Categories for The Life of an Editor

Say it with cream :)

February 18, 2010 by Maria

Oh, SCORELAND…the place where fantasies come true. Or cum true…depending on who you speak to. 🙂

I personally love SCORELAND. I love it when we have all sorts of exciting things going on. I love it when we have a new special up and new busty debuts. I love it when I’m just surfing around in the archives and come across something cool.

I love it when we get to see a hottie fuck for the first time. I love it when we go on location and post pics live from the other side of the world.

SCORELAND just fucking rocks my socks about as much as it does your cocks.

“But how do I convey that to you?” I said to myself? How do I say how awesome SCORELAND is to our members?

Then I thought…say it with cream. 🙂

A picture is worth a thousand words. lol

xoxo

Maria

Ivy Darmon says it with cream and there ain't nothing wrong with that!

Ivy Darmon says it with cream, and there ain't nothing wrong with that!

A Valentine from us to YOU!

February 14, 2010 by Maria

Hello Boob Lovers!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I am sure for most of you this is a day filled with ass-kissery to the lady loves in your lives. You know how it goes…you have to take her out to a fancy dinner. You have to buy her something sparkly. You have to “make love,” which we all know is the pretentious, drawn-out, slightly soap-opera-ish cousin to our fave…”fucking.” Valentine’s Day is tough on dudes. I get it. (Even though I am a chick, believe me, I get it. And besides, I don’t have a Valentine of my own this year, so I am allowed to shit all over this holiday meant to make single gals like me turn to chocolate and our vibrators for comfort. lol)

But I ask you this, boob brethren, WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR PRESENT? I don’t see chicks bending over backwards for you on this day. Oh, no. And that, my friends, is biased bullshit. Where is the love for the dudes? WHERE IS THE SPECIAL TREATMENT?

So, on this Valentine’s Day, I have decided to give YOU a Valentine.

Jenna Valentine, that is. 🙂

Jenna is one of my boobied, cutied faves because she is funny, has a great rack and she is pretty damn hot. (She also has a shy nipple that doesn’t get hard right away and will make you want to suck on it until it does.) And she is into chicks, which means that in my imagination, I have banged her a few times. (Okay, more than a few times. lol) When Jenna was here last, Dave and I hung out with her and took her measurements because this sexy lady from California (She talks like a Valley girl and whereas most times I would find that annoying, when this pale-skinned hottie does it, it’s a huge turn-on!) claims that she was a double-F because she didn’t fit an F. And you know what? Jenna knows her body because she was right. She’s a FF-cup. And I got to be THIS CLOSE to her as I measured her, and I am NOT complaining, because unlike my blogging cohort, Adam, I know what to do with a big pair of tits. (LOL! Sorry Adam, you asked for it, buddy.)

Plus, I taught her how to make her boobs bounce and that is the gift that keeps on giving.

So enjoy this Valentine from us to you because goddamn it, you’re special and you deserve something nice on this ridiculous chick holiday, too!

xoxoxo

Maria

OUR LATEST DISCOVERY! Fresh Tits!

January 31, 2010 by Maria

As I write this, I am both giddy and worried as I am doing the unspeakable…

SHOWING YOU A MODEL WE JUST SHOT IN PARTS UNKNOWN WHO I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE UNVEILING YET.

Yes, this is a total SCORE security breach, but I had to show you these JUGS! Fresh tit flesh from parts unknown. CUMMING SOON TO SCORELAND!

Yes, this is a total SCORE security breach, but I had to show you these JUGS! Fresh tit flesh from parts unknown. CUMMING SOON TO SCORELAND!

Whoosh. Doing bad things is soooo exciting! 🙂

I am looking over my shoulder as I post this. This material is so hot…hot as in stolen from our library without permission. (Shhh…don’t tell.)

In fact, when I asked our web guy Alex to get this image ready for me, he said, “Dude. You’re not supposed to post this. You are gonna get in so much trouble.”

My answer to that is…

SERIOUSLY?

I just can’t see the harm in showing you a pic. Just one. Just to get your attention because this girl is smoking HOT like lava!

Okay, so here’s what I know…

We shot this on location somewhere overseas. I don’t know her name yet. (They have this girl under wraps, big time!) I don’t know where we shot her since our camera crews can be anywhere at any time.

But I do know that she is in her early 20s and works in some sort of retail shop. She has full G-cups, and this is her first time modeling EVER.

