Good day, boob lovers!
I have a quick, little story about what I like to call, Seeing Boobs on the Sneak. (Maybe some of you call it being a peeping Tom. Or, if we need to be fancy, Voyeurism. I call it Seeing Boobs on the Sneak because it just feels right.)
But on with the story…
My neighbor, Cougarella, looks like Amber Lynn.
So there is this lady who lives next door to me…let’s call her Cougarella. She is in her 40s and in decent shape. She has these huge bazoombas. She’s augmented. She has an Amber Lynn Bach-type of body. She isn’t too hard too look at, that’s for sure. I bump into her in the mornings when I am getting my paper or when I am on my way out the door to come to SCORE. She is always outside on the front lawn watering her flowers and she is ALWAYS wearing something SCANDALOUS. I’m talking about teeny-tiny shirts and shorts or little, cotton dresses that show off the goods like a display case. It’s kind of Mrs. Robinson-ish, if you ask me. She flirts with everyone and everything in the neighborhood, and we all sorta flirt back. Dave would probably call her a Divorcee On The Prowl in 40Something magazine, for sure. She is, for the most part, the neighborhood MILF and probably the most-discussed lady on the block. The women hate her. (Not me, since I am neither married, nor have children, so she poses no threat to my existence.) The men LOVE her. And the teenagers find excuses to congregate near the end of her driveway to sneak a peek at her, um, peaks. lol
So, the other day I was BBQing in my backyard. I want to put that out there right away…I WAS IN MY BACKYARD, and I happened to be staring at my fence while I flipped some steaks. That’s when I saw her. Cougarella. Right through the slats in the fence posts. Naked as the day she was born. In a gardener’s hat, gloves and those hideous Croc shoes that should be banned. But the rest of her was naked. NAKED! I kinda went, WTF?! But I couldn’t look away. WHO COULD LOOK AWAY? She was humming and trimming some shrubbery and every time she moved, her tits would sway. It was a sight to behold.
I accidentally caught Cougarella getting dressed the other day, too.
Unlike my usual stare-like-a-pervert antics, I managed to tear my eyes away from Cougarella’s display and remind myself to plant trees, tall ones, along my fence. But her display didn’t end there. You see, my bathroom window faces her house, and a few days later when I was in the shower, as I lathered up my hair, I happened to look out the window, and lo and behold! There she was again! This time, she was in her bedroom and her windows were wide open and she was changing. She didn’t have a bra on. She was trying on tops. And her tits were in my line of vision again! Hard nipples. In my eyeballs! So, yeah, I stared a little. How could I not? I mean, that same window she was standing in is visible from the street, too. Surely, I was not the only one checking out this naked woman…was I?
So, I made it my mission to start asking around about Cougarella’s nudity. First person was my neighbor across the street, a retired police officer. We will call him Officer Krupke. When I asked, Officer Krupke laughed and told me that she would put on the topless window show every day at 3 p.m. without fail. “Weekends, too!” he said, smiling. “I always mow my lawn at 3 p.m. on Saturdays so I can get a good look. She’s a looker, that one.” A wise man, that Officer Krupke.
Do your neighbors get naked with the windows and blinds open?
Then I asked my other next-door neighbor, Mrs. Rodriguez, a housewife and a general Cougarella-hater. Her report confirmed that Cougarella had been putting on the tit-show for over a year now. Except when she told me, it wasn’t as happy-go-lucky as Officer Krupke’s report. “That fucking slut! I want to claw her fucking eyes out. I’ve caught my husband looking at her. She has no shame! You should say something to her about that. She is your neighbor, you know.”
Her request that I say something got me thinking. Should I say something? I mean, she was naked and I could see her. Shouldn’t I give her the heads up? But then I started thinking…what if Cougarella wanted us to look? What if this MILF got her kicks being an exhibitionist? Who was I to ruin her good time and, apparently, the good time of all the penis’ed folk in my neighborhood?
I mean, voyeurism…sometimes it happens, right?
Which brings us to the point of this blog. What would Scorelanders do? Would you say something? Would you continue to peep? There is a part of me that feels pervy for looking, but then there is a part of me that enjoys her blatant nudity.
