Here in the land of the plentiful bosoms, we use certain terms to describe the ladies we adore. Words like BUSTY and SUPERNATURAL and PLUMPER are thrown around the office to categorize the countless of hot models we get to see every day. We will say a girl is a SCORE GIRL or a V-GIRL and that she has HANGERS, SUCKLERS, FLOPPERS or PERKIES.
Well, today I started thinking about the term GIRL-NEXT-DOOR.
Carrie Lynn is one of my favorite old-school girl-next-door models.
It’s a term that we use for only certain girls that come our
Ana is the perfect Latina girl-next-door. Oh, Ana, won't you be my neighbor?
way and it just so happens to describe my favorite kind of model. You see, the girl-next-door is a special breed of busty. She is unbelievably stacked, but she possesses this certain innocence and youthful vigor that makes her more approachable. You can relate to her. She probably likes sports. She probably likes to go bowling. She’s really pretty but not in an “I’m so fucking hot that I’d never give you the time of day, loser!” kind of way. A chick that an average Joe (Or Jane, like most of us are…) could walk up to and ask for her name and number. She probably drinks beer. She probably likes the
Tera had a phenomenal rack and was just an average girl who had never modeled. She was here and then she was gone, and just like that, she never modeled again.
same video games you do. She might have the kind of hooters that could launch a thousand boners, but she is
To me, Christy Marks is the perfect example of that sweet, girl-next-door. She was so shy when we met that she called me Ma'am before I convinced her to call me Maria. (Even then, she only called me Miss Maria.)
still a girl who could literally live next door. (And I am pretty sure that all of us wish that we really did live next door to some of these, too.)
Some of the greatest V-Mag legends have been girls-next-door. Girls like the great Carrie Lynn who come to us straight from their college campuses, looking to make some extra tuition money. Or girls like Ana, whose teen tatas make me smile every time I see them. Then you have girls like Tera Cox, who showed up, wowed us with her rack and then disappeared, never to be heard from again. (Whoever HER neighbor is is a lucky, lucky bastard.)
But the one girl who oozes that girl-next-door charm that will melt your heart is Christy Marks. Christy is the all-American sweetie pie. She was so approachable yet shy when we first met that she wouldn’t even look me in the eye. (Which was perfectly all right with me. I was too busy ogling her tits to care. I remember talking to her tits for a while and then remembering to try and maintain eye contact. lol) Even now that she has gone from shy teen debut to hot and freaky XXX porn princess, Christy remains the girl-next-door. It’s a quality that never fades and thank goodness for that.
I don’t know about you guys, but I prefer my stacked girls that way.
Not to be confused with breastosis, breastnosis is a very real condition and is being studied in university research labs. Scientists at the University of Wellington in New Zealand discovered that guys look at tits longer than any other body part. Few glances were directed at the arms, lower legs and feet. Subjects were presented with six images of the same woman, digitally altered to increase or decrease the size of her bust, waist and hips. Using cameras and mirrors to measure tiny eye movements, the scientists recorded which areas men looked at first, the number of times they looked and how long their gaze lasted.
“Men spent consistently more time looking at the breasts and made more fixations upon them than other regions,” the researchers reported. Let me tell you, if these scientists would just go to SCORELAND, they could save a lot of cash on their experiments.
And from the SCORELAND files, an example of brainfreeze caused directly by the power of breastnosis. In Pasadena, California, a rookie policeman groped a woman’s breast during a traffic stop but was caught because he used his own cell phone camera to take photos of himself doing it. The 22 year-old officer stopped a female driver, then told her and her female passenger to expose themselves or he would jail them for drunken driving. Using his own camera, he took a photo with his hand on on the driver’s boob. He was charged with fourth-degree sex offense, second-degree assault and two other misdemeanors. A second woman came forward with the same story.
In this clip, the mindboggling power of breastnosis is captured on film. Watch as the subject’s eye bulge from breastnosis while he’s looking at Daphne Rosen’s chest.
She may not smile much but her boobs look happy to us.
