SCORELAND wishes this week’s birthday girls a fun day, hopefully in their birthday suits. May they get exactly what they want for their birthdays and have no problems exchanging their gifts for what they really want!
There’s a lot of voting going on these days in these parts. First, there’s “The Best of the Decade,” which is now down to 39 girls. There were many surprise eliminations early on, but a lot of big names (and very big racks) remain: Karina Hart, Renee Ross, Christy Marks, Sharday, Merilyn Sakova, Nadine Jansen, Angela White, Nicole Peters, Natalie Fiore, and on and on. Uh-oh. Did I just put a bullseye on those girls?
It’s also awards time, and voting has kicked off at SCORELAND (and in SCORE and Voluptuous magazines) for the annual awards. Over at V-Mag, Ashley Sage Ellison and Renee Ross are leading the voting for Newcomer of the Year; Christy Marks, Karina Hart, Janet Jade and Natalie Fiore are very tight in the running for Model of the Year; and Maria Moore and Samantha have a good chance of keeping Sapphire from winning Plumper of the Year for the fourth straight year.
The SCORE voting is fascinating and reflects a split between online voters and magazine voters. For Newcomer, the magazine guys like Ashley Sage Ellison and Faith, while the online guys like Eva Notty, then Ashley and Faith. For Model of the Year, the magazine guys like Karina Hart and Christy with Minka slightly behind, while the online guys are rolling up a runaway for Karina Hart (Crystal Gunns is the only girl who’s close). And for the Hall of Fame, the magazine guys have Cindy Cupps and Sharday running tit-to-tit with Casey James about a bra length behind, while the online guys have Autumn-Jade in the lead over Sharday and Casey with Cindy not even in the picture.
Of course, we’re still very early in the voting. And if you haven’t voted yet, vote now!
Good day, boob lovers!
I have a quick, little story about what I like to call, Seeing Boobs on the Sneak. (Maybe some of you call it being a peeping Tom. Or, if we need to be fancy, Voyeurism. I call it Seeing Boobs on the Sneak because it just feels right.)
But on with the story…
So there is this lady who lives next door to me…let’s call her Cougarella. She is in her 40s and in decent shape. She has these huge bazoombas. She’s augmented. She has an Amber Lynn Bach-type of body. She isn’t too hard too look at, that’s for sure. I bump into her in the mornings when I am getting my paper or when I am on my way out the door to come to SCORE. She is always outside on the front lawn watering her flowers and she is ALWAYS wearing something SCANDALOUS. I’m talking about teeny-tiny shirts and shorts or little, cotton dresses that show off the goods like a display case. It’s kind of Mrs. Robinson-ish, if you ask me. She flirts with everyone and everything in the neighborhood, and we all sorta flirt back. Dave would probably call her a Divorcee On The Prowl in 40Something magazine, for sure. She is, for the most part, the neighborhood MILF and probably the most-discussed lady on the block. The women hate her. (Not me, since I am neither married, nor have children, so she poses no threat to my existence.) The men LOVE her. And the teenagers find excuses to congregate near the end of her driveway to sneak a peek at her, um, peaks. lol
So, the other day I was BBQing in my backyard. I want to put that out there right away…I WAS IN MY BACKYARD, and I happened to be staring at my fence while I flipped some steaks. That’s when I saw her. Cougarella. Right through the slats in the fence posts. Naked as the day she was born. In a gardener’s hat, gloves and those hideous Croc shoes that should be banned. But the rest of her was naked. NAKED! I kinda went, WTF?! But I couldn’t look away. WHO COULD LOOK AWAY? She was humming and trimming some shrubbery and every time she moved, her tits would sway. It was a sight to behold.
Unlike my usual stare-like-a-pervert antics, I managed to tear my eyes away from Cougarella’s display and remind myself to plant trees, tall ones, along my fence. But her display didn’t end there. You see, my bathroom window faces her house, and a few days later when I was in the shower, as I lathered up my hair, I happened to look out the window, and lo and behold! There she was again! This time, she was in her bedroom and her windows were wide open and she was changing. She didn’t have a bra on. She was trying on tops. And her tits were in my line of vision again! Hard nipples. In my eyeballs! So, yeah, I stared a little. How could I not? I mean, that same window she was standing in is visible from the street, too. Surely, I was not the only one checking out this naked woman…was I?
