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Life in the (Porn) Movies: An editor’s tale

November 11, 2012 by Maria

“Sometimes I act in porno movies.”

Whenever I say that, I laugh because the immediate reaction I get is, “YOU’VE BEEN IN PORNOS?” followed by what I like to think is about five seconds where the person in front of me imagines me naked and doing all sorts of things.

That is followed by a brief glimmer of disappointment when I say, “I am not a naked actress.”

Because I am not. I am not even a good non-naked actress, to be honest. I just happen to be at the right place at the right time when our studio needs extras to play a part in a XXX movie. Granted, I took some drama classes in high school. I do not think they prepared me to be in naughty films.

To date, I have been in a handful of our DVDs, and sometimes, when I want to laugh, I will watch my awkward and sometimes funny appearances. My three favorites?

1) Stacked Street Sluts #2

This was my “first time” on camera in a room full of awesome and very hot chicks. I got to hang out with Alexis Silver. She was wearing a butt plug. She went on to do anal. I went on to play the part of a madame who was selling Alexis’ snug asshole to a customer. I was nervous. It was evident. It went down in history as one of the funniest moments of my XXX film life.

2) My Big Plump Wedding:

I played a wedding guest in this movie and it was by far the most-fun wedding I have ever been to. There were so many XL Girls stars running around, I was pretty much losing my mind. Plus, I got to wear a dress and pretend I was in a church. I don’t know if you guys know this or not, but the idea of porn in a church is pretty hilarious.

3) K-JUGS:

I played a behind-the-scenes boxing coach to Renee Ross and Samantha 38G, pumping them up and having them box practically naked for me. I really enjoyed it. I box in real life, so it was pretty awesome to play-fight with these ladies. Also, I very much enjoy Samantha 38G. She is very hilarious. Renee Ross and I are good gal pals, so I liked working with her, too. Somewhere out there on the cutting room floor is never-before-seen footage of me jumping rope with them. It will probably never see the light of day.

So there you have it. There are other fine films I have appeared in, but these three are my faves. If you happen to have a copy of any of them, please check me out.

The greatest nipples ever? We just might’ve found them!

November 10, 2012 by Dave

Jenna's nipples are three-quarters of an inch long. She knows because she measured them.

The thing about nipples is, you never know when a great pair is going to show up. Big tits–SCORE-sized tits–you can see from a mile away, but nipples? There is simply no great nipples (or big nipples) to big tits correlation. It hurts me to say that but it’s true.

Which brings me to Jenna Covelli. Jenna is not a SCORE model. She has very nice breasts, but they’re not even close to being SCORE-sized. What Jenna does have, however, is a pair of the greatest nipples ever seen.

“They’re three quarters of an inch long,” Jenna told me. How does she know? “I measured them myself. People have asked me if I have nipple implants. I just laugh. I didn’t think there was such a thing as a nipple implant.”

Jenna is 50 years old. She’s a divorcee and former corporate sales suit from California. She’s blonde and pretty and sexy and a total MILF. I said, “Bring her in!” even before I saw those nipples. But then I saw them. And get this: Jenna usually doesn’t wear a bra.

“I’ve probably caused a few accidents,” she said. “I like the attention I get.”

Jenna’s getting a lot of attention right now at 50PlusMILFs.com, where her first on-camera fuck recently went live. Yeah, she’s very good at giving head and fucking. But those nipples…

Unbelievable!

 

 

 

 

Join the Voluptuous party and vote!

November 9, 2012 by Elliot James

The voting results are tabulated with this high tech calculator guarded by Renee's cleavage 24 hours a day 7 days a week until the numbers are all in.

Our party symbol is not a party animal: an elephant or a donkey.

Our party symbol is an hourglass figure full of curves and dips.

Our party color is not red or blue.

Our party color is all the colors a woman’s skin can be.

We promise no dirty tricks or break-ins…except in hardcore scenes.

Our T Party stands for TITS.

We endorse Voluptuous-care.

Join the Voluptuous Party and vote for the 2012 Voluptuous Newcomer of the Year, Model of the Year, Plumper of the Year, Ass of the Year, Pussy of the Year and XXX Model of the Year.

You can vote at SCORELAND if you’re a member (there are no lines) or you can vote using this ballot. Vote by email or mail your vote. Just vote and let your voice be heard. Those who do not vote cannot legitimately protest the outcome. You’ve got to be in it for your favorite to win it.

Renee Ross has won Model of the Year two years running. She’s great at winning erections. Who will win this year? Will Renee make it win #3?

Our candidates do not put their foot in their mouths. Just their nipples and fingers.

Our goals: to find the best, the sexiest and the biggest all-natural girls and photograph them.

That is the mission statement of the Voluptuous Party.

Join the Party!

I approve this message.

Read the rules, study the candidates carefully and vote!

 

A soft Rain cummin’

November 7, 2012 by Elliot James

Jolie Rain: army vet, gamer, tank commander.

