Categories for The Life of an Editor

Maddie, I’m mad for you!

March 24, 2010 by Maria

Hello fellow lovers of blouse bunnies!

Okay, so from time to time I like to wander around SCORELAND and look at different girls that I would like to bang.

(As I am sure the rest of you do as well.)

I would give Maddie the best tongue lashing of all time.

I would give Maddie the best tongue lashing of all time.

British box stuffer. YUM!

British box stuffer. YUM!

Well, one of the ladies who definitely deserves to be clam-rammed by me is 34E wet dream Maddie Thomas.

Maddie, at least to me, is what I like to call “Realistically Fuckable,” meaning that she is hot enough to get me all bothered, but she looks approachable and cool. (Kind of like a Hooters girl, but better.) If I saw Maddie at a bar, I am pretty sure we would hit it off. I am pretty sure we would chat and drink beers. I am pretty sure she would laugh at my jokes and tell me that my boobs are awesome. She would definitely grope my boobs. Naturally, I would return the favor. And then she would tell me she always wanted to go all the way with a chick and we would end up in a pile of tits and tongues on my living room floor.

Wait…what? lol Sorry. I got lost in my fantasy for a second.

Okay, back to Maddie.

You know what else makes her fucking hot? Her accent. She’s a Brit, and who wouldn’t want a chick with a British accent? I think British girls sound EXTRA hot when they talk dirty. I think because they sound so proper but are being slutty. It does something for me.

Anywho, Maddie has two sets up in SCORELAND, and you should check them out. And I promise that if I EVER end up in a pile of tits and tongues with this hottie, I will not only blog about it, I’ll post pictures! lol

xoxo

Maria

Confessions of a big-tit-magazine editor

March 22, 2010 by Dave
Donita Dunes is probaby my favorite porn star ever and my go-to jack. If SCORE was all about me, she'd be in every issue.

Donita Dunes is probaby my favorite porn star ever and my go-to jack girl. If SCORE was all about me, she'd be in every issue. But it's not, so she isn't.

I’m going to make a confession: I’m the editor of SCORE (that’s not the confession part), but the magazine doesn’t always reflect my exact personal tastes (that’s the confession part). Yes, I love big tits. Yes, I was a SCORE reader and SCORELAND member before I came to The SCORE Group. But the fact is that if the magazine reflected my exact personal tastes, some of you wouldn’t be happy. The thing is, the main job of an editor is knowing what your readers like and why they like it, then giving it to them. I do understand how every girl who appears in the magazine will appeal to many readers. Bottom line: SCORE is not about me. It’s about you. All of you.

I love Victoria Brown. She's nasty. She's slutty. She'll do anything on camera. I don't want to have a conversation with her. I want to fuck her.

I love Victoria Brown. She's nasty. She's slutty. She'll do anything on camera. I don't want to have a conversation with her. I want to bone her in the ass.

Which brings me to the poll question that’s currently running on the Blog. It goes, “What would be your dream date with your favorite big-boobed model?” The results so far:

Just get to know her better over dinner: 12%

Something romantic, and if it leads to sex, great: 18%

Something fun, and if it leads to sex, great: 37%

Date? I just want to fuck her!: 21%

I’ll take dinner and a tit-fuck.: 12%

It boggles my mind that for 67% of you, the dream date doesn’t have to involve sex. Maybe it’s because I’ve already had the opportunity to meet and get to know the girls, so now I want to have sex with them. But I don’t think that’s all of it. Even when I was a SCORE and Voluptuous reader and SCORELAND member, I wanted to do two things with the models: 1. Jack to them; 2. Fuck them.

And there’s another thing.

I like sluts. I love sluts. I don’t want my big-titted models to be glamour girls. I have no fantasies of marrying them or of them being my girlfriend. I want them to dress like sluts and act like sluts. They don’t even have to be sluts; they just have to act like them at the appropriate times. But, you may have noticed, we don’t go for the hooker/slut look too often in SCORE and on SCORELAND. Why? Because it’s not what most of you guys want. But I do love our website BigTitHooker.com.

One of my favorite photos on SCORELAND. It's sleazy, it's in-your-face. It's of Aspen, who I've met several times. She's a very nice girl. But I like her best with a cock in her mouth.

One of my favorite photos on SCORELAND. It's sleazy, it's in-your-face. It's of Aspen, who I've met several times. She's a very nice girl. But I like her best with a cock in her mouth.

I’m kinda this way with professional athletes, too. I have no desire to meet any of them or go out to lunch with any of them (except for maybe SaRenna Williams, but I’d just sit there and stare at her rack). I sometimes hear about charity dinners in which people pay to sit at the same table with a famous athlete. Yeah, and do what? I want David Wright (the Mets’ third baseman) to do one thing for me this season: hit home runs. I have no desire to meet him. Of course, this could be because I used to be a sports writer and know that professional athletes tend to be extremely uninteresting.