(And there’s a part of me that wants to ask her to pose for SCORE, too. lol)
Chime in, big-tit lovers. I love when you voice your opinions.
Nurse Dallas Dixon is dedicated to sucking the cum out of the balls of her patients, not to mention playing with all those fancy levers that make hospital beds such interesting surfaces to fuck on. For the first time on SCORELAND, the AMA (American Mammary Association) is proud to present Dallas Dixon in one of the only two XXX videos she’s made so far. The concern that Dallas expresses for her patient’s erection is truly stiffening. No wonder she’s in the running for the position of head nurse at Hooter Hospital. Don’t miss this video in Voluptuous Theater today. I really love how Dallas uses her tits as cock-pillows…and everything else about her! We’ve done several nurse scenes over the years, but this is my favorite. I hope she comes back one day. I’ve never seen health care so caring.
This is a bad time. Foreclosures. Evictions. Adjustable-rate mortages are re-setting. House prices are crashing. 10% unemployment. Credit crunches. What’s a big-busted, Rubenesque-assed girl to do when she can’t come up with the rent money for a scuzzy sleazeball of a landlord? September ’09 Voluptuous cover girl Bailey Santanna, the world’s greatest girlfriend (she said so herself), uses her assets to avoid eviction from her apartment. See the video and pictorial at SCORELAND today!
This is Bella, she’s a 100% amateur from Michigan and she’s in our studio today shooting for Naughty Neighbors magazine. As you’re about to see, she has big, natural tits. Bigger than probably 90% of the women on the planet…and 99.9% of the women who are as slim as she is. But is she a SCORE Girl? Does she measure up where it counts? We have to make these tough decisions every day here at SCORELAND, and when we saw Bella’s test shots, our first reaction was, “She’s not quite big enough. Too borderline.” But then we saw her in person. Should we change our minds? Should we invite Bella into the hallowed pages of SCORE and onto SCORELAND? Watch the video. Vote in this weekend’s poll. Make your comments below. Her future is in your–ahem–hands.–Dave
Destiny Rose busts out of this top and makes her debut in the Feb. '10 issue of V-mag.
Camelia Davis really fills a shirt out.
It never gets old. It never ceases to make my little heart skip a beat.
The SCORELAND T-shirt.
The white, clingy fabric stretched out over the expanse of an ample bosom…it’s perfection.
So when we get a new luscious lady in, and she comes out of the studio’s dressing room wearing it,and her boobs are coming out of it, well, it is a moment of shining glory. A moment to be captured in a photograph.
It’s like a rite of passage.
When a woman comes out of that dressing room wearing the SCORELAND uniform, it is as if she has arrived. It’s official.
She is a SCORE Girl.
Michelle May wears her uniform proudly.
Arianna Sinn: G-cups don't always fit in the SCORE tank top. (Thank goodness!)
She becomes part of the tradition…part of the legendary magic.
It makes me want to salute her and welcome her to a league of extraordinary ladies.
It makes me want to welcome her to SCORE.
It’s really pretty breathtaking, actually.
Because all things come and go, but a SCORE Girl is forever.
Sophie Mae: SCORE Girl, bellydancer and hottie.
Renee Ross and Scarlett Rouge...Sex in the T-shirts? No, Sex In The Titties.
