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Yoga with Kaytee Carter :)

February 4, 2010 by Maria 6 Comments

Exercise is essential. It really is.

That is why whenever I get a chance to see a hot girl work out in tight pants and a tiny top she is spilling out of, I do. (Because I totally agree…exercise is important. lol)

So, when I had a chance to catch up with Kaytee Carter and she told me that she loves to do yoga, I figured why not get her to do some for the blog? And of course, she did it in a tiny sports bra and then, eventually, topless. Now, I am not a yogi, or, um, a yoga master. Hell, I don’t even like yogurt! But I’ll tell you what…watching this chick bend into all sorts of positions and hearing her little satisfied grunts as she stretched her hot bod, well, it got my heart rate going! (And I am sure that it will get your heart rate going, too!)

I have a special place in my heart for the busties who love yoga. Chloe Vevrier is a yoga fanatic and even did some yoga for our lensmen when she was filming On Location Key Largo. And Christy Marks is a yoga lover, too! She can bend herself into an incredible fuck pretzel at the drop of a hat. You have to respect a woman who says, “Hey, look at my tits…and watch me put my legs behind my head.” (Kinda makes you wish all chicks could do that, eh?) Chicks that like yoga should wear shirts that say, “Fuck me, I’m limber!”

So, what did we learn today, guys?

1) Exercise is important.

2) Girls should work out topless.

3) Girls who do yoga are good lays.

Enjoy this exercise video. Well, jackcercise video, anyway. lol

xoxo

Maria

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The Bucking Bronco: Location, location, location…

February 3, 2010 by Guest Blogger 5 Comments

Faith25082

Look up. See that picture of Faith up there? Never let it be said that I don’t take constructive criticism. Now that that’s out of the way, I do have a couple of things that I should probably clear up.

First off, The Bucking Bronco isn’t my name. It was strictly the name of the column. Unfortunately, there was some confusion between Dave and I, and the next thing you know, I’m the douchebag known as The Bucking Bronco. Believe me, as awesome as that name might sound, (heavy sarcasm implied), I think I’m just gonna go ahead and stick with Adam. What you’re reading, however, is… The Bucking Bronco.

Secondly, despite what a few of you may think, I am not, in fact, the janitor at SCORELAND. I’m actually below him; something like a janitorial assistant. It pays well, and I get to carry the bucket.

Now let’s get down to business. This column is sort of an open forum. You can either read it and be on your merry way or join in the discussion and make this a more interactive experience. Don’t hold back, either. Anything goes in here. Just think of it as a night out at the bar with the boys. And ladies, you are most certainly welcome–and openly encouraged–to join in the conversation. I don’t think you’ll hear any complaints from the guys.

So if you’d like to join the fun, follow along. Otherwise, feel free to just sit here and stare at that picture for a while. Nobody will judge you for it.

Welcome to The Bucking Bronco…

Whether you’re married, have a live-in girlfriend or still stay at home with the parents, odds are you likely run into the exact same problem as the rest of us: where the hell can I jack it? In a perfect world, In a perfect world, we would have the perfect solution. Unfortunately, this Utopian concept isn’t as widespread as one might hope, so we just have to sneak off and take care of it ourselves every once in a while. Nothing wrong with a little jerk before work.

Today, we’ll try to figure out some of the best and worst places to bust out your light saber when you’re trying to play a little Hand Solo. All locations will be rated on a cup size of A to DD.

The Computer Room [Grade: A-cup]
I know there’s a computer with access to the best of what SCORELAND has to offer, but is this really the ideal way to go about your business? Have you ever tried to do this with other people in the house? It’s the least enjoyable jack you’ll ever have. Every time your chair makes the slightest noise, you minimize the porn window, so only a sports site is showing.

Have you even imagined what that would look like to the person walking in? There isn’t enough time to minimize the window AND stuff everything back in your pants, so you close the most obvious one first (the porn) and then do your best to put the biscuit back in the basket. Meanwhile, they’re watching you tug at your zipper while there’s a giant picture of Derek Jeter across your computer screen. Good luck explaining that one to the wife. Luckily, you won’t have to. She knows that your obsession with marginally talented shortstops isn’t what had you with your pants around your ankles.

Also, how do you handle clean up? Tissues? Towel? Tube sock? No thank you. You’re better off taking your laptop and heading to the next location…

The Bathroom [Grade: C-cup]
The bathroom is the only room in the house where you can lock the door, hang out for 45 minutes and nobody will ever question it. In their minds, you probably just ate at the Dirty Sanchez Taco Emporium for lunch, so not only do they not want to know, but you’re also in no danger of anyone demanding to come in once you’re situated. Need to brush your teeth, honey? “Uh, no thanks. I, uh… I’ll just go to work with the smell of onion bagel on my breath. I’m good.”