I think that she looks like a cross between Linsey Dawn and Bozena and that she is the fuckin’ cat’s meow! “Supposedly” we are going to unveil a set of her sometime soon on SCORELAND, but I decided it was a better idea to steal that thunder and this pic. 😉

So enjoy this shot, guys. I broke the law for you.

xoxo

Maria



HOLY SHIT! It’s Minka!

January 29, 2010 by Maria

Alright…so there are some models that you see around our offices and you say, “Oh, it’s her,” and then you sort of stare for a second or two and that’s that. Then there are models who you see and you go, “HOLY SHIT!” and you start following her, not because you mean to, but because your feet are moving on their own accord. The former is the kind of model that Minka is.

I have seen Minka briefly a few times while I’ve worked here.

The first time was the day I came to interview at The SCORE Group all those years ago. You can imagine what it was like. I was nervous and getting my game face on while walking up to the building, and then, all of a sudden, the door swings open and out comes Minka in a robe and rollers. You CANNOT imagine what my face looked like. I think I mouthed the words “HOLY SHIT” upon the visual assault her melons launched against my eyeballs. (Which were probably popping out of my head!) Needless to say, I landed the job, but that night I distinctly remember going home, and while everyone wanted to hear about my new job, all I could do was say, “I saw this pretty, Asian woman there and her tits were bigger than my HEAD!” over and over to whoever would listen. lol

The second time I saw her was when she was here to film a few hardcore scenes a while back. I walked into the studio and was talking to a BootyLicious model when Minka came up to me and said, “You have big boobs!” and sort of perused my rack while I sat there in awe and shock and a generally dumbfounded state.

The third time was today when Dave screamed at me from the studio, across our Creative Room and said,”Maria! Come in here! Run! Fast!” And when I skedaddled over, he introduced me to Minka. Yes, I was face to face with the Asian wonder, and boy was I tongue-tied. Minka’s ginormous chesticles stunned me into silence. I think I may have said one or two semi-spaztastic things before they ushered me away from her boobliness so I wouldn’t make more of a fool of myself.

“Wow!” I thought. “I fucking blew it!”

But then I thought…”How many people get to meet Minka? Dude. I need to go in there and redeem myself. I need to let her know that I can say more than just Minka and tits and drool.” So, I summoned up some courage and some brass cojones and busted back into the studio, interrupted Dave and Elliot’s interview with Minka and did a blog video. Two good things came of that. The first is that Minka was very nice and even took a pic with me after where she rested her hand on my heinie!!!! (OMG!)

In this photo, Minka's hand is resting on my ass. LOL YES!!!

In this photo, Minka's hand is resting on my ass. LOL YES!!!

The second is that Dave spilled the beans about an upcoming ULTIMATE MINKA DVD. Yeah! Awesome, eh? (Keep an eye out!) I know you die-hard Minka fans will love it!

All I can say is, see what happens when you don’t give up? I’ll let you go now so I can go sing “The Impossible Dream” from Man of La Mancha at the top of my lungs around the office. lol Enjoy the video and the shot of Minka and I. (I look short and flat-chested next to her, which is kind of funny, but her boobs are really as big as my head, so there is no way my rack would look impressive at all next to that.)

xoxo, Maria

A Trip I Wish I’d Gone On…

January 24, 2010 by Maria

Being the newly appointed editor to the greatest magazine in the world, Voluptuous, has its perks. I get to see titties, write about them, feel them (sometimes) and get felt up by hot chicks (More often than not.) lol

Christy, Angela, Gianna, Lorna and Terry. Big Boob Paradise, indeed.

Christy, Angela, Gianna, Lorna and Terry. Big Boob Paradise, indeed.

I have no complaints about my gig. It’s actually a pretty rad job. But I do have a few heart-wrenching regrets. One of them is that I never got to meet Ines Cudna, which is probably for the best because she is so hot that my brain would blow some sort of circuit and I would probably just have ended up drooling in her presence. Another one is that I never went on a Boob Cruise. (As an experienced boater, fisher-woman and nautical genius, I would have been awesome on the Boob Cruises! Plus, I come with my own flotation devices! lol) But the biggest, most-epic regret of all time is that I didn’t go on the trip to Eleuthera,

Tits. Hands. Oil. Perfection.

Tits. Hands. Oil. Perfection.

Imagine being under this huddle o' titties!

Imagine being under this huddle o' titties!