My mind is a cavernous place full of strange details and memories that revolve around tits. (If I didn’t work where I work, I might be considered a tad bit on the side of creepy, ya’ll. Just a tiny bit strange, even. lol) Sometimes I can be typing up copy for the newest issue of V-Mag and my thoughts will drift, and all of a sudden I am thinking about Denise Davies’ areolae and pondering how many inches they measure across. (4 1/2 inches all the way across, 2 1/4 inches from the nipple to the edge.) (Fuck! I’m a weirdo. lol)
Little things will trigger my boob musings, and then my mind is a’wandering and I am sort of in and out of very elaborate tit scenarios. Sometimes they involve hot chicks doing weird things. (Like when I imagine Ashley Sage and Renee Ross in an epic battle royale where they charge at each other, topless, wearing viking hats and popping bags of potato chips by crashing into one another with the chips strapped to their cleavage. CRASH! POP! PoTITo Chips! Hahahaha!) Or sometimes I think about chicks at a pool party. I know this sounds harmless, but not really. I’ll imagine Janet Jade by a Slip ‘N’ Slide that’s coated in sundae toppings. She’s naked and running and then PLOP! And SLIDE! And Kapow…Titssert! And then maybe Christy Marks comes running behind her and PLOP! Followed by Dallas Dixon. PLOP! And so on and so forth until I’ve piled up like 20 models in a heap of sweet toppings and nudity and stickiness. A stack of stacked ladies sundae. In my imagination. Yeah. Um, my mind is a fucked up place, honestly. lol
Today, I came into the office and sat down at my computer to look over some sets, and I came across this odd photo and my mind went racing to all sorts of bizarro places. I figured that I should share it with you guys because maybe you would appreciate it…
Okay, I’m lying.
I’m telling you guys because I am attempting to add a small iota of normalcy to my mind’s inner workings. Maybe you guys have these strange, elaborate thoughts, too? Or maybe not and by now you think I’m crazy. Either, or. lol
Anywho, take a look at this:
HOW BIZARRE IS THIS?!?
So, I see this shot and I literally have a WHAT THE FUCK MOMENT, or a WTF!, if you will. And then I’m thinking about the movie Flashdance. And then I’m thinking about Jennifer Beals. And I’m like, “Did Jennifer Beals have big tits. Hmmm?” And then it’s her in that leotard, flipping and dancing to that epic song, What A Feeling by Irene Cara. And I’m like, “No, she didn’t have big tits. Did Irene Cara have big tits…?” And then WOOSH! I am thinking about that scene in Back To The Future where Michael J. Fox, aka Marty McFly, dresses up and goes to see the younger version of his dad, George McFly, and he puts those Walkman earphones on him and wakes him up by blasting Van Halen and he says, “Silence Earthling! My name is Darth Vader. I am an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan!” I was like…”How much better would that whole scene have been with this chick in it?”
Karina Hart. Welder. lol
I’m fucking weird. lol
But look at that shot! Isn’t it a little strange? Strangely provocative? A topless chick in a welder’s mask? It’s just too, um, good, too strange not to start my mind drifting.
Oh, and that’s Karina Hart, by the way.
Sigh. She’s fucking HOT, eh?
She could weld whatever she wanted and I would watch. Even if it meant the flame from her welding gun (Is it called a gun?) would fry my retinas. (Maybe not. Maybe I could wear protective goggles…do they make protective goggles in hot pink?)
See what I mean?
My mind. A tit carnival is always going on up there.
Thanks for letting me rant and rave and ponder in front of you all.
(But seriously…the welder’s mask shot is kind of cool in a Sci-Fi’ish way, isn’t it?)
For me, models smoking is a guilty pleasure. I’m anti-smoking and have dated only one smoker in my life. She had big tits, but the fact that she was a smoker was a big turn-off for me. I have never been a smoker, and it bothers me when people I love smoke. It’s bad for them.
But when a busty (or not-so-busty) model (or a stripper in a club) smokes a cigarette, my dick gets hard instantly. And the smoking blow job? Forget it. She takes a puff of her cigarette, then takes a puff of the cock, and there’s smoke everywhere, and it’s incredibly nasty. In a good way.
I think I know why I feel this way. When I was in my teens and going to high school and middle school, only the bad girls smoked. And since they were doing one thing they weren’t supposed to be doing (smoking), they were probably doing another (fucking). When a girl smokes cigarettes and does porn, she’s doing two things she’s not supposed to be doing. And I like that.
This week’s poll asks for your opinion about models smoking in photo sets and videos. You can guess how I voted.
Merilyn is always smokin', but here she's really smoking!
I thought Ines Cudna was a good girl until our photographer caught her smoking.
As far as I am concerned, when a chick is showing cleavage she WANTS you to look at it. Big time.
I love being able to come to the blog and talk tits with you fine folks. It’s practically therapeutic to be able to have a forum to get things off my chest about, well, big chests! lol That’s why when something happened to me a couple of days ago, I found it worthy of mentioning here.