That’s not true of SCORE Girls. They tend to be very interesting and a lot of fun, too. But the thing is, they have those big tits, and those pussies they love to show off, and the whole idea of it is so nasty and hot…I just want to fuck them, and yeah, dinner would be nice, but…

I think you get the picture.

The Madness of March

March 20, 2010 by Maria

I am going to put this warning out there right off the bat.

THIS POSTING IS NOT SO MUCH ABOUT TITS AS IT IS ABOUT BASKETBALL.

There. I said it.

You see, I have March Madness on the brain. Basketball and brackets and teams.

I know. You thought that as the editor of Voluptuous, surely I must think about tits 24/7. But I find some time to think about sports and beer, too.

(And girly things like shoes and makeup. lol)

It happens.

Despite what you think, there is only ONE basketball in this pic.

Despite what you think, there is only ONE basketball in this pic.

Sabina dunks and then scores with a cock on the court.

Sabina dunks and then scores with a cock on the court.

And you know what? I am probably not alone in my mind-wanderings about college basketball. I am sure that some of you have the madness, too. In fact, I am sure you are toggling between this blog and ESPN, keeping a close eye on the fate of your teams.

Luckily, my thinking about basketball eventually turned into thinking about tits and basketball. (Yes, most of my musings always come full circle to knockers. lol)

So I thought, “Maria, what busty girls have played basketball for us?” and then I thought of Daphne Rosen‘s set for Tits-A-Poppin’. Daphne plays some basketball and then plays some sucktheballs with a stud right on the court. Not too shabby.

Then I thought about Sabina Leigh‘s basketball boning in Bounce Baby Bounce!, and I made a mental note to rewatch her scene for, um, posterity.

But to be honest, my favorite basketball set of all time has nothing to do with boobs. It has more to do with ass.

(I am as much a fan of big asses as I am a fan of big tits. Sue me.)

For me, there is just something fucking delicious about Kina Kara and this basketball. (And she has some decent-sized sweater puppies, too, don’t get me wrong.)

Kina's ass needs slapping and oiling. I would D'up on that!

Kina's ass needs slapping and oiling. I would D'up on that!

Maybe it’s because I am the editor of BootyLicious, but I just like the idea of playing basketball with and throwing down some hard defense against a girl with a huge ass.

Now let me Forrest Gump my way out of this post and say that that’s pretty much all I have to say about that.

Have a great weekend, guys. Hope those of you embroiled in some serious March Madnessing have success with your brackets!

xoxox

Maria

It’s not nice to talk with your mouth full…

March 16, 2010 by Dave

Of course, it is okay to talk with your mouth full if you’re a stacked chick and you’re talking while your mouth is full of cock.

Come to think of it, it’s okay to talk with your mouth full if you’re a flat-chested chick and you’re talking while your mouth is full of cock. Let’s face it: If any girl is sucking cock, she can do whatever she wants.

Anyway, in this brief video, G-cup newcomer Melonie Max sucks cock while answering my questions. Three things impress me:

1. She doesn’t lose her sucking rhythm during the interview.

2. The guy doesn’t lose his hard-on from hearing my voice. Chances are, he was so focused on Melonie’s spectacular BJ technique that he didn’t even notice I was there.

3. I don’t pull out my cock and stuff it in Melonie’s mouth during the interview. Because that’s the natural instinct, right? To want to get your cock sucked when you see a girl who’s a foot away from you sucking? Cock doesn’t care about decorum and professionalism (that’s what I’m supposed to exhibit in situations like this). It only cares about the super-busty babe who’s obviously very willing to suck cock.

Enough of that. You can see Melonie sucking and fucking right now at XLGIRLS.COM. Or you can wait a few days and see her doing it at SCORELAND.

Thank you for your time.–Dave

The Bucking Bronco: It’s a hard cock life for us…

March 10, 2010 by Guest Blogger
For some lucky guy, fucking Alexis Silver is just another day at the office.

For some lucky guy, fucking Alexis Silver is just another day at the office.

At around 10 o’clock last night, I still had no clue what to write about, so I took to Twitter to get some ideas from my 150 or so followers. (Yes, I realize exactly how lame that sounds. Feel free to mock me accordingly.) They posed some interesting questions about porn, but one, in particular, caught my attention:

“Would you ever consider doing it?”

Believe it or not, in the three years that I’ve worked here and 14 years that I’ve been watching porn, I had never once thought about this question. So, would I?