The other good thing about the bathroom is that there’s minimal cleanup. You can blast one right into the toilet, flush, wash your hands and then you’re free to go. No messy tissues or sticky towels that need to be shamefully hidden at the bottom of the laundry hamper. Just a quick flush and not even the cast of CSI will be able to figure out what you were up to.

The only thing I hate about the bathroom is that I always feel dirty doing it in there, like I’m doing something morally wrong. I think it has something to do with the lighting. It makes me feel like I’m jerking off in a mental hospital. But perhaps that’s just a personal hang-up.

The Shower [Grade: DD-cup]
When you need a little privacy, there’s nothing better than popping one off in the shower. There’s soap right next to you, no mess, no cleanup and it just feels like something that’s supposed to be done in there. If there were an official shower checklist, I imagine it would go something like this:

_ Wash hair
_ Pee down the drain
_ Wash body
_ Sing loud and off-key
_ Jerk off
_ Dry off
_ HELICOPTER!

I’ve also recently learned about something called the shower beer. I’m not exactly sure where it would go on the checklist, but its future inclusion is mandatory.

The Bathtub [Grade: B-cup]
Someone pointed this out in the comments section last week, and I thought it was worth a mention. I’ve never actually tried this, but I think he might be onto something with this whole “floating balls” theory. Weightless jerking? It sounds like it might have its benefits, especially for those of us who aren’t in the best of shape, but there’s just one question that needs to be answered: What do you do when you’ve finished and everything is floating on the surface of the water, just above you? That’s gotta be an awkward moment.

I think this one has all the potential to be a D-cup scenario, but until we find a solution to that problem, I can’t grade it any higher than a B-cup.

Well, that’s all I got for you today, folks. Thanks for hanging around, though. If I forgot to mention anything or you know of another place to sneak one in, share it with us in the comments below and help your fellow SCORELAND Blog readers out. Also, as a personal thank you for making it all the way to the end, I offer you this…

Faith25557

Because, really, everyone should have a little Faith. THAT’S how we reward you here at the SCORELAND Blog.

Now if you’ll excuse me, these floors aren’t gonna sweep themselves.

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Happy Birthday to…

February 2, 2010 by Elliot James 3 Comments

Corina lives in Portland, Orgeon. Last we checked, her website was off-line. Maddie claims she makes the best Italian meatballs in the U.K. Zoryna became a teacher of academic subjects. Brandy still doesn’t like it when we use the words tits and knockers. Deborah Blue works in an office in Berlin. May they all enjoy their arrival day.

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Guess the tits: Who do these racks belong to?

February 1, 2010 by Dave 12 Comments

So, you think you’re a boob expert, huh? Well, let’s see how good you are. There are three voluptuous babes in this video. You can’t see their faces, but you can hear their voices (and see their racks, of course). Identify who the tits belong to and you win. What do you win? Respect. Pride. You’ll always be able to say, “I won the first ‘Guess The Tits’ contest at the SCORELAND Blog.” And that’s gotta be worth something, right?

Here’s a clue: All of these girls have huge, natural tits.

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OUR LATEST DISCOVERY! Fresh Tits!

January 31, 2010 by Maria 38 Comments

As I write this, I am both giddy and worried as I am doing the unspeakable…

SHOWING YOU A MODEL WE JUST SHOT IN PARTS UNKNOWN WHO I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE UNVEILING YET.

Yes, this is a total SCORE security breach, but I had to show you these JUGS! Fresh tit flesh from parts unknown. CUMMING SOON TO SCORELAND!

Yes, this is a total SCORE security breach, but I had to show you these JUGS! Fresh tit flesh from parts unknown. CUMMING SOON TO SCORELAND!

Whoosh. Doing bad things is soooo exciting! 🙂

I am looking over my shoulder as I post this. This material is so hot…hot as in stolen from our library without permission. (Shhh…don’t tell.)

In fact, when I asked our web guy Alex to get this image ready for me, he said, “Dude. You’re not supposed to post this. You are gonna get in so much trouble.”

My answer to that is…

SERIOUSLY?

I just can’t see the harm in showing you a pic. Just one. Just to get your attention because this girl is smoking HOT like lava!

Okay, so here’s what I know…

We shot this on location somewhere overseas. I don’t know her name yet. (They have this girl under wraps, big time!) I don’t know where we shot her since our camera crews can be anywhere at any time.

But I do know that she is in her early 20s and works in some sort of retail shop. She has full G-cups, and this is her first time modeling EVER.