The morning I checked the Model of the Decade contest and there she was, popping up in all her glory, Bea Flora. Poland’s pride. The fifth most popular SCORELAND Girl since 2000. I thought she’d be fifth of the five because even though Bea’s beautiful and has a smokin’ busty body, Bea rarely smiles in her layouts, even to the extent of looking glum or unhappy, which is a misperception (I think the not smiling is a Euro-chick thing), but an ultra-serious expression tends to have a subliminal effect on the viewer. Now we are down to four and it’s up to you, SCORELANDER. Who will be voted #4 tomorrow? Nicole Peters? Christy Marks? Merilyn Sakova? Or Karina Hart?
The contest is wrapping up the way most people thought it would end, and the way things are heading, according to most of the predictors, it looks like the final two will be…yeah, you guessed ’em. We’ll know soon enough on Friday morning when the winner and #2 pop-up.
Our CEO John Fox observed the other day that out of the top ten, only two girls have done hardcore (Christy Marks and Karina Hart only in one tit-fuck and handjob scene in Busty Riding Academy which some people might not count as XXX) while Ines and Angela have only done girl-girl. And Sharday and Bea Flora barely opened their legs.
Now Christy has done a lot of XXX the past year but there is something about her that just doesn’t bring the title “porn star” to mind. She’s more the girl-next-door who loves fucking on camera. So being a big-boobed SCORE or Voluptuous porn star like Daphne Rosen or April McKenzie didn’t have much of an impact on a girl’s popularity, at least in this contest. Deduce from these facts what you will, Watson. It’s been more than interesting, considering some of the SCORELAND member poll results.
I am collecting anecdotes, memories and personal accounts from Boob Cruisers (both models and passengers) from any of the five Cruises (1994, ’95, ’97, ’98 and 2000) for use in a future issue of SCORE. Did you sail on any of the Boob Cruises?
Fan photo shoots were kinda popular.
Your accounts can be as short or as long as you wish. Memories, situations, fun stories, adventures, something that created lasting friendships or changed a person’s life or personality…anything you think readers will enjoy.
If you attended any of the Cruises and are interested in telling your tale, whether a few sentences or a few paragraphs, please phone me at 305-662-5959 Ext 237 or email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org and thanks!
Maybe Tiger wouldn't have strayed if his caddy looked like Bobbi. Then again, maybe he would've fucked his caddy.
Elliot and I were sitting around at lunch talking about Tiger Woods and how women are attracted to men with power, fame and intelligence while men couldn’t give a shit about any of those things. All they want is tits, ass and pussy. Obviously in Tiger’s case, even face isn’t so important because several of the women he fucked–oh, sorry, allegedly fucked–are baggers compared to his wife. One of them, this blonde skank who keeps appearing all over TV, had me thinking, “He risked his marriage to fuck that?”
Would Tiger Woods finally fuck a black woman if Kiki Carter was lining up a putt on the 18th green?
But for Tiger, it was all about getting laid. I’m guessing that blonde skank sucked his cock down to the knob until she gagged, was into facials (because Tiger couldn’t risk cumming in her pussy) and let him fuck her ass. You know, all the things that either 1.) His wife wouldn’t let him do because those are girlfriend things, not wife things; or 2.) Tiger didn’t want to do because she’s the mother of his children. No. 2 is Elliot’s take on the matter.
But I’m getting away from the point. There are female politicians (including some very high-profile ones) all over Washington who I wouldn’t fuck with your dick, and their power and fame do nothing to make them more attractive to me. But the male version of these women–and they’re all over D.C., too–gets all the pussy he wants. Why? Because women are attracted to power and intelligence. I mean, really, Salman Rushdie, the author, married supermodel Padma Lakshmi, the host of TV’s Top Chef, in what must be the biggest looks mismatch ever (although Maria thinks that honor goes to Anna-Nicole Smith and The Crypt Keeper).