I’d like to think that if I ever got the chance, I’d be the world’s best porn stud. I’d be that guy that all of the models were clamoring to work with. You’d look at my IMDB page and it would be like 700 porn movies long. And half of them would be well-known movies. Regular people would know me by name, and they’d stop me on the streets for autographs. I’d be that male porn star who transcends the business and winds up getting a lead role in the next Tarantino flick.

Of course, that was just my initial thought process. Admittedly, it has some flaws. After giving it some real thought, the truth is that I would never want to be in porn. Ever. And that’s probably best for all of us here today.

For starters, I don’t have the body for it. Most porn stars are ripped and/or hung like horses. I’m neither. I’m actually fairly average, and in porn, fairly average just doesn’t sell DVDs.

I’m also no good under pressure. Put me in a room with a girl and a bed and I’m fine. Add unbelievably bright lights, a cameraman getting all up in my business, and a director barking instructions and you might as well just replace me with a limp strand of spaghetti because there’s no way in hell I’m going to be able to perform under those conditions. I have a hard enough time concentrating when my cat is watching me.

But, assuming I could block all of that out, I would still lack the ability to last for the duration of a movie. It amazes me that those guys can go on for what seems like hours. I’m good for about 15 minutes, tops. And that’s with an average-looking girl. I couldn’t even imagine how quickly I’d be done if the girl looked anything like Alexis Silver. I’d maybe be able to pull off a 30-second commercial, but that’s about it.

The biggest problem I’d have, though, is this: I don’t know that I’d ever want people I know to see me naked. Some folks are perfectly comfortable with that sort of thing. I’m not. I’m that guy in the locker room, showering in his underwear, like a seven-year-old.

Call me a bitch if you want, but being a porn stud is a lot harder than it looks (pun intended), and I’m just not up to the task. What about you guys, though? Be honest. If we offered you the chance, would you jump on it? Or would you keep your day job?

Man’s face crushed by boobs

March 8, 2010 by Elliot James
The face-flattening power of super-human boobs.

The face-flattening power of super-human boobs.

The massive weight of Chelsea Charms’ and Colt 45’s tits plopped on my face for over a minute was like experiencing the G-forces a pilot feels on his face or in a pilot-training centrifuge. Every guy has his favorite moments and photos. This is one of mine, from the Exotic Dancer Fan Fair in 2000, in Las Vegas. When they removed their boobs, I could breathe again. It’s true. A guy can be smothered and crushed by tits. Fortunately, I didn’t need the facial reconstruction services of Drs. Christian Troy and Sean McNamara from Nip/Tuck. I only wish the event had been captured on video. I still remember the feel of their boob skin. I wonder what the world’s record is for being boob-headed.

Do black and Latina women have pinker pussies?

February 23, 2010 by Dave
Africa and her very pink pussy.

Africa and her very pink pussy.

I fear that many of you are going to call me an idiot for asking this question because I’m sure that for some of you, it’s self-evident: Black and Latina women seem to have pinker pussies because their skin color provides contrast for the pinkness in their pussies (as opposed to white or pinkish skin that blends in with the color of a woman’s pussy). But I’m not so sure about that explanation. Just as a test, enlarge this photo of Africa (left) and keep enlarging it until all you can see is pussy (or, if you like, use some paper to block out everything but her pussy).

Candace Von's pussy.

Candace Von's pussy.

See? Even without her brown skin to contrast the pinkness in her pussy, Africa’s pussy is still vibrantly pink. Of course, Africa might be a bad example because she has the pinkest pussy I’ve ever seen. So check out the pussy to the right and the ones below, too.

Have you ever seen white chicks with pussies this pink?

Do I spend too much time thinking about tits and pussy? Hey, it’s my job.

I also feel that the pinker a pussy, the more it should be described as a cunt. Pussy sounds soft, cuddly. Ultra-pink pussy is wet and in your face. It’s a cunt. It needs to be eaten and fucked. Otherwise, its raison d’etre is destroyed. I don’t mean this in a derogatory way (as in, “That girl is a real cunt”). I mean it in a complimentary, descriptive way (as in, “That girl has a really pink cunt that I’d love to fuck”).

So don’t start causing trouble, okay?

Jada Fire's well-fucked pink pussy.

Jada Fire's well-fucked pink pussy.

Janet Jade's delicious cunt hole.

Janet Jade's delicious cunt hole.

Intensive care at the cleavage clinic

February 21, 2010 by Elliot James
Taylor Wane has the wet dream nurse down to a science.

Taylor Wane has the wet dream nurse down to a science.

This letter was published in “Scorecard” #45 back in 2001. It’s one of those topics that never gets dated. At first, letter writer Paul admits it was originally a complaint, but then he does a complete 180.