I think that she looks like a cross between Linsey Dawn and Bozena and that she is the fuckin’ cat’s meow! “Supposedly” we are going to unveil a set of her sometime soon on SCORELAND, but I decided it was a better idea to steal that thunder and this pic. 😉

So enjoy this shot, guys. I broke the law for you.

xoxo

Maria



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Kaytee Carter makes a splash at SCORELAND

January 30, 2010 by Elliot James 8 Comments
 

Kaytee Carter hits SCORELAND's New Discovery section!
Kaytee Carter hits SCORELAND’s New Discovery section!

SCORELAND gets splashed with Kaytee Carter’s first pictorial and video on Sunday. If you’re new to our Blog, you’ve probably missed super-bombshell Kaytee in her intro video and then a day later with another new discovery, Bebe Cooper.  (Bebe’s first video and photos will be here next week.) “I’ve never gotten naked like this for anyone!” Kaytee said in her interview. Awesome!

She’s never danced, never modeled before, never been to a topless beach or a nudist resort, never stood naked in front of her bedroom window, and now here she is, due to the efforts of a SCORE reader who recognized large talents when he saw them and convinced Kaytee that she had the right stuffers. Yes, a man–a man like you, a man like me, a man who cared–risked having a drink tossed in his face, and a potential kick to the mcnuggets, by telling Kaytee that SCORE magazine needed babes like her. But good fortune smiled on everyone. Her first magazine, May ’10 SCORE, hits newsstands the third week of February, so be sure to pick up your copy. Congratulations, new covergirl Kaytee.

May '10 SCORE official arrives in stores on February 23.

May '10 SCORE officially arrives in stores on February 23.

And if your local store doesn’t carry SCORE and other TSG mags, clearly the owner is afflicted with some sort of serious mental disorder. We can help. Send that store’s name and address to scorecard@scoregroup.com and we’ll provide the care they need.

Today, V-Mag babe Alanna Ackerman gets tapped in a XXX video called Picked Up And Fucked. Yes, that title says it all. Alanna is an art student all by her lonesome, minding her own biz, just sketching in the park, when a pick-up artist pulls his speed-talking routine on Ms. Ackerman and lures her back to his crib of carnality for a power thumping. An inspiration to us all. He slides his pork-pipe between her 36F-cups and gives Alanna an art lesson in anatomy. Spend some quality time with Alanna’s quivering, bouncing, shaking hangers.

Titty happy hour with Alanna Ackerman.

Titty happy hour with Alanna Ackerman.

Here’s how Kaytee looks in her first video. Man, is she smokin’.

And this is a mash-up of Alanna fogging our cameraman’s lens.

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HOLY SHIT! It’s Minka!

January 29, 2010 by Maria 9 Comments

Alright…so there are some models that you see around our offices and you say, “Oh, it’s her,” and then you sort of stare for a second or two and that’s that. Then there are models who you see and you go, “HOLY SHIT!” and you start following her, not because you mean to, but because your feet are moving on their own accord. The former is the kind of model that Minka is.

I have seen Minka briefly a few times while I’ve worked here.

The first time was the day I came to interview at The SCORE Group all those years ago. You can imagine what it was like. I was nervous and getting my game face on while walking up to the building, and then, all of a sudden, the door swings open and out comes Minka in a robe and rollers. You CANNOT imagine what my face looked like. I think I mouthed the words “HOLY SHIT” upon the visual assault her melons launched against my eyeballs. (Which were probably popping out of my head!) Needless to say, I landed the job, but that night I distinctly remember going home, and while everyone wanted to hear about my new job, all I could do was say, “I saw this pretty, Asian woman there and her tits were bigger than my HEAD!” over and over to whoever would listen. lol

The second time I saw her was when she was here to film a few hardcore scenes a while back. I walked into the studio and was talking to a BootyLicious model when Minka came up to me and said, “You have big boobs!” and sort of perused my rack while I sat there in awe and shock and a generally dumbfounded state.

The third time was today when Dave screamed at me from the studio, across our Creative Room and said,”Maria! Come in here! Run! Fast!” And when I skedaddled over, he introduced me to Minka. Yes, I was face to face with the Asian wonder, and boy was I tongue-tied. Minka’s ginormous chesticles stunned me into silence. I think I may have said one or two semi-spaztastic things before they ushered me away from her boobliness so I wouldn’t make more of a fool of myself.

“Wow!” I thought. “I fucking blew it!”

