In a world full of uncertainties and untruths, there is one thing we should all be able to depend on. There is one thing that should be a constant, no matter how unstable other things are. And that one thing is BIG TITS. You should be able to look at a pair of big tits and believe in their size, weight and J.F. (Jiggle factor.) While Shakira might tell you that Hip Don’t Lie, here at SCORELAND, we like to believe that Tits Don’t Lie. That’s why when we came across an ad for Victoria Secret’s new “Miraculous Push Up” bra, we were intrigued. (Hey, it’s not every day that someone advertises miracles AND titties!)
You can imagine how pissed we were when we read their promise that stated,
“Hello, Bombshell!” Instantly adds two cup sizes. Can be worn as a halter or crossback. In smooth & lace. Sizes 32AA-38DD.
Say what?
While we can sympathize with flat-chested women who might have to resort to this kind of subterfuge, there is no excuse for women with tits to participate in this kind of sham!
Bella Blaze is a DD-cup.
Lorna Morgan is an F-cup.
Imagine if you see a woman walking down the street, jiggling all over the place, with a rack that looks to be about an F-cup. You ask her out. She accepts. You take her to a nice dinner. You take her out for some drinks. You take her out to a movie. Now you have invested time and money in this F-cup dream. Finally, the time comes for you to get in where you fit in and jump on the hanky-panky train. You cop a feel and…wait a second! It feels like you are squeezing a couch pillow, all padding. But you press forward bravely into the great tit unknown. Then she takes off her Miraculous (Read: LIE) Bra and, hey, what the fuck? Where did all that F-cup go? It’s gone. And instead, you are left holding on to a D-cup, maybe a DD-cup. Sure, it’s not THAT bad, but it ain’t the F-cup you were promised. It’s a lie.
Maybe I am being harsh because I am a woman with larger chesticles, but to me, these miracle bras are like driving off the lot in what you thought was a Mercedes only to find out you bought a Lexus. Sure, it’s still a luxury car, but it’s NOT THE SAME.
It boils down to the idea that women shouldn’t create lies about their tits. The two-cup sizes lie is the worst thing ever created. That’s like a two-inch lie from a guy. Trust me when I say that when it comes down to it, two-inches makes a big difference! lol
What say you, tit men? Have you encountered these deceptive undergarments? Are you pissed about it? Do you accept it? Does it matter? Chime in.
Cherry Brady. That lusty, busty, redhaired voluptuous vixen who sports a bra tag that reads 36G (sometimes 38G). An intelligent, active woman who loves and worships everything about tits. Who does not believe in breast reduction. Who truly comprehends the specialized mind of the tit-man. Because Cherry is a tit-woman who walks the walk and talks the talk, and we’re damn lucky she likes to share her toys.
In “Mirror, Mirror On The Wall” starting today only at XLGirls.com, Cherry models the hottest bikinis, tops and other titty-tighties, then plays with her famous heavy hangers and her cherry-fine pussy in front of a three-sided, full-length mirror. See a different side of Cherry. Like three sides of Cherry in this fresh, hot and horny vid. So who needs television?
A few SCORELAND members have noticed the ass-smothering tight jeans that some of the girls have been wearing lately and they’ve emailed or commented about it. It looks like spray-painted jeans. Today, add the sexy ass of Lana Ivans to the jeans buster club. Lana, a big ratings hit on New Years Eve with her debut hardcore video “Total Sex,” has a video in SCORE Theater today called “Tight Jeans Tight Top.” Lana models her own 36E cup bra, talks about bra shopping (she buys them in France), boobs, fucking, cock sucking and where she wants to take herself in her modeling roadmap. Then Lana takes off the super-snug jeans and gets down to wearing only the wind so her fingers can do the talking. Lana’s a happy, always smiling girl-next-door who likes to spread the joy. There’s plenty of it in this video.
This is our latest hot and horny Sunday interview video with a SCORE model. Last week was Kelly Christiansen and the weeks before her was Kitana Flores, Beshine,Dors Feline, Elaina Gregory and Natalie Fiore. A much better way to spend Sundays than watching overpaid dudes tossing a football. I’m sure Lana approves this message.
