Hold the phone! Ellis is supposed to be testing bras.
Ellis Rose has special tests to see how supportive a bra is, and she shows us what her tests are like. No one, with the exception of Ellis’ bra fitter, has ever seen this.
“This was fun,” Ellis said. “I liked the measuring, trying on the bras and ripping the pantyhose.”
I like Ellis’ style. She’s very comfortable on-camera for someone who’d never done this before.
The countdown’s begun for “North Coast Vacation.” Travel to an island paradise filled with eight of the world’s bustiest naturals. First up on Saturday: Alexya.
Every time we talk to a very big-boobed girl about bras, whether she’s Alexsis Faye, Milly Marks or Maya Milano, they all have one thing in common: Buying bras that give them support, comfort and look good is a time-consuming challenge.
Micky Bells also faces this situation challenge.
“During my pregnancy and now, I sleep with a bra on,” Micky said. “I don’t know how much my breasts weigh now, but they are heavy. I buy my bras online at Bravissimo, Brastop or an online store in the Czech Republic. I buy new bras online almost every month. Usually the big-size bras are just white, black or beige, so my most-important need is comfort and support. I couldn’t find a sports bra that fit me after my pregnancy. I didn’t wear any nursing bras because I didn’t find one that fit me properly, so I wore a normal one.”
In this scene, Micky returns with a bag of bras and tries them on. She has a special technique for testing them so watch how Micky does it.
Micky’s got some bra testin’ to do.
The great one returns to SCORELAND today with new photos and a video. It’s a bra show!
Jasmine Jae has a good sense of humor. She said the kind of dates she likes to go on are, “Any date that ends up with me getting a dick in at least one of my holes.” She’s a double-penetration specialist like Cathy Heaven and Tigerr Benson. (Everybody’s a specialist these days, like doctors and lawyers.) “I love getting DP’ed. Both my holes getting filled at the same time is pretty much a guaranteed way to make me cum.”
Jasmine Jae likes at least two men working her over.
Princess Pumpkins shows how she squeezes her 32T boobs into bras, laying out a selection of her hooter holsters on the bed. When her bra try-outs end, Princess tickles her nipples and golden-haired pussy. “I’ve never found a bra big enough to fully fit,” Princess said. “My boobs are too big and my back is too small.” Keep in mind that Princess stands 5′ and her tits measure 50-inches.
Princesss Pumpkins has an incredible profile.
Vanessa Y.‘s scene is a little weird but the two-time Vmag Model of the Year winner always comes up with something different. This time she’s tied-up and gagged by an unseen, black-gloved mystery man. A red rope crisscrosses her body. The hands feel her up, play with her big boobs and bush and touch her nipples in P.O.V. When I first saw it, it reminded me of one of Dario Argento’s Italian thriller movies.
Vanessa Y. always comes up with different ideas. This one is kinky.
Dressed for success.
My boss has a chair that’s a little like that, but the tits…well, my boss is a man.
A long time ago, I did have a big-titted boss. I was working a part-time job as a typesetter, and my boss had huge naturals and never wore a bra. It was always cold in that office, and you know what that means. I’m sure she caught me checking her out a few times, her boobs jiggling like crazy in her tops. Didn’t matter to me since I didn’t care if I got fired. Her tits made the days a lot less boring. Maybe that was her intention.
Job incentives: 401K. Flexible hours. Paid vacation. Health plan. Boss with big tits.
New photos and a video of boss Joana Bliss go live today at SCORELAND.
Got any busty boss stories you’d like to share?
I did not get this kind of treatment after my bra thievery incident.
Holy crap, I can’t believe I’m about to make this confession, but we’re all friends here, right? And I think the statute of limitations on bra theft is less than 30 years, so I’m safe.
I had actually forgotten about this incident in my life. I was reminded of it only because Amaya May has a new hardcore posting today at SCORELAND, and it starts with Amaya finding one of her bras in a guy’s closet. As Elliot elegantly puts it, “This man is a bra thief!”
