubs in the U.S. than on theater, opera, ballet, jazz and classical music concerts combined. That interested me because of all the editors, I’m the numbers guy. I even poll the members of SCORELAND, mainly about questions tied to big-boobs. (What else?)
I’ve been going to strip clubs for years, so with that in mind, I recently asked two questions of SCORELANDERS. My first question was: In strip clubs, how often do you get lap dances? Eighteen-percent said always, 42% said they’d get a dance if they saw a girl they really liked, 6% never buy dances and 33% said they don’t go to strip clubs.
Then I asked a question that was more germane to SCORELAND: Do you like photo sets and video with a strip club or lap dance theme? The results: 24% love them, 23% like them, 38% said they were indifferent and the remaining 14% hate them. So maybe strip clubs are just not as popular as they were in the ’90s. Or maybe guys can only handle the environment or the expense for so long before they bail out and need a break.
What I don’t see are any dancers stacked like Summer Sinn at Goldfingers or The Boobie Trap, two local skin emporiums. My friends in other cities tell me the same thing. What happened to all the really busty dancers across the U.S.? They’re not easy to find anymore. That’s one of the main reasons I don’t go like I used to.
Summer’s back next week at SCORELAND. She’s not playing a stripper, but she is sliding down a bologna pole. Her huge boobs are always a welcome sight here.
If you guys ever see a really busty dancer in your strip club travels (those of you who still go, that is), let us know. These gals have become an endangered species.
Anyone remember Kyla Ebbert from last year? She was the skimpily dressed 23-year-old hottie who was led off of a Southwest Airlines flight for wearing clothing that was considered too sexy. The story even made international headlines. A Southwest flight attendant asked Kyla to leave her seat while the plane was preparing to leave San Diego. Ebbert, a Hooters waitress and a student, was headed to Tucson, Arizona for a doctor’s appointment. She said Southwest representatives told her, “You’re dressed inappropriately. This is a family airline. You’re too provocative to fly on this plane.” Kyla was allowed back on the plane after adjusting her sweater.
I have to wonder how Southwest would react to SCORE models Lori Pleasure, Crystal Gunns and Cindy Cupps if they tried to a board a Southwest jet? Would they shut the flight down?
Lori Pleasure dresses for comfort even when she's in public.
Crystal Gunns and Cindy Cupps: "I'm sorry, girls. You can't take this flight."
Today I want to talk about two subjects that are near and dear to my heart: areolae and nipples.
You see, I think that big tits are great but only because every tit out there has its own personality based on what kind of dug it’s sporting. There are all sorts of nips and areolae out there, and I’ve always wondered if anyone else categorizes them like I do. When I see a pair of big tits, I automatically assess the type of dug and file said tits into their own class.So I figured why not share my thoughts on nipples with you guys, eh? I would love to know if you guys have your own categories for areolae and what they are. Let’s discuss!
And now, without further ado, let’s take a quick stroll down Dug Street, gentlemen.
Pepperonnis: Otherwise known as "chicas," these areolae are darker in color and usually found on Latina ladies like Paola Rios.
Mocha Mams/m&m's: Dark and lovely dugs that look like they taste like chocolate. Janet Jade's got a great pair of m&m's.
Pink Perkies: Tiny nipples and tiny areolae that are usually lighter in color, like June Summers'.
Pierced Pups: Any type of nipple sporting jewelery like Alexis Amore's.
Super-Sizers: When areolae are large and make up more than 40% of the facade of a big tit like Denise Davies' dugs.
Faders: When areolae are so faint in color that they kind of dissappear into the rest of the tit flesh like Bea Flora's do.
FOX rolled out its new reality dating show. It’s called More To Love, and it’s about a guy who tries to find love with 20 plus-sized girls. So I tune in, figuring, “Big girls, big tits,” right?
In what might go down as the worst casting in the history of reality TV, the producers managed to find 20 big girls of which only one has big tits. And you’d better believe she was touting her advantage in a tight, low-cut dress, puppies bouncing all over the place. But the rest? Yipes!
At one point, some chick was going on and on about how she’d never had a date, and I’m screaming at the TV, “Honey, you weigh 300 pounds and only two of it’s tit!” I mean, take your pick: big tits, big ass, or pretty face. A girl’s gotta give your mind something to negotiate with your cock.
COCK: She’s a big girl.
MIND: But she’s very nice.
COCK: She’s a big girl.
MIND: She’s very nice, and she has big tits.
That’s how it works in real life.
Obviously, the people who cast More To Love didn’t know what they were doing. They should’ve come to us. Here are five big girls for starters. They have more to love in all the right places.
Contessa Rose bookmarks the cock in First Fuxxx, now at SCORELAND.
Today we kick off a SCORELAND special called “First Fuxxx.” As the name makes clear, “First Fuxxx” is the full-seXXX debuts of three new busty babes, all in one week. Today, new discovery Contessa Rose does the deed for the very first time on camera.
On Wednesday, it’s new discovery Aileen Ghettman’s turn to open wide and say aah for cock. Aileen debuts in the October ’09 SCORE magazine, now on sale at eBoobStore.
On Friday, huge favorite Eva Notty has her First Fukkk. In June, Eva had a month-long SCORELAND special devoted to her. She did an interview, solos, toys, got an oily boob massage by a dude and did a tits & tugs hand job and titty-fuck over four weeks. Now, it’s all the way for Eva, and SCORELAND‘s got her first.
Check out this clip of contestant #1, Contessa Rose. She’s a handfull!
After fucking a blonde babe, a guy goes into the kitchen and pours a glass of milk. His cock is still hot, so he sticks it in the milk to cool it off. The blonde walks in on him, points and says, “Oh, I always wondered how guys refilled those.”
Typical dumb blonde joke. But under the surface, a powerful motivator.
Psychologists at Bremen University in Germany say that blondes really are dumber after they hear dumb blonde jokes and that blonde jokes make blondes do poorly in tests. They tested 80 students, 40 of them blonde. They presented the blonde students with a negative stereotype about dumb blondes before they took the test. The blondes that were told that blondes were dumb performed worse than the others. The scientists want to examine how these negative stereotypes affect people and devise ways to counteract effects of the dumb blonde stereotype.
So there is a scientific reason behind the dumb busty blonde stereotype.
Simona Halep, a Romanian tennis player who’s trying to break in on the pro tour, recently underwent surgery to have her big hooters reduced. Said Ms. Halep, “It’s the weight that troubles me, my ability to react quickly. My breasts make me uncomfortable when I play.”
At the risk of sounding unsympathetic, I say bullshit. Don’t blame your tits for your inability to hit a tennis ball. Tits have nothing to do with it. As proof, I present this video of Minka, whose breasts are about 10 times as large as Ms. Halep’s used to be. Minka could kick her ass.