Featured on SCORELAND on Wednesday in photos from her February ’11 SCORE issue, Alana Anderson has a pair of the pointiest, most prominent nipples I can remember seeing in recent years. They really are standouts in more ways than two. She’s a cam model in California and has spent time in Florida as well since she mentioned dancing at some of the clubs we know here. Alana’s never been in a men’s magazine before us. Her first SCORE was December ’09. “I had been asked about modeling for busty mags by members who had been watching me on my live camera so I looked up SCORE and sent some pics.”
Buying bras is something Alana probably spends more time doing than the average American. “Some I try on and some I buy online. Sometimes I buy them to wear as sexy-wear if they are really pretty even if they are a little too small. To test them, I put my shirt back on over it to see if it is smooth or if my boobs look like a muffin top. I have no idea how much they weigh but they are much heavier when they are full of milk. Sometimes I wear a sports bra over my bra under my shirt if I am working out so they stay put. I am very short so I usually wear fitted clothes. I dress to emphasize the difference between my breasts and my waist otherwise I look like I’m wearing a tent. If you spotted me in public in nice weather, I’d probably be wearing a fitted, low-cut, slim-to-the-waist top with an A-line miniskirt or shorts with either platform heels or casual wedge heels.”
Daphne Rosen also calls the huge boobs, small waist result that Alana mentioned the “tent effect.”
Doctors say that men run the risk of injuring themselves when they take off a woman’s bra. A British medical journal published the case of a 27 year-old patient who suffered major ligament damage and a fracture to one of his fingers while unhooking a bra, twisting the finger when it got caught between the double straps of his friend’s bra. The man ended up with his finger in a splint for three weeks. A surgeon was quoted as saying: “It was a very nasty injury to the second knuckle down the finger. It was the type of thing that is more commonly associated with sport, particularly rock climbing.” Surveys show that 40% of men in their ‘30s and ‘40s have problems removing bras and spend an average of 27 seconds taking a bra off using both hands. The British Journal of Plastic Surgery claimed that right-handed men using their left hand took an average of 58 seconds. (One subject took an unbelievable 20 minutes. Clearly a spazz who should stay away from power tools.) Guys, I urge all of you to take extreme caution when unhooking a bra. God forbid it snaps back and hits you in an eye. Wearing protective goggles will not make you less manly. You know how Scrooge-like the insurance companies are these days. They’ll do whatever they can to weasel out of a claim.
Is there really a need for women to spend large sums of cash at Victoria’s Secret and other plush lingerie shops when the ultimate bra is available for free at their fingertips? I’m referring to the hand bra.
As you can see in these photos, the hand bra looks good and it probably feels good. Why should a woman blow 30, 40, 50 bucks on something no one’s going to see anyway? (Except some lucky guy.) The hand bra’s affordable and portable. Easy to clean. Won’t shrink or wear out. It can be worn in different ways for different looks. Want to change the style? Just put on different nail polish or wear gloves.
Karla tries a different style of hand bra.
"I don't know what I did before The Hand Bra," says Kelly.
The bra manufacturers will hate my guts for this Blog piece, but all I’m trying to do is make women look good and feel good and save them a few bucks. True, there are a few drawbacks. They’d have to get used to driving and opening doors with their elbows (typing will be a bitch), but these are minor issues.
Kelly Christiansen and Karen Fisher surround SCORE editor Dave, who's actually trying to disguise the fact that he's looking at their boobs.
Ah, there we go:
Kelly and Karen, without deer-in-headlights guy.
You’re probably wondering what 2010 newcomer Kelly and SCORE Girl-since-2001 Karen Fisher were doing in our studio together. Based on what I know, you should be wondering that. I could tell you that a “Built Like a Brick Shithouse” Convention was taking place in Miami, but that would be a lie. Actually, it was taking place in The SCORE Studio. And, yes, the last three days have been a lot of fun, thank you. More details to come, and believe me, it’ll be worth sticking around.
April 13th was National Cleavage Day in South Africa (Wonderbra was behind this holiday). August 5th was National Underwear Day. Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be a National Bra Day (or a National Pussy Lips Day, either, which irritates Dave to no end). To make up for this atrocious oversight, today is declared National Bra Day, at least on SCORELAND.
Last week’s birthday girl (August 11) Jenna Valentine is the official spokesmodel in a 100-image pictorial filled with bras, bras, bras (or brassieres, as I like to call ’em). “Brassiere” has a sexier sound to it. In fact, I’ve written a poem.
No job is too big for Janet's tits.