It’s been a few years since bouncy girl-next-door Jolie Rain bounced her away across SCORELAND and other TSG sites. Where has she been? What has she been doing?

Serving her country.

Jolie went to an army recruitment office, enlisted and went to Iraq, where she served for a couple of years.

Jolie served her country well, and now she’s back in the States and back at SCORE starting tomorrow. Instead of jumping jacks, the redhead from Cajun country will be jumping something else.

She’s brought her stacked rack back from Iraq and she’s ready for a tit attack.

And Jolie’s tits are bigger. That’s always a good thing here. Bounce, baby, bounce!

I could definitely see a nose-art pin-up of Jolie painted on a military plane. But they don’t do that anymore.

Click on her rack and welcome her back.

 

It’s Erection Day! Jack early, jack often!

November 6, 2012 by Dave

Newcomer Charley J. Matthews gets my vote.

Today is that day. You know what day I’m talking about, especially if you’re from the United States. It’s that day you’ve been hearing about for the past four months and don’t even want to think about. That’s why you came to SCORELAND, not to read more about that day but to avoid that day.

So I’m going to help you. I’m going to provide a respite from the noise. I’m going to tell you that no matter what happens tonight, there’s always tomorrow. And in these parts, yesterday, today and tomorrow always mean big tits.

Tahnee plans to celebrate Erection Day by inviting an erection into her ass!

Yesterday, newcomer Charley J. Matthews debuted at SCORELAND. Charley is from Wisconsin, and I could tell you what’s going on in Wisconsin today but…hey, like I said, I’m not going there. The Green Bay Packers are from Wisconsin. Cheese is from Wisconsin. Charley is from Wisconsin. Paul Ry…nope, I’m not going there.

Kelly and Lana ask, "Can't we all just get along?"

Today, Tahnee Taylor, a 40something divorcee with big naturals, is new at XLGirls.com. Tomorrow, Tahnee gets fucked in her ass. Tahnee told me, “I’m a shy girl, but I love getting fucked in my ass.” You know, these days, with all the political ads on TV and all the promises, a voter can feel like he’s getting fucked in the…oooops, sorry. I promised I wouldn’t go there.

And tomorrow at SCOREVideos.com, a classic girl-girl scene featuring bosom buddies Lana Lotts and Kelly Madison. There’s nothing more American than two hot, busty chicks getting it on with each other. Lana is a blonde. Kelly is a brunette. And if a blonde and a brunette can get along and even kiss and suck each others’ tits, even people of different political persuasions can…fuck! I almost went there again!

Happy Erection Day. Oh, by the way, voting for the SCORE and Voluptuous awards is going on now at SCORELAND. So far, there have been no reports of voter suppression.

Joana, I love you…

November 5, 2012 by Maria

Joana looked amazing in 2006.

Joana looks even more amazing in 2012.

There is a great song from the 80s by Kool and the Gang called “Joanna.”

The lyrics go something like:

Joanna, I love you.
You’re the one,
The one for me.

I’m in love, and I won’t lie,
She’s my girl and always on my mind.
She gives me her love and a feeling that’s right.
Never lets me down, especially at night.

Aren’t those lyrics romantic? Aren’t they full of love and adoration? Well, right up to the part where they sing, Never lets me down, especially at night.

That part sounds suspiciously as if the Joanna they are referring to can give a guy wood throughout the evening hours.

And that is exactly how I feel about Joana Bliss, who came back to us after a six-year hiatus. She looks so goddamn foxy that I can’t help but sing.

And yes, she can also give boob lovers wood all night long.

Joana came back to us and she came back strong, and who doesn’t love a good comeback story?

Who doesn’t love when a model comes out of retirement and comes back, (tits) swinging?

And to be perfectly honest, Joana is one of my favorite comebacks of all time.

She is just so damn beautiful. If the years have been kind to our comeback queens, they have been overly kind to Joana, who looks EVEN BETTER than when she first posed for our lensmen.

Her breasts hang a little lower and her areolae are a little more distended, but overall, Joana looks pretty spectacular. She has really grown into her curves, getting softer in all the right places.

I, for one, cannot WAIT to see more of her at SCORELAND and in V-mag. You guys should be on the lookout for her upcoming comeback pictorial in V-mag. I promise you that it will make you want to sing, too.

Enjoy these two pics of Joana. She’s the one, the one for me.

xoxox,

Maria

Your favorite racks on your favorite racks. January ’13 SCORE is hot off the presses

November 4, 2012 by Elliot James

They have the right to bare arms. And breasts. And butts. And lady bits.

There are no excuses for not voting.

This week is the most-popular week of the month for newsstand and magazine shop managers and staff.

It’s when the trucks roll up and drop off the latest issue of SCORE magazine.

This month, it’s the January ’13 edition, and you veteran readers know what that means.