Okay, so let me set up the situation for you.
You have me, a big-boobed chick, out to lunch with a buddy of mine on Friday. Friday lunches are usually a crowded affair at most of the restaurants surrounding The SCORE Group headquarters here in Miami because most people go out to eat in droves (Maybe because it’s so close to the weekend?). So, my buddy Mario (Hi Mario!) and I are waiting to be seated at a local Colombian restaurant to have some soup since it is currently a bit chilly in Miami. (Yes, my name is Maria and I hang out with a guy named Mario. And yes, chilly to us is 71 degrees. lol)
While we are waiting by the door of this crowded soup place, I notice this chick who is sitting at a table directly ahead of us. She is immersed in a deep convo with her lunch date and doesn’t even glance in our direction. Normally I would have glanced at her and kept going but here is where it gets sticky.
First of all, this chick had MONDO tits. Like HUMONGOUS ones. Second of all, she was wearing this low-cut sweater thing that showed off what I like to refer to as A VALLEY OF TIT CREASE. I’m talking about a fucking Grand Canyon of cleave, dude.
Now when I see cleavage like that, and like that I mean cleavage so deep I want to put my hands into it for warmth, I cannot help but stare. It’s like a fucking magnet for my eyes! I can’t stop looking. I mean, I am stuck in ogle-mode. Seriously.
So I look over at Mario to say, “Hey dude, look at that cleave crack at 12 o’clock,” and I realize that he is also fixated on the funbags ahead. (This is probably why we are friends. We both love big boobs. lol) So, now both Mario and I are staring, no scratch that, we are engraving into our memories each inch of this oblivious babe’s biggums when she looks up and catches us staring at her bosoms.
Now Mario, because he is a guy and is programmed to look away at such moments, plays dumb and acts like he is looking at the wall four feet above her head. But not me. I don’t have that AVOID THE RACK-FRONTATION radar, apparently, and I just keep looking at her tits. So she coughs. Loudly. Irritatedly. But being the oblivious caught-in-her-headlights boob fiend that I am, I don’t notice. I just keep on keepin’ on and I even might have mouthed the word, WOW, while doing so.
That’s when two things happened.
1) Mario elbowed me and whispered, “Stop staring, stupid.”
2) She grabbed her napkin and covered her tits up and sort of snapped me out of my boobnotized state. (That’s when you are hypnotized by the titties, just FYI.)
Shortly after that awkward moment passed, our host sat us and when we walked by she distinctly whispered the words, “Fucking perverts.” Well, whispered is the wrong word. HISSED is more like it.
Now, here is what I have come to vent about on the blog, because, well, I can! lol
WHY AM I THE FUCKING PERVERT WHEN SHE WAS THE ONE WEARING HER CHESTICLES OUT AND ABOUT?!? IT’S NOT MY FAULT SHE WAS FLYING THE TIT FLAG OUT THERE ALL PROUD AND I HAD TO SALUTE IT WITH MY EYEBALLS, IS IT?
I mean, seriously…I have big boobs and when I wear them out like that, like a fucking Macy’s window display, I expect people to stop and stare. Fuck, I expect them to point and maybe even applaud. lol
What I am saying is, what the fuck did she think all that tit crease was gonna do? Repel my peepers?
Has this happened to you guys before? If so, I think we need to start some sort of petition to have a law passed or something because as far as I am concerned, if you’re showin’ off your pair, prepare for the stares.
Angel Gee is ready and ripe to give her soldier boy a nice homecoming gift with her massive, pierced, 36F tits, wet, sexy pussy and worshipful lips in the fresh SCORELAND video “Army Wife,” showing today. Every military man should have one of these angels at home or be assigned one. “Have sex, not wars,” Angel says. “But I have to admit there’s something about a man in uniform that makes me want to jump on his cock.” The pictorial of this video is in the November ’09 edition of SCORE, now posted on SCORELAND. Angel’s sexual talents are off the charts. She’s a screamer, as you’ll find out when you see the video. Angel really earned her wings.