Now, I’m not saying Tiger is a bad-looking guy, but let’s face it: If he wasn’t the best golfer in the world, he wouldn’t be bagging super-models and 14 party-ho skanks. I mean, I don’t see any guys lining up to fuck Lorena Ochoa.
A SCORE Christmas card by The Man, Otis Sweat, from 1996!
This weekend on SCORELAND, a blonde, slim-n-stacked superhottie gets the shaft. Up the ass. A busty South American babydoll meets us in erotic city Buenos Aries. And a slim-n-stacked Seattle SCORE Girl named Lillian Faye plays with a sticky toy in the SCORE Studio.
Paola on the loose in the streets of Buenos Aries.
Paola Rios of Paraguay doesn’t speak English, but that’s no problem. Her video this weekend is subtitled in English so you can hear her sexy voice in her native tongue. “I always love to see my photos on SCORELAND,” Paola tells us. “I had so much fun when you came to meet me in Buenos Aries. It can be very difficult to find the magazine in stores in South America, so I’m happy that guys anywhere can see me on SCORELAND.”
SCORE Man E.B. says, “Paola Rios is my favorite SCORE girl currently modeling. The images of her neatly sculpting her bush drove me wild.” K.D. raved that “Paola has a great smile, a tremendous ass and big, beautifully-shaped natural breasts.”
Paola Rios brings her natural bazonkas to the show this weekend!
Shyla Stylez is one of the hottest sex toys to hit SCORE in the last two years. She’s like Pam Anderson…only hornier, hotter and smuttier. Holds nothing back. Delivers it all. When she makes an “Anal Reservation” for Sunday, Shyla can be guaranteed the best seat in the house. With a boner on it.
Shyla gets a big cock delivery in every hole this weekend.
Shyla’s got it all. At 108 luscious pounds, her 40-22-32 figure and 34DD-cups turn cocks into steel pipes everywhere she goes. Despite her name, Shyla is anything but shy. “I’m just a girl from a small town in Canada who wants to make it big in the porn world,” Shyla told us. She succeeded.
100% slim, stacked and ready for the high, hard one.
Cherry Brady’s birthday is today, as SCORELANDER Dino pointed out. But I had a reason for not adding Cherry to the week’s birthday BLOG. To celebrate this momentous occasion, when Mr. and Mrs. Brady gave the world a rare gift, let’s gather ’round the Yule log so I can tell a very Brady Xmas story.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
It was Thursday, September 2, 2004, and we were shooting B.L.O.W. (Busty Ladies of Oil Wrestling) in the SCORE Studio. You’ve seen B.L.O.W., right? In fact, you should own the DVD on sale in the eBoobStore if you want to get on my good side. For those of you who don’t own it or have never seen B.L.O.W. on SCORELAND, Cherry, Annie Swanson, Angela White and Brandy Talore were the oil wrestlers, and they destroyed any female wrestlers before or since then. Dave was the ringside color man, and I was the ref. (Which I found out a few hours before the match.) It was the greatest wrasslin’ show I ever witnessed, let alone participated in, in my life. Cherry, Angela, Annie and Brandy oiled and rolling around on a mat? Hooter heaven, friends. But what you may not know was that we had an uninvited guest fast approaching from the Atlantic Ocean. A big, fat, Category 4 massive monster of a guest who didn’t fuck around. Hurricane Frances. Set to nail America right in the groin: the cock-shaped state of Florida. And fear was starting to set in.
Not only did we have to shoot B.L.O.W., a major project, but we had to batten down the SCORE building and everything in our office. And get the SCORE websites ready and up before the weekend arrived. And get some of the print mags off to the printers. And get the girls safely home before the hurricane nailed Florida. Home for Angela meant Australia! Controlled chaos? High anxiety? The understatement of our careers. But we did it! Angela’s jet left for Sydney and so did Brandy’s, right before Miami International Airport shut down. Florida local Annie drove safely home in time. And Cherry? She weathered the storm here, hunkered down in her hotel near the SCORE building. On September 4, 2004, Frances the bitch battered the east coast of Florida, downgraded to a Category 2, a still very powerful and dangerous hurricane. But not powerful enough to beat the Busty Ladies of Oil Wrestling. And that, kiddos, is my very Brady Xmas story.
