Categories for Life With Big Tits

Flight delayed because of big tits.

August 10, 2009 by Elliot James 2 Comments

Anyone remember Kyla Ebbert from last year? She was the skimpily dressed 23-year-old hottie who was led off of a Southwest Airlines flight for wearing clothing that was considered too sexy. The story even made international headlines. A Southwest flight attendant asked Kyla to leave her seat while the plane was preparing to leave San Diego. Ebbert, a Hooters waitress and a student, was headed to Tucson, Arizona for a doctor’s appointment. She said Southwest representatives told her, “You’re dressed inappropriately. This is a family airline. You’re too provocative to fly on this plane.” Kyla was allowed back on the plane after adjusting her sweater.

I have to wonder how Southwest would react to SCORE models Lori Pleasure, Crystal Gunns and Cindy Cupps if they tried to a board a Southwest jet? Would they shut the flight down?

Lori dresses for comfort.

Lori Pleasure dresses for comfort even when she's in public.

I'm sorry, girls. You can't take this flight.

Crystal Gunns and Cindy Cupps: "I'm sorry, girls. You can't take this flight."

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Rating: 4.4/5

Areolae and Nipples: A deep discussion about dugs.

August 9, 2009 by Maria 4 Comments

Howdy SCORElanders and tit aficionados.

Today I want to talk about two subjects that are near and dear to my heart: areolae and nipples.

You see, I think that big tits are great but only because every tit out there has its own personality based on what kind of dug it’s sporting. There are all sorts of nips and areolae out there, and I’ve always wondered if anyone else categorizes them like I do. When I see a pair of big tits, I automatically assess the type of dug and file said tits into their own class.So I figured why not share my thoughts on nipples with you guys, eh? I would love to know if you guys have your own categories for areolae and what they are. Let’s discuss!

And now, without further ado, let’s take a quick stroll down Dug Street, gentlemen.

-Maria

Pepperonnis: Otherwise known as "chicas", these areolae are darker in color and usually found on Latina ladies like Paola Rios.

Pepperonnis: Otherwise known as "chicas," these areolae are darker in color and usually found on Latina ladies like Paola Rios.

Mocha Mams/m&m's: Dark and lovely dugs that look like they taste like chocolate. Janet Jade's got a great pair of m&m's.

Mocha Mams/m&m's: Dark and lovely dugs that look like they taste like chocolate. Janet Jade's got a great pair of m&m's.

Pink Perkies: Tiny nipples and tiny, areolae that are usually lighter in color like June Summers'.

Pink Perkies: Tiny nipples and tiny areolae that are usually lighter in color, like June Summers'.

Pierced Pups: Any type of nipple sporting jewelery like Alexis Amore's.

Pierced Pups: Any type of nipple sporting jewelery like Alexis Amore's.

Super-Sizers: When areolae are large and make up more than 40% of the facade of a big tit like Denise Davies' dugs.

Super-Sizers: When areolae are large and make up more than 40% of the facade of a big tit like Denise Davies' dugs.

Faders: When areolae are so faint in color that they kind of dissappear into the rest of the tit flesh like Bea Flora's do.

Faders: When areolae are so faint in color that they kind of dissappear into the rest of the tit flesh like Bea Flora's do.

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Rating: 4.6/5

Talkin’ dirty with Kelly Shibari…

August 7, 2009 by Maria 10 Comments

Ha! I said it was only a matter of time before I got to chat with Kelly Shibari, and I was right! I stormed into our studio today and basically stole Kelly from her sit-down interview with our XL Girls editor, Allie Q. (Sorry, Allie!)

Why did I do that?

Well, ever since someone commented that I look like Ms. Shibari, everyone in the office has been calling me Kelly. So I thought it would be fun to talk with her, and yes, I wanted to see her tits in person…and I did! Lester, our video editor, played cameraman while I chatted with Kelly and subsequently almost fell when the wood floor I was standing on split open and swallowed my high heel! lol Kelly was a great sport, teaching me how to talk dirty in Japanese and letting me rest my head on her tits, too. (I fucking LOVE laying my noggin on a pair of big tits. Pillow tits are my place of comfort.)

Check out the video below of my first encounter with my Asian “twin.” LOL!

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Rating: 4.3/5

Jogging her mammaries!

August 6, 2009 by Elliot James 2 Comments

A few weeks ago, Tom, one of our regular letter writers, sent an email for publication in “SCORE Card.” This letter was about a topic very near and dear to me and a lot of other boob-men.