But then I thought…”How many people get to meet Minka? Dude. I need to go in there and redeem myself. I need to let her know that I can say more than just Minka and tits and drool.” So, I summoned up some courage and some brass cojones and busted back into the studio, interrupted Dave and Elliot’s interview with Minka and did a blog video. Two good things came of that. The first is that Minka was very nice and even took a pic with me after where she rested her hand on my heinie!!!! (OMG!)

In this photo, Minka's hand is resting on my ass. LOL YES!!!

In this photo, Minka's hand is resting on my ass. LOL YES!!!

The second is that Dave spilled the beans about an upcoming ULTIMATE MINKA DVD. Yeah! Awesome, eh? (Keep an eye out!) I know you die-hard Minka fans will love it!

All I can say is, see what happens when you don’t give up? I’ll let you go now so I can go sing “The Impossible Dream” from Man of La Mancha at the top of my lungs around the office. lol Enjoy the video and the shot of Minka and I. (I look short and flat-chested next to her, which is kind of funny, but her boobs are really as big as my head, so there is no way my rack would look impressive at all next to that.)

xoxo, Maria

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What a bunch of assholes!

January 29, 2010 by Dave 3 Comments

Here at SCORELAND, it’s all about the boobs, right? Well, kinda. I mean, I have a bit of a one-track mind, and nothing stops me in my tracks like a big, jiggly rack. But let’s face it: Man can not live on tits alone. Once in a while, we need something to stick our cocks in rather than between. And that, of course, is where pussy and ass come in.

So a bunch of us were standing around the other day talking about assholes. No, not people who are assholes. Buttholes. Brown-eyed winkies (I hate that term). The orifice 90 degrees south (or north if she’s on all fours) of the pussy. Yeah, I know you know where it is. And that got me to thinking, “Who has the best asshole in SCORELAND history?” Here are some candidates. Notice that each asshole looks like it hasn’t been fucked, even though it might have been. Remember what Woody Allen says at the end of Hannah and Her Sisters:  “The asshole is a very resilient little muscle.” Okay, that’s not exactly what he says, but close. If anyone has any nominations, I can try to add them to this posting.

Jack nominated Sharday's tight asshole for consideration.

Jack nominated Sharday's tight asshole for consideration.

Chloe Vevrier can't decide whether to lick Danni Ashe's pussy or asshole.

Chloe Vevrier can't decide whether to lick Danni Ashe's pussy or asshole.

Ariana (left) and Dawn Stone are Boob Cruising. I'd like to go asshole cruising with either of them.

Ariana (left) and Dawn Stone are Boob Cruising. I'd like to go asshole cruising with either of them.

Kylee Nash seems to be saying, "I have an open hole if you want it!"

Kylee Nash seems to be saying, "I have an open hole if you want it!"

Is Stevie Kaye trying to show off her tits, her pussy or her asshole? I'm voting for asshole.

Is Stevie Kaye trying to show off her tits, her pussy or her asshole? I'm voting for asshole.

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Dallas Dixon is a player-wife.

January 28, 2010 by Elliot James 4 Comments

SCORELAND just posted a fresh pictorial of Dallas Dixon from the January ’10 Voluptuous, and there’s something interesting about her personal life in addition to her busty-neighbor-next-door look.

Dallas Dixon's office attire, Jan. '10 Voluptuous

Dallas Dixon's office attire, Jan. '10 Voluptuous

Dallas Dixon and not her husband in the V-mag movie Hooter Hospital.

Dallas Dixon and not her husband in the V-Mag movie Hooter Hospital.

She’s been married for 10 years, has a regular job and her husband is cool with her fucking other guys. Now, he doesn’t want to bang other men’s wives or the check-out clerk at his supermarket. But he likes seeing his wife get cocked. Our SCORE TV reporter talked to Dallas while she was relaxing in the dressing room. She’s only posed for us, although I’m sure other companies have been after those great tits.

I’ve never been married to a porn star, a hooker, a promiscuous woman, a sex surrogate, a swinger or a free love advocate, so I don’t know how I could handle a situation like Dallas’ hub does. But I know guys who do. I don’t know if there is some secret to handling the thought of some guy’s cock in your woman’s pussy. There probably is.

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Birthday breast wishes to…

January 28, 2010 by Elliot James 1 Comment

Rachel dances at La Chambres Lounge in Detroit. Bethany’s last TV appearance was a Jenny Jones show in 2001. We’re still waiting for Bea and Anna to vacation in America. Gabriella is one of the bouncy bouncers in the Voluptuous movie Bounce Baby Bounce! Born and raised in Japan, Sakura Sena now lives in Vancouver, B.C., Canada. Taylor Hill retired from modeling and works as a hair stylist. Rose Valentina is one of the bridesmaids in the XLGirls movie My Big Plump Wedding.

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