Bahamas to be a part of the filming of Big Boob Paradise. Even typing that made me sort of sigh. You see, the line-up for the Bahamas trip was like the Olympic team of tatas. The Gold medalists of mams. The A-list of all A-lists. Christy Marks (Who is a friend and who I love to hang out with.), Terry Nova (Who is really shy, as I found out in Hungary.), Lorna Morgan (I’ve said it before! SHE BUTTERS MY BISCUITS!), Angela White (Who comments on our blog all the time. Hi Angela, queen of hotness!) and Gianna Rossi (Who could fuck me all week and twice on Sunday, she has that much sexual mojo. Whew!) If I had gone on this trip, I would have been able to die a satisfied woman. Seriously. Those five hotties, a tropical setting and barely any clothes on? Pfft. Total Excellence.

Sometimes I like to look at all the pics that were shot out there on that trip and daydream about what it must have been like to be among all those tit titans. One of my favorite shoots was the five-girl oil-a-thon that ran in the January 2008 SCORE. Talk about WOWZA! I love the shots where the girls all squeeze Christy’s oily tits. All those hands on that one set of titties…it’s a very horny scenario. And who wouldn’t love the big-tit huddle from above AND below? It’s awesome!

Hopefully we will do another Boob Cruise one day. Or even a trip to Jamaica for Big Boob Paradise 2, that I will get to go on. (I am an experienced traveler and I pack light, work hard and speak lots of languages. Jut putting that out there in case any of the big cheeses are reading this blog. *cough* TAKE ME! *cough* lol)

For now, let’s check out these pics and dream of what could have been, together.

xoxo,

Maria

Kali West: Secret Footage

January 21, 2010 by Maria

Okay, so sometimes I do things I am not supposed to.

I can’t help it.

When the “they” in charge tell me, “Maria you can’t do this and that,” and, “Maria, you absolutely cannot post this and that,” all I hear is, “Maria, we are challenging you to break the rules,” and, “Maria, we triple-dog dare you to attempt to do this. DO IT! DO IT!”

I’m bad. I’m so, so bad. It’s an innate thing. I can’t change it.

That is why when a very-pregnant Kali West was in our studios and they told me, “You most-certainly CANNOT go in there and film her preggo and going at it for the blog,” that is exactly what I did.

I grabbed my video camera, walked into the studio and shot it.

Then I ran, ran like hell and threw this tape at Lester our video editor and told him this was our little secret.

He edited it, and I have sat on it for a few months, patiently waiting for the right time to post it. (You have to time your law-breaking the right way. If you jump the gun, chances are that gun will come back and shoot you in the ass!)

But I figured since Kali is now up on SCORELAND doing a Tits & Tugs scene, this would be the opportune time to give you guys this footage. Sorry it’s dark and grainy. I couldn’t exactly ask them to light it for me, now could I? And I was afraid that if I got closer, that I would have interrupted the shoot and then there would have been hell to pay.

Regardless, here are some interesting deets for you guys.

  • Kali was four months preggo when she shot Mamazon.
  • Kali was eight-months during this clam diddling video.
  • Kali is from Florida and has a 36DD rack.
  • Kali also stars in Chesty Preggos 2. (With Lorna Morgan, who really butters my biscuits, if ya know what I mean.)

You should, if you get a chance, check out Kali’s tug scene. But for now, enjoy this secret footage that’s not, so, um, secret anymore. lol Come what may, I am always glad to break the law for you guys. 🙂

xoxo

Maria

Blonde jokes (and more)

January 18, 2010 by Elliot James
Human resources.

A blonde walks into an adult bookstore and tells the clerk, “I’d like to see your vibrators.” The clerk says, “Yes, Ma’am, please come this way!” and wiggles his finger. The lady says, “If I could come that way, I wouldn’t need to buy a vibrator.”

A doctor gives a blonde some enema kits to use at home. A week later, she comes back for a follow-up, and the doctor asks if she has been taking the enemas. The blonde says, “Well, what do you think I’ve been doing with them? Shoving them up my ass?”

A blonde is having car trouble, so she takes her car to a mechanic. The mechanic says it will be awhile and she can wait in the ice cream shop next door if she prefers. The blonde has a vanilla ice cream cone while she waits and gets some ice cream on her face. Just then, the mechanic comes into the store and says, “Hi, Miss, It looks like you blew a seal.”  The blonde says, “No, this is just ice cream.”SCORE_cartoon

Girls holding their magazines, part deux

January 3, 2010 by Elliot James
Back in Germany Annina, Annina held her first SCORE mag, May '08.