“I know we’ve all seen this before: the big-titted girl who is running down the street late for an appointment. I see it a lot at airports. Unfortunately, that girl is always cognizant of the fact that she’s got a huge rack, and she runs with an arm covering her boobs so they don’t bounce. Ladies, it’s a blessing to have huge tits. Next time you’re running down the street (hopefully wearing something tight), please let your massive sweater melons fly. I like to watch.”

When I saw this video of Brandy Talore running (the perfect girl to ask to run), I knew I had to post it along with Tom’s letter. Like Tom, I love to see big-boobed girls walk, jog and run. I’ve been known to beg our studio for this. Years ago, I even used to hang out at the airport for the chance to see a busty girl jogging to the gate. The best sight is an airport runner wearing big heels or wedges and a tank top. It’s not the same as going to the gym or to an outdoor location to see girls running because most of them are all strapped in by their sports bra, and there’s little boob-bouncing quotient (an actual mathematical formula used by bra developers. Remind me to blog about that one day.).

My only suggestion would be for the videographer to get closer next time and try to record the model’s breathing with an attached microphone.

I can also happily live with an arm-swinging power walker. She doesn’t have to run or jog! But please, leave the bra at home!

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Rating: 4.7/5

When chicks adjust in public

August 2, 2009 by Maria 3 Comments
Haven't you seen a girl adjust her tits in public?

Haven't you seen a girl adjust her tits in public?

Okay, so I have big tits and sometimes I’ve been known to reach down into my bra and shift my boobs around. They’re tits. They bounce around when I walk and jiggle when I giggle. And with all of that moving around, somehow or another, they start to break loose from the confines of my sturdy bras. So, I’ll reach in and lift them and shift them back into place. It’s about a five second process for each tit, and then I am good for about an hour when I have to do it again.

Sometimes I do it subconsciously in public and I will look up and catch some guy watching me like I just tore my shirt off or something. The look on his face reads, “Did you just fondle yourself in public? Did you just cop a feel of your own jugs in my presence? Do it again!” lol

I didn’t really realize that it was a big deal until I caught some guy adjusting his junk at the supermarket the other night.

When I see a guy adjusting his package in public, I stare, too.

Renee's boobs are wild and unruly. She adjusts them in public all the time.

Renee's boobs are wild and unruly. She adjusts them in public all the time.

How could I not? It’s hard to look away when a man palms his cash and prizes right out in the open and shifts them around.

Maybe women shifting boobs in their bras is the equivalent of guys adjusting their junk?

I ran that by new V-Girl Renee Ross, and she told me that there is a huge difference.

“Boobs are hot,” she said. “Touching them in public is hot. It’s sexy to see a woman touch herself like that. But a guy adjusting his package is NOT.”

Big tits: Like a headrest, but better.

Big tits: Like a headrest, but better.

This is true. I guess at the end of the day, we would all rather watch Renee feel herself up and fix her bra, eh?

What say you, boob men? Do you think it’s hot when a woman tit-adjusts in public? Do you guys catch chicks doing this a lot?

-Maria

PS: Taking these photos for the blog was exhausting. Thankfully, Renee let me rest my weary head on her J-cup pillow tits. Yes, they are comfortable. Yes, they are amazing. In fact, I might have left a little drool on her right tit! lol

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Rating: 4.3/5

Things you want girls to do with their tits

July 31, 2009 by Elliot James 2 Comments
Alexa was made for the camera.

Alexa was made for the camera.

The Net is much cooler than TV. Because no one ever created a “back at ya” button for TV. Although people can write or phone a television station, they generally don’t because TV has trained us for generations to be a passive audience. But on the Net, real interaction is possible.

So I have a question.

It would be a great world if you could just walk up to a girl and ask her to play with her tits, and then she did. But that will never happen. So let’s say a big-boobed model is coming into SCORELAND for the day and you could ask her to do one thing with her ta-tas while you videotaped her for less a minute. What would it be? Try on a tight top? Stiffen her nipples? Jiggle or shake them? Slap them together? Jump up and down?

What would you have her do? Let us know, and we’ll see if we can make it happen. And don’t forget to tell us who you want to do it, too.

Me? I’d have her self-suck her nipples.