“Brassiere. It holds the things we love dear. It shifts our balls into second gear. So if the bra fits, she’ll have happy tits.”
Jenna is perfect in this photo shoot. I wish I had a neighbor like Jenna. I’d spend all my time in the backyard. We don’t have a matching video of this brapalooza, so we’re running a video of Jenna taking a nice, soapy bubble bath. If she had bottled that bathwater, I’m positive she could have cleaned up by selling it on eBay.
Also on SCORELAND is a video called “Household Tips From Janet Jade.” Janet washes windows with her tits in this one. They were like breast-shammies, leaving a streak-free shine. Janet doesn’t usually do windows, but she made an exception for SCORE Men. That’s not all Miss Jade does in the video because man does not live by window tittie-washing alone. Proctor & Gamble should take a look at this video. It might get some ideas for new commercials.
Just in case you didn't know, we have a whole gallery of bra specials posted inside SCORELAND. Linsey is the subject of one of them. But then again, there's a whole treasure chest of stuff at SCORELAND that you might not know about unless you dig deep.
It has been a while since we’ve checked out the SCORELAND Blog poll results, which is a shame because some of the results have been pretty interesting. For example, we asked, “If you won your favorite big-boobed model’s bra in a contest, what would you do with it?” The No. 1 answer? “Find a girl who can fit into it” with 36%. “Frame it” got 24% while “Use it either to jack or as a cum receptacle” (which is what I’d do with it) got 22%.
Amusingly, four-percent said, “Show it to your friends as ‘proof’ that you fucked the girl.” Which, to me, is weird because 1.) I don’t care who knows or thinks I fucked who, as long as I fucked; and 2.) I’m not sure that just having a girl’s bra is proof that you fucked her.
No props, no gimmicks. Karla James, standing, allows us to access her goods.
“Find a girl who can fit into it.” Okay. Fine. But are you going to walk around with the bra and have girls try it on? I’m not sure that would work…but if you do find a girl who can fit into a SCORE Girl’s bra, please send her our way. We pay generous finder’s fees.
Another poll question: “Which is your favorite way to see a busty girl modeling her tits?”
Standing, boobs hanging freely: 32%
On her hands and knees, boobs hanging: 19%
On her back, boobs splaying: 5%
On her back, pushing tits together for a tit-fuck: 15%
Sucking on one or both of her own boobs: 14%
Standing, bunching up her boobs: 15%
No surprise here: We’ve known for a while (from your comments) that you want an unobstructed view of the girl so you can assess her body. But is that your favorite jacking position, too?
I've had many conversations with Cherry Brady. Now I want to have sex with her.
Survey sez…dildos still rule! I think I've already established a thousand times that Morgan Leigh is great with a dildo, but a little reminder never hurts.
One of my favorite poll questions: “You’re with your favorite SCORE or Voluptuous Girl. You can either fuck her or have a conversation with her, but not both. Which would it be?”
Fuck her: 58%
Talk to her: 12%
This is the stupidest poll I’ve ever seen: 31%
Okay, so maybe this is the stupidest poll question ever, but obviously, it’s not that stupid because 12% of you would talk to her. While looking down her shirt, I assume. I’d fuck her, but then again, I talk to them all the time.
And, finally, perhaps our most controversial poll question ever, “Do you like to see big-titted girls using dildos in still photos?”And the surprising answer: 49% said yes and only 25% said no (with 26% saying it doesn’t make a difference). So, clearly, the anti-dildo crowd that we’ve been hearing from is a very vocal minority.
The World Cup of soccer begins Friday, and although the United States has almost no chance of winning, the U.S. is one of the dominant countries when it comes to big, natural tits. And what’s more important, soccer or tits? Exactly. Today’s video isn’t a competiton, but now seemed like a good time to post this backstage video of Tatiana Blair and Melonie Max, two of the top newcomers of 2010 and two of the stars of the new DVD More To Fuck. When the clip opens, Tatiana and Melonie are sitting on a bed with their boobs pouring out of their dresses. Bra-wise, Tatiana wears a 36G and Melonie wears a 34G. So, seemingly, their tits are the same size. But bra measurement is an inexact science, and although Tatiana and Melonie are almost equally stacked, their racks are quite different.
Okay, enough of this scientific analysis of boobs and World Cup bullshit. In all honesty, I was just looking for an excuse to get their tits out.