Back in Cologne, Germany, Annina held her first SCORE mag, May '08.

When I did the first “Girls holding magazines” BLOG article, Jack commented: “I agree that having a model hold up her SCORE pictorial brings everything full circle. Interesting to see that each model is smiling and proudly displaying her pictorial. I believe this brings back the human element and establishes the sense of realism. I hope you keep doing this practice. Just call me old school.”

Down under, Angela White holds Voluptuous down under.

Down under, Angela White holds Voluptuous down under.

Emily Cartwright in Preston, England with Oct. 08 V-Mag.

Emily Cartwright in Preston, England with Oct. '08 V-Mag.

For this blog, we go full circle, to use Jack’s term, with another collection of SCORELAND babes holding up their stuff with a look in their eyes that says, “I did that!”

I have to say that I’d rather see the girls in this kind of picture wearing a sexy, low-cut top or dress rather than naked. I know that sounds crazy. Yet there’s something really beyond words about a photo of a naked woman, like Brittany O’Neil here, happily holding up a magazine with a picture of her with a cock thrusting inside her from the movie SCORE Xtra #10. She looks proud. And I’m happy she’s proud.

Who holds the record for the most photos of holding up stuff?

Brittany O'Neil at SCORE with May '04 SCORE.

Brittany O'Neil at SCORE with May '04 SCORE.

Renee in the SCORE Studio.

Renee in the SCORE Studio.

It’s probably Angela White, shown above with the December ’04 Voluptuous. Since the beginning, she’s sent us photos from her crib in Australia holding mags, DVDs, her 2007 V-Mag Model of the Year award, shirts, all kinds of goodies. Hey, Angela, how many magazine covers have you been on since 2003?

The Fulsom Factor

January 2, 2010 by Maria

There are a lot of things that impressed me when I first started working for SCORE about five and a half years ago. Back in those days, I was a records clerk, going through our magazines and pushing paperwork around the office for each issue.

One of the most-impressive things was meeting the great boob Jedi Master himself, Mr. Elliot James. The man who could identify a model by just seeing a picture of her nipple and could then tell me the entire history of her career and what magazines she appeared in. (My goal is to one day have the Boob Force that Jedi James has.)

The second impressive thing at SCORE was the HUGE image library filled with about a zillion photo sets of busty babes. (Like Xanadu, but with tits!)

Check out the HUGE knockers on Cindy. Fake, but fuckin' impressive!

Check out the HUGE knockers on Cindy. Fake, but fuckin' impressive!

But, I will admit (With a sheepish grin on my face!) that

Zena Fulsom's gargantuan guns are actually prosthetic.

Zena Fulsom's gargantuan guns are actually prosthetic.

THE most impressive thing of all time were the photos of Zena and Cindy Fulsom I ran into one day in said image library.

My first thoughts were HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK!?! Followed by WHOA!

Naturally, after seeing these two ladies’ intensely immense assets, I ran to Elliot, who told me the whole history of the Fulsom sisters and their, um, what words would be best to describe them…hmmm…their GINORMOUS CANNONS. Yes, that phrase fits.

Chelsea's big hooters are actual implants that are composed of silicone and string.

Chelsea's big hooters are actual implants that are composed of polypropylene string.

You see, apparently the ladies wore prosthetic tatas. (I know, I was just as disappointed as you to find out that these jugs were removable!) And apparently, their chesticles caused such a stir that people would NOT believe that they were prosthetic. They kept insisting that they were real. (Probably bolstered by the implants that Chelsea Charms has, too. They probably figured if those things are on Chelsea and are actual implants, then the Fulsom sisters have to be real, too!)

So, I walked away with the knowledge that the Fulsom sisters a.) were not sisters and b.) were just wearing a boob costume, if you will.

A few years later, I had the luck of being sent to our studios in London to spend a week collecting sets and records to be shipped back to the States. I got to meet some of our British photogs, and as luck would have it, they took a shining to me and let me have a behind-the-scenes tour of our London Studios.

And while we were walking around the cavernous building, I nonchalantly asked about the Fulsom girls. Well, these lovely gents gave me the entire rundown on how the prosthetic breasts were created and how it took over 12 hours to attach them to the girls for the shoot. Apparently, the breasts were made by the same man who does all the prosthetic work for the productions of the Elephant Man around the world. (Just a fun fact for you!) And it took this gentleman many, many, many sets of prosthetic tits before they got a pair to actually attach to the model and not crack and fall to pieces once they were on due to gravity.