Happy Birthday, Cherry, and Merry Titmas, Cherry, Brandy, Angela and Annie.
What? You don't have the B.L.O.W. DVD on your shelf?!
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays…whatever, Blog readers. I have a gift for you. Big, new, natural tits, unwrapped. They belong to Tatiana who has never gotten nude on camera anywhere. I’m not going to say much about Tatiana, other than that she’s only 4’10”, is really cute and has a pair of C-A-N-S! The video says more than I could possible say. Of course, she’s coming soon to SCORELAND and XLGIRLS.COM, but I couldn’t wait to see her naked and stormed into the studio, camera in hand. Enjoy. Jack if you want. Don’t worry about that “he knows if you’ve been bad or good” stuff. It’s too late for that. Have a great holiday.–Dave
Natalie Fiore gets wet thinking about all the votes she’s been getting.
Nicole Peters’ rack provides full coverage.
Things are looking up for Anna Song in “Best of the Decade”
Sharday would be tickled pink if she won.
Christy Mark did this.
Ines Cudna looks beautiful even when she’s upside-down.
Putting in a plug for Merilyn Sakova.
Angela White shows off her Top 10 credentials.
With a big rally in the final hours, Angela White squeezed past Brandy Talore last night to earn a spot in the Final 10 in the “Best of the Decade” countdown at SCORELAND. For all the early controversy about augmented and black ‘n’ stacked models being eliminated before many of us (including me) thought they should have been eliminated, the girls who remain are pretty representative of the best new big-boobed discoveries of the decade that’s winding to a close.
Angela White: 2008 V-Mag Model of the Year. All-around cutie. Was a big hit with all the girls at the Big-Boob Paradise shoot. Loves being a SCORE and V-Girl.
Merilyn Sakova: 2005 Newcomer of the Year, 2006 SCORE Model of the Year, two-time runner-up for SCORE Model of the Year.
Sharday: 2001 Newcomer of the Year and 2002 Model of the Year in SCORE and Voluptuous. And she’s on the verge of being inducted into the SCORE Big-Boob Hall of Fame.
Christy Marks: 2007 Newcomer of the Year, 2008 Model of the Year. Fucks a lot. Took it up the ass just for you.
Nicole Peters: 2003 SCORE and Voluptuous Newcomer of the Year, 2004 Voluptuous Model of the Year.
Karina Hart: 2008 SCORE and Voluptuous Newcomer of the Year, frontrunner for 2009 SCORE and Voluptuous Model of the Year.
Rounding out the list: Natalie Fiore, whose recent growth spurt puts her in elite company among naturals; Ines Cudna, one of the most beautiful SCORE models ever; Bea Flora, ditto; and Anna Song, a super-sexy natural who…well, yes, I’m surprised she’s hung around this long, but then again, there isn’t a girl in the competition I’d rather fuck.
When this whole thing started 90 days ago, I expected Karina, Nicole, Christy, Sharday and Merilyn to be in the final 10, so all in all, considering the long grind and the admittedly complicated voting procedure (in which you vote daily to eliminate a girl), that’s not bad.
Now remember: The rules stay the same for the final 10. Today, you’re voting on who should be No. 10, so do NOT vote for your favorite. Vote for the girl who you think should be No. 10. Same for Nos. 9, 8, 7, 6, all the way down to the Final Two showdown on December 31, when again, you’ll vote for the girl you think SHOULDN’T WIN.
Who do I think is going to win? I’m not saying. I’m also not going to say anything about recent voting trends, even though they are very interesting. When this whole thing started, the votes were spread out among 100 girls, but now they’re concentrated among only 10, and trends change by the hour. So make sure you vote every day (you must be a SCORELAND member to vote).
I do know this: Whoever wins, we’ll be proud to name her “Best of the Decade.”