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Rating: 4.6/5

The absolute worst pick-up lines ever told to SCORE Girls

July 29, 2009 by Elliot James 3 Comments

We’ve had a semi-regular section for several years in SCORE magazine called “The Absolute Worst Pick-up Lines Ever Told to SCORE Girls.” SCORE Girls are hit on a lot, so they hear a lot more of those cheesy pick-up lines than the average girl. When they come in for a shoot, we ask them if they can remember some of the worst zingers. Some don’t but some do. When they do, we write them down. These lines are so bad, they smell.

That’s why we recommend that if you ever meet a SCORE model in the real world…a nightclub, an event, at an airport…just be yourself and dump the pick-up lines, the reverse-psychology insults and all the other pre-set scripts and comments that the pick-up gurus sell on the Net.

You might luck out.

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Rating: 4.6/5

You can dress ’em up…

July 29, 2009 by Maria 20 Comments
Private Autumn salutes her Sergeant.

Private Autumn salutes her Sergeant.

Chantz Fortune could bust me whenever she wants.

Chantz Fortune could bust me whenever she wants.

Nurse Cindy can make it all better.

Nurse Cindy can make it all better.

We have great debates here at SCORELAND. Sometimes we argue over who our best newcomer is and sometimes it’s about which photos go to SCORE Mag and which ones come to me at V-Mag. Sometimes we get into heated discussions about projects that are in the pipeline,and it can get pretty nuts if we start talking about tits. (Dave claims that although I have all the “equipment,” he knows how to use it. I usually roll my eyes at this and ask him to cease and desist. lol)

Janet Jade needs a lesson. See her new schoolgirl photos today at SCORELAND.

Janet Jade needs a lesson. See her new schoolgirl photos today at SCORELAND.

Lately, we’ve had all these heated discussions about big-titted chicks in costumes. (I think this was sparked by a blog comment about chicks in military garb.) I, for one, am a fan of hot babes with their giant boobs stuffed into tight, little costumes. (I’m a big fan of juggy cops. Maybe because I would like to be “busted” by a busty officer? Hmm?)

Some would argue that costumes aren’t necessary, but I think that big-boobed construction workers, chefs, schoolgirls, and nurses are the stuff of wet dreams. Don’t you? So, I want to hear from you guys. Are hooters in fantasy garb your cup of tea? If so, what kind of costumes turn you on? I’d love to know. – Maria

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Rating: 4.5/5

Why SCORE models should never have boyfriends

July 24, 2009 by Dave 5 Comments

Today on SCORELAND, Cassandra Calogera sucks and fucks…something that never would have happened if she hadn’t dumped her boyfriend.

Listen, if I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a hundred times: Boyfriends keep models from doing the things they really want to do (like have sex with strangers on camera). Wanna fuck up a perfectly good model? Give her a boyfriend.

Christy Marks, who interviews Cassandra in this fascinating video, doesn’t have a boyfriend, and she took on Ramon’s giant cock in one video and got ass-fucked in another. Cassandra told her jealous boyfriend to hit the road, and now she’s fucking in movies like Stacked Street Sluts and SCORE POV.

So, if a SCORE Girl ever comes up to you and says, “I want you to be my boyfriend,” the proper response is, “Sorry, babe. I’d love to, but I have my fellow SCORE Men to think about.” Thank you.

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Rating: 4.2/5

Lunch with busty MILFs

July 23, 2009 by Elliot James 1 Comment

Persia Monir, who Dave blogged about on July 20, is visiting the SCORE studio next week. We both think she’s one of the hottest big-boobed MILFs we’ve ever seen. Fifty must be the new 35. MILFs seem to be hot even in the mainstream. I could definitely picture a reality TV show about Persia. By total coincidence, a hardcore photo set and video of Persia is running this weekend on SCORELAND.

In the prime time and lovin' every minute.

In the prime time and lovin' every minute.

Dave and I go to a local burger joint for lunch on Wednesdays. We spend half our time looking at our food and the other half checking out the often impressive parade of hotly dressed MILFs walking around. They must either work in the area or just live nearby, and they apparently like the place. Tight, low-cut tops, tight jeans or skirts, high heels…it’s like a fashion show. Of course, if they’re with an Incredible Hulk, we avoid staring too long. This place is self-service, so everyone walks back and forth for whatever they need, and that’s the beauty of it. I daydreamed about seeing Persia walk in one day, but she doesn’t live anywhere near the place, so it’s unlikely she would ever have lunch here. But I have seen birds of her feather.

I’ll keep eating there. Maybe we’ll find another busty MILF like Persia who’s ready to model. But that won’t be easy. Persia is definitely up there in the MILF boob chain.

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Rating: 4.4/5