Today I want to talk about two subjects that are near and dear to my heart: areolae and nipples.
You see, I think that big tits are great but only because every tit out there has its own personality based on what kind of dug it’s sporting. There are all sorts of nips and areolae out there, and I’ve always wondered if anyone else categorizes them like I do. When I see a pair of big tits, I automatically assess the type of dug and file said tits into their own class.So I figured why not share my thoughts on nipples with you guys, eh? I would love to know if you guys have your own categories for areolae and what they are. Let’s discuss!
And now, without further ado, let’s take a quick stroll down Dug Street, gentlemen.
Pepperonnis: Otherwise known as "chicas," these areolae are darker in color and usually found on Latina ladies like Paola Rios.
Mocha Mams/m&m's: Dark and lovely dugs that look like they taste like chocolate. Janet Jade's got a great pair of m&m's.
Pink Perkies: Tiny nipples and tiny areolae that are usually lighter in color, like June Summers'.
Pierced Pups: Any type of nipple sporting jewelery like Alexis Amore's.
Super-Sizers: When areolae are large and make up more than 40% of the facade of a big tit like Denise Davies' dugs.
Faders: When areolae are so faint in color that they kind of dissappear into the rest of the tit flesh like Bea Flora's do.
FOX rolled out its new reality dating show. It’s called More To Love, and it’s about a guy who tries to find love with 20 plus-sized girls. So I tune in, figuring, “Big girls, big tits,” right?
In what might go down as the worst casting in the history of reality TV, the producers managed to find 20 big girls of which only one has big tits. And you’d better believe she was touting her advantage in a tight, low-cut dress, puppies bouncing all over the place. But the rest? Yipes!
At one point, some chick was going on and on about how she’d never had a date, and I’m screaming at the TV, “Honey, you weigh 300 pounds and only two of it’s tit!” I mean, take your pick: big tits, big ass, or pretty face. A girl’s gotta give your mind something to negotiate with your cock.
COCK: She’s a big girl.
MIND: But she’s very nice.
COCK: She’s a big girl.
MIND: She’s very nice, and she has big tits.
That’s how it works in real life.
Obviously, the people who cast More To Love didn’t know what they were doing. They should’ve come to us. Here are five big girls for starters. They have more to love in all the right places.
Contessa Rose bookmarks the cock in First Fuxxx, now at SCORELAND.
Today we kick off a SCORELAND special called “First Fuxxx.” As the name makes clear, “First Fuxxx” is the full-seXXX debuts of three new busty babes, all in one week. Today, new discovery Contessa Rose does the deed for the very first time on camera.
On Wednesday, it’s new discovery Aileen Ghettman’s turn to open wide and say aah for cock. Aileen debuts in the October ’09 SCORE magazine, now on sale at eBoobStore.
On Friday, huge favorite Eva Notty has her First Fukkk. In June, Eva had a month-long SCORELAND special devoted to her. She did an interview, solos, toys, got an oily boob massage by a dude and did a tits & tugs hand job and titty-fuck over four weeks. Now, it’s all the way for Eva, and SCORELAND‘s got her first.
Check out this clip of contestant #1, Contessa Rose. She’s a handfull!
After fucking a blonde babe, a guy goes into the kitchen and pours a glass of milk. His cock is still hot, so he sticks it in the milk to cool it off. The blonde walks in on him, points and says, “Oh, I always wondered how guys refilled those.”
Typical dumb blonde joke. But under the surface, a powerful motivator.
Psychologists at Bremen University in Germany say that blondes really are dumber after they hear dumb blonde jokes and that blonde jokes make blondes do poorly in tests. They tested 80 students, 40 of them blonde. They presented the blonde students with a negative stereotype about dumb blondes before they took the test. The blondes that were told that blondes were dumb performed worse than the others. The scientists want to examine how these negative stereotypes affect people and devise ways to counteract effects of the dumb blonde stereotype.
So there is a scientific reason behind the dumb busty blonde stereotype.
Simona Halep, a Romanian tennis player who’s trying to break in on the pro tour, recently underwent surgery to have her big hooters reduced. Said Ms. Halep, “It’s the weight that troubles me, my ability to react quickly. My breasts make me uncomfortable when I play.”
At the risk of sounding unsympathetic, I say bullshit. Don’t blame your tits for your inability to hit a tennis ball. Tits have nothing to do with it. As proof, I present this video of Minka, whose breasts are about 10 times as large as Ms. Halep’s used to be. Minka could kick her ass.