I appreciated the story and thought that was it and went back to work. But then, a few hours later, the Brits came back and told me to come along because they had a surprise for me. We walked through all these passages and halls (Our London studios are HUGE!) and finally arrived at a room where, once inside, they presented me with THE ACTUAL PROSTHETIC TITS worn by Zena Fulsom! (Even as I type this, I am literally LOL’ing.) You can imagine how impressive these huge, latex knockers were. So, I did what I imagine ANY of YOU would have done in that situation…I put them on. lol

I put them on and walked around for a bit, laughing and bumping into people with them. (They were surprisingly heavier than I thought they would be.) Then they showed me footage of the prosthetic tatas being put on to Zena. According to them, no one had seen that footage since it was shot. And to this day, no one has seen it since! I felt honored to be given a backstage pass to such a quirky piece of SCORE history.

And that, my friends, is my story about the Fulsom girls. And although Elliot James may be our resident Boob Jedi Master, he has never seen said footage or felt the actual Fulsom falsies…and I have! So, I kinda feel like I have one up on him. LOL! (Sorry Elliot!)

I may have said it before, but I will say it again…I love my job. Thanks for letting me share a little piece of my SCORE history with you.

xoxo

Maria

The magic of the girl-next-door

December 30, 2009 by Maria

Here in the land of the plentiful bosoms, we use certain terms to describe the ladies we adore. Words like BUSTY and SUPERNATURAL and PLUMPER are thrown around the office to categorize the countless of hot models we get to see every day. We will say a girl is a SCORE GIRL or a V-GIRL and that she has HANGERS, SUCKLERS, FLOPPERS or PERKIES.

Well, today I started thinking about the term GIRL-NEXT-DOOR.

Carrie Lynn is one of my favorite old-school girl-next-door models.

Carrie Lynn is one of my favorite old-school girl-next-door models.

It’s a term that we use for only certain girls that come our

Ana is the perfect Latina girl-next-door. Oh, Ana, won't you be my neighbor?

Ana is the perfect Latina girl-next-door. Oh, Ana, won't you be my neighbor?

way and it just so happens to describe my favorite kind of model. You see, the girl-next-door is a special breed of busty. She is unbelievably stacked, but she possesses this certain innocence and youthful vigor that makes her more approachable. You can relate to her. She probably likes sports. She probably likes to go bowling. She’s really pretty but not in an “I’m so fucking hot that I’d never give you the time of day, loser!” kind of way. A chick that an average Joe (Or Jane, like most of us are…) could walk up to and ask for her name and number. She probably drinks beer. She probably likes the

Tera had a phenomenal rack and was just an average girl who had never modeled. She was here and then she was gone, and just like that, she never modeled again.

Tera had a phenomenal rack and was just an average girl who had never modeled. She was here and then she was gone, and just like that, she never modeled again.

same video games you do. She might have the kind of hooters that could launch a thousand boners, but she is

To me, Christy Marks is the perfect example of that sweet, girl-next-door. She was so shy when we met that she called me Ma'am before I convinced her to call me Maria. (Even then, she only called me Miss Maria.)

To me, Christy Marks is the perfect example of that sweet, girl-next-door. She was so shy when we met that she called me Ma'am before I convinced her to call me Maria. (Even then, she only called me Miss Maria.)

still a girl who could literally live next door. (And I am pretty sure that all of us wish that we really did live next door to some of these, too.)

Some of the greatest V-Mag legends have been girls-next-door. Girls like the great Carrie Lynn who come to us straight from their college campuses, looking to make some extra tuition money. Or girls like Ana, whose teen tatas make me smile every time I see them. Then you have girls like Tera Cox, who showed up, wowed us with her rack and then disappeared, never to be heard from again. (Whoever HER neighbor is is a lucky, lucky bastard.)

But the one girl who oozes that girl-next-door charm that will melt your heart is Christy Marks. Christy is the all-American sweetie pie. She was so approachable yet shy when we first met that she wouldn’t even look me in the eye. (Which was perfectly all right with me. I was too busy ogling her tits to care. I remember talking to her tits for a while and then remembering to try and maintain eye contact. lol) Even now that she has gone from shy teen debut to hot and freaky XXX porn princess, Christy remains the girl-next-door. It’s a quality that never fades and thank goodness for that.

I don’t know about you guys, but I prefer my stacked girls that way.

🙂

xoxo

Maria