So, I made it my mission to start asking around about Cougarella’s nudity. First person was my neighbor across the street, a retired police officer. We will call him Officer Krupke. When I asked, Officer Krupke laughed and told me that she would put on the topless window show every day at 3 p.m. without fail. “Weekends, too!” he said, smiling. “I always mow my lawn at 3 p.m. on Saturdays so I can get a good look. She’s a looker, that one.” A wise man, that Officer Krupke.
Then I asked my other next-door neighbor, Mrs. Rodriguez, a housewife and a general Cougarella-hater. Her report confirmed that Cougarella had been putting on the tit-show for over a year now. Except when she told me, it wasn’t as happy-go-lucky as Officer Krupke’s report. “That fucking slut! I want to claw her fucking eyes out. I’ve caught my husband looking at her. She has no shame! You should say something to her about that. She is your neighbor, you know.”
Her request that I say something got me thinking. Should I say something? I mean, she was naked and I could see her. Shouldn’t I give her the heads up? But then I started thinking…what if Cougarella wanted us to look? What if this MILF got her kicks being an exhibitionist? Who was I to ruin her good time and, apparently, the good time of all the penis’ed folk in my neighborhood?
I mean, voyeurism…sometimes it happens, right?
Which brings us to the point of this blog. What would Scorelanders do? Would you say something? Would you continue to peep? There is a part of me that feels pervy for looking, but then there is a part of me that enjoys her blatant nudity.
(And there’s a part of me that wants to ask her to pose for SCORE, too. lol)
Chime in, big-tit lovers. I love when you voice your opinions.
Nurse Dallas Dixon is dedicated to sucking the cum out of the balls of her patients, not to mention playing with all those fancy levers that make hospital beds such interesting surfaces to fuck on. For the first time on SCORELAND, the AMA (American Mammary Association) is proud to present Dallas Dixon in one of the only two XXX videos she’s made so far. The concern that Dallas expresses for her patient’s erection is truly stiffening. No wonder she’s in the running for the position of head nurse at Hooter Hospital. Don’t miss this video in Voluptuous Theater today. I really love how Dallas uses her tits as cock-pillows…and everything else about her! We’ve done several nurse scenes over the years, but this is my favorite. I hope she comes back one day. I’ve never seen health care so caring.
This is a bad time. Foreclosures. Evictions. Adjustable-rate mortages are re-setting. House prices are crashing. 10% unemployment. Credit crunches. What’s a big-busted, Rubenesque-assed girl to do when she can’t come up with the rent money for a scuzzy sleazeball of a landlord? September ’09 Voluptuous cover girl Bailey Santanna, the world’s greatest girlfriend (she said so herself), uses her assets to avoid eviction from her apartment. See the video and pictorial at SCORELAND today!
This is Bella, she’s a 100% amateur from Michigan and she’s in our studio today shooting for Naughty Neighbors magazine. As you’re about to see, she has big, natural tits. Bigger than probably 90% of the women on the planet…and 99.9% of the women who are as slim as she is. But is she a SCORE Girl? Does she measure up where it counts? We have to make these tough decisions every day here at SCORELAND, and when we saw Bella’s test shots, our first reaction was, “She’s not quite big enough. Too borderline.” But then we saw her in person. Should we change our minds? Should we invite Bella into the hallowed pages of SCORE and onto SCORELAND? Watch the video. Vote in this weekend’s poll. Make your comments below. Her future is in your–ahem–hands.–Dave
It never gets old. It never ceases to make my little heart skip a beat.
The SCORELAND T-shirt.
The white, clingy fabric stretched out over the expanse of an ample bosom…it’s perfection.
So when we get a new luscious lady in, and she comes out of the studio’s dressing room wearing it,and her boobs are coming out of it, well, it is a moment of shining glory. A moment to be captured in a photograph.
It’s like a rite of passage.
When a woman comes out of that dressing room wearing the SCORELAND uniform, it is as if she has arrived. It’s official.
She is a SCORE Girl.
She becomes part of the tradition…part of the legendary magic.
It makes me want to salute her and welcome her to a league of extraordinary ladies.
It makes me want to welcome her to SCORE.
It’s really pretty breathtaking, actually.
Because all things come and go, but a SCORE Girl is forever.