“As a devotee since 1997, you never stop amazing me with the quality of big titters. But this was going to be a letter of complaint regards the insult to my profession as a nurse. We try to destroy the myth that nurses are sex objects and are therefore the fantasy of men. As a man, I also have the fact that most people think that male nurses are gay. We are not. When I saw the pictorial of Linsey as a nurse, I thought, ‘Oh my God.’ Perfection. Words do not express what happened down below but it was a while before it returned to normal. So maybe I was being a prude. All I can say is would you mind asking SaRenna if she would do a nurse’s pictorial as she is my favorite model of all time.”

This in no way realistically depicts the nursing profession. Unfortunately.

This in no way realistically depicts the nursing profession. Unfortunately.

The sexy nurse theme isn’t just used by horny publishers and movie studios. I was reading in a newspaper that the owners of Heart Attack Grill in Chandler, Arizona, filed a federal lawsuit against a new Delray Beach, Florida restaurant called Heart Stoppers, claiming that the Florida place is using the medical themes that Heart Attack Grill says it originated. It’ll be interesting to see how this case plays out. It seems to me that the costumed server theme is kinda universal. There have to be restaurants somewhere with waitresses dressed as cheerleaders or plaid-skirted co-eds. In Japan, there are cafes that feature waitresses dressed as French maids.

I love Jezhabelle but this uniform was too baggy so it didn't make my top five.

I love Jezhabelle, but this uniform was too baggy so it didn't make my top five.

Going back to Paul’s letter, A.) I never thought of male nurses as being gay and I didn’t know that people in general do, as Paul claims. B.) I absolutely do think of female nurses, in general, as sex objects. In my own life, I’ve never had a nurse who came close to looking like any of our models, regardless of the uniform. (Probably some lucky dudes have.) But I have seen some sensational-looking clerical staffers in various doctors’ offices. Maybe our friend Renee Ross, who says she wears scrubs in her job as a post-op nurse, will comment about Paul’s statements.

We don’t do lots of nurse-themed shoots. I wish we did more. My own top five SCORELAND nurses are 1) Cindy Cupps; 2) Autumn-Jade; 3) Cherry Brady; 4) Romina Lopez; and 5) Taylor Wane from March ’05 SCORE. Jezhabelle only made runner-up because her uniform was too loose-fitting and she was undressed by the fourth photo in the pictorial. Some nurse sets shot in England with Nicole Peters, Denise Davies and Linsey didn’t work for me at all because the girls wore real British nurse uniforms that couldn’t be any less sexless, not the over-the-top, costume-shop nurse uniforms and FM shoes that even the Heart Attack Grill and Heart Stoppers “nurses” probably would never wear.

I wonder if Paul is still reading SCORE and if he’s approved of all the nurse pictorials that we’re published since he wrote us in 2001. I hope to think so.

Deserves an award for all-time sleaziest nurse outfit.

Deserves an award for all-time sleaziest nurse outfit.

How I spent my Blog vacation, Part 2

February 19, 2010 by Dave

This is a video blog. I can’t add much. It’s all here. Just four short comments:

1. I reiterate what I said in my last posting, she asked me to straddle her. What was I supposed to say, no?

2. You can see more of Anna right here.

3. I have several more videos from my blog vacation (including the greatest six-girl roundtable–roundbed?–discussion about bras ever), but I’m not going to post them for a while. I have my reasons.

4. And to answer your question, “Yes, I did.”

How I spent my Blog vacation, Part 1

February 18, 2010 by Dave

You may have noticed (although you probably haven’t) that I, Dave, haven’t blogged lately. I’ve been around, but I just haven’t blogged.

Well, I ‘d just like everyone to know that I haven’t been slacking. Not at all. Just the opposite, in fact. Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the studio, which has basically been boob heaven for the past several weeks. I’m telling you, the place has been packed with huge, natural tits. And I might as well spend my time in the studio considering that when I’m at my desk, I can’t get any work done.

“Why can’t you get any work done?” you might ask?

Because every time I sit down to do some work, the loud sounds of fucking permeate the wall next to my desk (I share a wall with the studio) and interrupt me. Believe me, it’s hard to get any work done when a Voluptuous model whose identity I won’t reveal is screaming, “Oh, fuck my ass with your big, black cock!” (At no point, by the way, did I respond to that by saying, “You talkin’ to me?”) So, with that, I head back into the studio, pick up the official Blog camera and start taping. Carrying around a camera in the studio is a great way to get the girls to show you their tits.

Anyway, this is the first fruit (boob fruit, you might call it) of my labors: Newcomer Kaytee Carter talking about seeing herself nude for the first time in the May 2010 issue of SCORE, which is available at newsstands now (and at eBoobStore.com very, very soon).

Coming soon: the second fruit of my labors, in which I straddle Anna Kay.

Yes, I did say “straddle Anna Kay.” Hey, she invited me.

But first, enjoy Kaytee.