I thought, “What kind of man steals a woman’s bra?”
And I remembered, “You, Dave. You stole a woman’s bra!”
Yes, me! I did it! I confess!
And I got caught!
The embarrassing story goes like this: At the time, I was dating a girl who had nice tits but not big tits. She was living in a house with a girl who had HUGE tits and liked to show them off.
So, one morning after staying there the night before, I was in the bathroom, taking a shower, when I noticed the girl’s bra hanging over the sink. Those cups were the size of hammocks. I couldn’t resist. I slipped the bra into my overnight bag and absconded with it.
Well, about a month later, my girlfriend found it in the place where I was living. By that time, I had–ahem–used it several times.
The weird thing about it is that she didn’t bat an eye. She just said, “That’s not mine.” She didn’t ask whose it was. Maybe she already knew. Maybe a stolen bra alert had gone out in her house a few weeks earlier. I don’t know. That’s the weirdest part of the story…that my girlfriend didn’t seem bothered by this mysterious bra in my drawer.
You’re probably wondering what I did with the bra after I found it.
I did what any normal man would do: I hid it better.
Elliot asked Amaya if she’s ever caught a guy stealing one of her bras. She said, “I’ve caught guys sneaking a peek at the size of my bra!”
I do that all the time. I love bra tags.
Okay, we’re heading into TMI territory. Maybe we were already there.
How a woman puts her bra on tells you what kind of personality she has, according to body language expert Patti Wood.
Miss Wood is the author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. In her book, she explains that the way a woman puts on a bra relates to her personality.
“There are four distinct personality types–drivers, influencers, supporters, and correctors–who have unique ways of doing things,” wrote Miss Wood.
If a woman hooks her bra from the back:
She’s a supporter: “She sticks to tradition and follows along with what she’s been taught by mom and other influential females.”
If she hooks in front of her and twists the bra around:
She’s an influencer: “She likes to feel appreciated, supported and look the image that she’s projecting to the world, such as a business professional. She may own many different bras.”
If she wears a front loader:
She’s a driver: “She is a planner and researcher. She will not bother with hooks she can’t see. She will not make random purchases, including bras.”
If she pre-hooks her bra and slides it over her head:
She’s a perfectionist: “Everything must be done properly and the right way. She may not like attention.”
In our book, if you get to see a girl put her bra on (after she’s taken it off), you’re already at the point when you’re past wondering about her personality.
We have received several job applications to be Milly Marks' bra-fitter even though we never advertised that position.
Rachel also has a nice smile.
Seeing these pictures of Rachel Raxxx, who smothers a dude with her massive naturals and fucks today at SCORELAND, and Paige Turner, who puts on a bra show Sunday, reminds me that there was a time, maybe 60 or 70 years ago, when photos like these of girls in skimpy tops and bras were all that men got to see in men’s magazines. Spread pussy? No way. Fucking? Absolutely not! But then I realize that even today, most boob men, including myself, would have no trouble jacking to these photos.
Paige's bra doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. I know what to do.
Look at Rachel looking amazing in that halter top. She’s only 18 years old, and she has JJ-cup naturals. And she knows how to use them.
Look at Paige. Her bra is overwhelmed. How the hell are the straps not breaking? I can practically hear the hooks straining, screaming for release.
Speaking of screaming for release…
Respect that bra, Rachel. It does a lot of heavy lifting.
It’s not easy being Rachel Raxxx’s bra. Oh, sure, you get to be as close as possible to Rachel’s JJ-cup naturals all day and night, but can you imagine the strain?
Rachel returns to SCORELAND today with photos and a video. Also, Day 24 of our month-long Linsey Dawn McKenzie celebration.
What’s your favorite LDM photo set? Have any of you ever met Linsey, and, if so, where, and what happened? I think I’ve told this story, but I once interviewed Linsey while she was taking a bath. She was naked, of course. Elliot and I also once went out to dinner with Linsey and her sister Alyson, and you should’ve seen the looks on people’s faces when the busty sisters walked into the restaurant.