My mind is a cavernous place full of strange details and memories that revolve around tits. (If I didn’t work where I work, I might be considered a tad bit on the side of creepy, ya’ll. Just a tiny bit strange, even. lol) Sometimes I can be typing up copy for the newest issue of V-Mag and my thoughts will drift, and all of a sudden I am thinking about Denise Davies’ areolae and pondering how many inches they measure across. (4 1/2 inches all the way across, 2 1/4 inches from the nipple to the edge.) (Fuck! I’m a weirdo. lol)
Little things will trigger my boob musings, and then my mind is a’wandering and I am sort of in and out of very elaborate tit scenarios. Sometimes they involve hot chicks doing weird things. (Like when I imagine Ashley Sage and Renee Ross in an epic battle royale where they charge at each other, topless, wearing viking hats and popping bags of potato chips by crashing into one another with the chips strapped to their cleavage. CRASH! POP! PoTITo Chips! Hahahaha!) Or sometimes I think about chicks at a pool party. I know this sounds harmless, but not really. I’ll imagine Janet Jade by a Slip ‘N’ Slide that’s coated in sundae toppings. She’s naked and running and then PLOP! And SLIDE! And Kapow…Titssert! And then maybe Christy Marks comes running behind her and PLOP! Followed by Dallas Dixon. PLOP! And so on and so forth until I’ve piled up like 20 models in a heap of sweet toppings and nudity and stickiness. A stack of stacked ladies sundae. In my imagination. Yeah. Um, my mind is a fucked up place, honestly. lol
Today, I came into the office and sat down at my computer to look over some sets, and I came across this odd photo and my mind went racing to all sorts of bizarro places. I figured that I should share it with you guys because maybe you would appreciate it…
Okay, I’m lying.
I’m telling you guys because I am attempting to add a small iota of normalcy to my mind’s inner workings. Maybe you guys have these strange, elaborate thoughts, too? Or maybe not and by now you think I’m crazy. Either, or. lol
Anywho, take a look at this:
So, I see this shot and I literally have a WHAT THE FUCK MOMENT, or a WTF!, if you will. And then I’m thinking about the movie Flashdance. And then I’m thinking about Jennifer Beals. And I’m like, “Did Jennifer Beals have big tits. Hmmm?” And then it’s her in that leotard, flipping and dancing to that epic song, What A Feeling by Irene Cara. And I’m like, “No, she didn’t have big tits. Did Irene Cara have big tits…?” And then WOOSH! I am thinking about that scene in Back To The Future where Michael J. Fox, aka Marty McFly, dresses up and goes to see the younger version of his dad, George McFly, and he puts those Walkman earphones on him and wakes him up by blasting Van Halen and he says, “Silence Earthling! My name is Darth Vader. I am an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan!” I was like…”How much better would that whole scene have been with this chick in it?”
I’m fucking weird. lol
But look at that shot! Isn’t it a little strange? Strangely provocative? A topless chick in a welder’s mask? It’s just too, um, good, too strange not to start my mind drifting.
Oh, and that’s Karina Hart, by the way.
Sigh. She’s fucking HOT, eh?
She could weld whatever she wanted and I would watch. Even if it meant the flame from her welding gun (Is it called a gun?) would fry my retinas. (Maybe not. Maybe I could wear protective goggles…do they make protective goggles in hot pink?)
See what I mean?
My mind. A tit carnival is always going on up there.
Thanks for letting me rant and rave and ponder in front of you all.
(But seriously…the welder’s mask shot is kind of cool in a Sci-Fi’ish way, isn’t it?)
For me, models smoking is a guilty pleasure. I’m anti-smoking and have dated only one smoker in my life. She had big tits, but the fact that she was a smoker was a big turn-off for me. I have never been a smoker, and it bothers me when people I love smoke. It’s bad for them.
But when a busty (or not-so-busty) model (or a stripper in a club) smokes a cigarette, my dick gets hard instantly. And the smoking blow job? Forget it. She takes a puff of her cigarette, then takes a puff of the cock, and there’s smoke everywhere, and it’s incredibly nasty. In a good way.
I think I know why I feel this way. When I was in my teens and going to high school and middle school, only the bad girls smoked. And since they were doing one thing they weren’t supposed to be doing (smoking), they were probably doing another (fucking). When a girl smokes cigarettes and does porn, she’s doing two things she’s not supposed to be doing. And I like that.
This week’s poll asks for your opinion about models smoking in photo sets and videos. You can guess how I voted.