It’s election time! Time to vote for 2012 Newcomer of the Year, Model of the Year, Hardcore Performer of the Year and the Big-Boob Hall of Fame.

This year’s ballot is on page 19. Fill it out and mail it in or vote by email for all four awards.

Every voice counts, and I’m grateful that we all have the opportunity to vote for our faves. In some countries, the government picks the winning big-bust models.

Pick up your copy (with a free DVD inside) today at your favorite store or get it direct from eBoobStore. A digital version for tablets, phones and desktops is also available.

Kissin’ Cousins 2

November 3, 2012 by Elliot James

I was going over the new SCOREVideos.com posting of new model Sophia Jewel. Deja vu hit. Who did she remind me of? Not in body or boobs but in face?

Lacey Legends.

Sophia reminded me of big-boobed body-builder and lap dancer Lacey, now retired. (Sophia is a really hot piece of ass in her fuck scene, by the way. Just throwing that out there.)

So I went through SCORELAND and pulled a few others who reminded me of another SCORE or V-mag Girl. I did something similar in a Blog in November, 2009.

And this is who I came up with.

Dolly and Crystal Gunns (who sound alike, too)

Micky Bells and Kelly Kay

Aspen and Slone Ryder

Sabrina Linn and Morgan Leigh

Sophia Jewel

Lacey Legends

Sabrina Linn

Morgan Leigh

Slone Ryder

Aspen

Kelly Kay

Micky Bells

Crystal Gunns

Dolly

Roxi Red’s unbelievable, hard to imagine, Bras-That-Are-Five-Sizes-Too-Small Show

November 2, 2012 by Dave

The bra Roxi started out wearing during our interview did its job. But the other three bras she tried on where completely overmatched.

Today at SCORELAND, one of the most-unusual interviews I’ve ever conducted during my 11 years at SCORE goes live. It’s with Roxi Red, who on Thursday was seen fucking and sucking on video for the first time. The subject is, “Bra Show.”

Now, I have to admit something: I didn’t know what I was in for when I walked into the studio the other day. Basically, the way the whole deal started was, the studio manager asked me if I wanted to interview Roxi prior to her first hardcore scene. I said, “Sure.” I had professional and personal reasons for wanting to interview Roxi.

Professional reasons: I figured SCORELAND members would enjoy it, and Roxi doing her first XXX was newsworthy.

Personal reason: I’d get to spend part of my afternoon staring at Roxi’s tits.

Then the studio manager asked me if the interview should have a theme. I said, “Yes. Bra show.”

Roxi has K-cup naturals. A bra show with her always figures to be a monumental event.

So I left the rest of the planning to the studio. Then, shortly before the interview, I walked into the studio. Roxi sat down on a bed with three bras next to her. The interview began.

What I didn’t know was that none of the bras fit.

Didn’t even come close to fitting.

Usually when we do a bra show, a few of the bras fit.

Nope. Not these. One of them was a DDD-cup, I think. The other one couldn’t have been bigger than a C-cup. Like I said, Roxi’s tits are K-cups. A K-cup bra is five cup-sizes larger than a DDD-cup bra.

So, what was supposed to be a bra show ended up being a “The Roxi and Her Stud Trying to Shoehorn Her Tits Into Way-Too-Small Bras Show.”

Other than the bra she started out wearing, Roxi did not try on a single bra that even came close to fitting.

Go ahead. Watch the video at SCORELAND. Then let me know if this was a good thing. Because even though I enjoyed it (most of the time, 90% Roxi tits were exposed), sometimes I’m swayed by being in such close proximity to the tits in question.

Honestly, I still haven’t gotten over it.

 

Pick-up lines that guys lay on SCORE Girls

November 1, 2012 by Elliot James

“Get outta my dreams. Get into my car.”

“I believe in miracles, you sexy thing.”

“You’re the cutest thing I ever did see. I really love your peaches, I wanna shake your tree.”

“Hey, hey, mama, said the way you move, gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove.”

Pick-up lines, aka ice-breakers, can either work because the lines are so dumb and cheesy that they make a girl laugh or fall totally flat because she thinks it’s an obnoxious approach.

It doesn’t matter if you made it up or you stole it from a popular song lyric like the ones above. Me, I think the lyrics in songs are the all-time cheesiest and sleaziest, but I think they worked for the guys in Led Zeppelin.

Most of the SCORE Girls we’ve talked to over the years say to not bother with pick-up lines and just be yourself.

Here’s another round of the worst pick-up-lines SCORE Girls say they’ve gotten. And after your check them out, check out a new set of Anjii Ross pix at SCORELAND.

Melissa Manning: "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Morgan Page: "You remind me of my pinky toe 'cause I know one day I'm going to bang you on my coffee table."

Sadie Blooms: "Listen, I'm not good with pick-up lines so what pick-up line should I use to interest you?"

Anjii Ross: "Do you wash your clothes in Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants."