Tag Archive: Hooters
Amber Lynn Bach is 40. The cock she's about to suck is 20.
Amber Lynn Bach fucks at SCORELAND today (video) and tomorrow (photos). Amber is a porn star. She’s also a wife. And a mother. I asked her about this a few months ago, and it turned out she’s passionate about the MILF issue.
“Some women are called MILFs if they’re more mature, but basically, if the woman has not had children, she’s not a MILF,” Amber said. “Just being 40 doesn’t make you a MILF.”
Amber turned 40 last summer. For me, that put her at the minimum age required to be considered a MILF. A woman cannot be 20 or 30 years old and be a MILF. Yes, I know, technically, according to the strict definition, she can, but being hot at 20 or 30 is nothing to be proud of. What makes a MILF a MILF is that a.) She’s a mom; b.) She’s a bit older; and c.) despite these facts which might otherwise work against her, she’s hot.
By the way, notice how I mentioned Amber Lynn’s age. Those of you who read SCORE might have noticed that we don’t print the models’ ages. That’s because some models don’t like telling people their age, so why would they want to shout it out in an international men’s magazine. Fine. I’m okay with that. But Amber Lynn wants the whole world to know that she’s 40 and hot.
“I’m very happy with the way I look,” Amber said.
Check Amber out today at SCORELAND. You’ll notice that the guy she’s with (who’s exactly half her age) is very happy with the way she looks, too.
Gabrielle Love and her hourglass figure, today at SCORELAND.
R.N. from New Jersey writes, “I had an experience with the April ’13 issue of V-mag that I have had only twice before in many years of reading your magazines. I wonder if other readers have ever had a similar experience. As usual, all of the girls from cover-to-cover are cock-stiffening. One model, however, is so exciting that even when I begin jacking over one of the other girls, I find myself returning to this one beauty every time for the exquisite moment of pleasure when I shoot my load. That’s what happens to me with Gabrielle Love. I have started masturbating over every girl in the issue, including three times over Siri having her way with two cocks, but I never fail to turn to Gabrielle when I cum. The pleasure Gabrielle gives me is so intense that my toes curl as I shoot. I hope you won’t laugh at me for admitting that, but it’s true.”
I mentioned this letter a few weeks ago, but I didn’t mention who R.N. was referring to. I’m mentioning it this time because Gabrielle has a new photo set, the one from the April ’13 Voluptuous, going up today at SCORELAND, and I’m glad to see that she’s getting the attention she deserves. Gabrielle has a true hourglass figure: 46-32-48. That’s impressive! You’re just not going to find many girls who have 48-inch butts and 32-inch waists. Yeah, I know, sub-30 is the magic number for waist size in this skin-and-bones obsessed society, but I want to know how many of those sub-30 girls have 46-inch chests and 48-inch hips. You don’t see a lot of girls, even V-Girls, with hourglass figures. Cherry Brady is one, and it’s no wonder she’s so popular.
By the way, the waist–a curvy waist, not a straight waist–is one of the most-underlooked parts of a woman’s body. What do most sexy girls have in common? Upper bodies that taper in and curve back out again.
Gabrielle told us, “I think that it’s great that I have what a lot of women pay lots of money to get: big tits and a big ass. I don’t mind when men look at me, either. It’s natural for men to see a woman they find attractive and react to her. I think guys should be honest and polite about it.”
Honest and polite, eh? But it’s alright if we think dirty thoughts, right? Right.
Boobs are always trendy.
After Seth MacFarlane brought big boobs to the Academy Awards ceremony, the first 25 pages of Google search were dominated by the public’s and media’s reaction to his song and dance number, “We Saw Your Boobs.”
“We Saw Your Boobs” is not a song here, of course. It’s a way of life. Actually, “Show us your boobs” was the line we used to say on the Boob Cruises.
I’m happy for Seth, but my favorite song still remains Rodney Carrington’s “Titties and Beer.” This song is built into the Jingle Jugs trophy rack, a nifty item that’s just the thing to play for your mother-in-law when she visits.
Another boob trend that’s trending is giving away a boob job as a contest prize. This is also getting a mix of yeas and nays from the populace. Philadelphia radio station Q102 and a clinic are giving away a free breast augmentation to a lucky winner. This seems to be a popular radio station giveaway as they try to attract more female listeners.
A bar owner in Des Moines, Iowa gave away $3,000 gift certificates for a boob job at his three bars this past Mardi Gras. Boob job contests are also held in Buffalo, Tampa and at a lot of other bars around the USA.
The “breasturant” industry, if you can call it that, will be getting a little more crowded as a chain called Twin Peaks spreads its, uh, wings, joining Hooters as another fine dining establishment featuring waitresses in titty-tops. More power to them even though I don’t like chicken wings.
A Twin Peaks is opening in Florida, but it’s going to be too far away for us SCORE lunchers. But experience tells me not to expect the next SCORE covergirl in these places. I’ve never seen a really busty Hooters Girl. By SCORE requirements.
And wrapping up my boob trending studies, I have to mention the best name I’ve seen in a while. She’s a 20 year-old Brit from the TV show Celebrity Big Brother. Her name is Lacey Banghard. That’s her real name. Unfortunately, Lacey got the boot from the Big Brother house by coldhearted voters last month, but I have no doubt she will continue to trend in the news for a long time.
Janet Jade was not the model for Jingle Jugs.
I have no idea what's holding up Ashley Sage Ellison's tits. She probably wouldn't dare wear this to the Oscars.
“Sleeves and Straps Are Barely There” read the New York Times headline about women’s fashion at the Oscars Sunday night. Wrote some blogger I’ve never heard of, “Starlets went strapless in all colors at last night’s Academy Awards. Jennifer Lawrence wore a white Dior haute couture dress” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Most big-boob girls don't dare wear strapless dresses, but Alexa does.
What the New York Times didn’t tell you is why so many of these “starlets” went strapless and why they were able to go strapless without any fear of a wardrobe malfunction. I am sorry to say this, BUT BIG TITS HAVE BECOME NON-EXISTENT IN HOLLYWOOD.
The art director of SCORE, whose opinion I trust, tells me that TV stars still have big tits, but movie stars have “become so anorexic that their tits disappear.”
Listen, I never thought Jennifer Aniston was stacked, but I never knew she was as flat-chested as she looked Sunday night. When host Seth MacFarlane sang that “We Saw Your Boobs” song, I was looking around like, “Where?” I wasn’t seeing any boobs.
This is, indeed, a tragedy. Once upon a time, many actresses had big tits. These ladies wouldn’t have dared to go strapless in public for two reasons: 1.) the possible wardrobe malfunction; 2.) strapless dresses, shirts and bras minimize, and why would they want to minimize?
All I can say is that the Oscars telecast was totally depressing. Halle Berry doesn’t have huge tits, but she looked like a SCORE Girl compared to her peers. And, no, she didn’t go strapless. She needed something to hold up those puppies.
Writing in SCORE about a pictorial of Terry Nova that will appear in an upcoming issue, I wrote, “[Terry] sits down on a dockside bench and leans forward to let her hangers hang. Look closely…Check out where the hanging starts (above the tops of her thighs) and where it ends (nearly at the bottom of her thighs). These aren’t just tits. They’re natural mega-tits, and Terry just might be the bustiest Czech natural ever.”
This got me thinking about perspective in big-boob photos, particularly photos of Terry Nova. We might know that a girl has big tits, but when she can easily drape them on both sides of her thighs (or a guy’s thighs) or tit-fuck them with her arm, we know they’re REALLY big. When a girl is on all fours and, without even leaning forward, her tits graze against the floor? HUGE! These visual aids enhance our appreciation of a girl’s assets.
Here are two photos of Terry Nova from SCORELAND. I’m not saying you should analyze every photo you see, but in this case, a little thought actually enhances the experience. In the photo to the left, Terry is leaning forward slightly, and yet she’s able to mash her tits between her knees. Now, I’m just guessing here, but I’m going to say that 90% of the women in the world would have to lean a lot further forward to get even a little bit of their breasts between their knees. But that’s not all with Terry. Her tits hang much further down, beyond mid-thigh. Just for the heck of it, sit down, spread your knees the way Terry is and lean forward just a bit. Then check out how much room there is between the top of your chest and the middle of your thigh.
Next, the photo to the right. Again, try to simulate the position Terry is in (legs out, turning her body to her left). Again, check out how much room there is between the top of your chest and whatever you’re sitting on. In this case, Terry’s right breast goes to mid-thigh and her left breast nearly brushes the couch.
In both of these photos, Terry is in a relaxed position. She isn’t going out of her way to make her tits hang any lower. They just do it on their own.
And that’s putting tits in perspective. You may return to mindless jacking now.
While most of the world concentrates on thin Hollywood actresses and fashion models, it’s a breast-festivus for the rest of us.
At SCORELAND, Kelly Christiansen, Brandy Dean, Rockell, Lana Ivans and Nancy Navarro are straightening things out big-time. I enjoyed seeing Lana wearing a tight outfit so much, I actually didn’t want her to get undressed. Crazy, right?
Over at SCOREVideos.com, Chantal Raye gets a grip and has the situation well in hand in a lengthy tits, tugs and throat P.O.V. video. The more I see newcomer Chantal, the more impressed I am by her pretty face, huge tits and deep-throating talents.
The big news this week at XLGirls.com is the long-awaited arrival of Sofia Rose. I’m talking 52-inch, 38JJ boobs. Sofia’s got it going with a solo as a sexy secretary and keeps the pace smoking hot in a XXX bed-shaking scene with regular XL Girls stud Tony.
If you have a busty neighbor, friend or acquaintance, tell her to check out SCOREModelsWanted.com. We might be just what she’s looking for.
Welcome beautiful Sofia Rose and her 38JJ marvels.
You’ve got to hand it to Chantal. Those tits are knock-outs.
Nancy gets a taste.
Lana Ivans points to her top shelf.
Rockell tosses a perfectly good bra.
Miss Dean has areolae the size of pancakes.
Kelly in SCOREtv Uncut & Uncensored.
Erin go Bragh-less
This is an old question that’s been tossed around for years. I would need to devote a huge amount of time to scientifically research this subject, so I’ll have to pass. Statistically, I’d guess that redheads don’t have the edge any more than brunettes or blondes do.
Seamus asked if Dave and I could compile a list of Irish and Irish-American all-time great bra-busters. Here’s one fair-skinned SCORE Girl I would include: Brandy Dean from Ohio.
Brandy has Irish-American heritage. Her 38DDD Irish taters also have areolae so large, I think of her when the waitress at the International House of Pancakes brings my short stack of buttermilk pancakes.
SCORE and Brandy have a history. Miss Dean’s first appearance was in the Holiday ’01 issue, but before that, her first photos were published in the October ’99 Naughty Neighbors when she was a newcomer discovered by Kayla Kleevage.
Brandy always looks the same. She never changes. I’m guessing she keeps that pale skin out of the sun.
Surprisingly enough, big-tit hounds don’t approach Brandy like you’d think they would. I mean, look at the cleavage on this girl. I’m sure it doesn’t bite.
“Guys look,” Brandy said. “I can see that they’re looking, but they don’t come up and talk to me. Maybe they’re intimidated. At least that’s what I think.”
It’s hard to believe, but that’s what Brandy said.
Do me a favor. If you ever see Brandy, at least please say hello to her.
I personally think St. Patrick’s Day was promoted and played up so busty Irish-American redheads would be induced to go barhopping after work and get drunk or take off work to stand in the street and watch the parades.
A set of Brandy posts today at SCORELAND.
Add butter and syrup and you're all set.
Valory Irene, 2012 SCORE Model of the Year by 14 votes.
Venera, almost 2012 Model of the Year.
Here’s my question: Did you cast a vote in the 2012 SCORE Awards contests?
Because if you didn’t…and you weren’t happy with the results…you’re about to kick yourself.
From the May ’13 Awards Issue of SCORE, on-sale now at eBoobStore.com: “And the 2012 Model of the Year by 14 votes, the smallest margin in the 11-year history of the award is…”
That’s right, 14 votes separated the winner from the girl who finished second.
“…the same girl who won 2011 Newcomer of the Year. So, by a margin of barely one-tenth of one-percent, Valory becomes the sixth girl to complete the Newcomer of the Year/Model of the Year double, joining Sharday, Merilyn Sakova, Crystal Gunns, Christy Marks and Karina Hart.”
And that’s why every vote counts. Venera finished second. Angela White was third. Beshine was fourth.
I am perfectly okay with this outcome. I think all the girls are great.
But if you’re not okay and you didn’t vote, don’t complain. You don’t have the right to complain. But you do have the right to vote next year.
Wonder what would have happened if we had counted the 100 or so ballots that came in by mail the week after the ballot box closed?
Cameron Skye is back at SCORELAND. Not that she’s been away very long. She only debuted at New Discovery last week! But the big news is that Cameron is back to yank yer crank in her first P.O.V. Tits & Tugs. I call that a good time with a bad girl who is really good. Just acting like a bad girl. And that’s good.
It starts innocently enough.
The jack starts here.
The most famous farmer’s daughter in American history has to be the sexy yet virginal Daisy Mae from Al Capp’s Lil’ Abner comic strip. Actress Leslie Parrish played her in the 1959 movie version. Capp drew curvy babes like nobody’s business.
There was a slew of R-rated drive-in movies about farmers’ daughters in the ’70s made by a gent named Bethel Buckalew. His flicks were especially popular in the south.
Elly Mae Clampett never dressed like a farmer’s daughter in The Beverly Hillbillies. She was more of a tomboy and never showed skin. (I’ve read that the actress who played her is very religious.)
Otis Sweat has drawn his share of farmers’ fantasy daughters for fiction pieces in SCORE and V-mag.
I’ve often daydreamed about SCORE or V-mag Girls tricked out as country gals. They gotta be barefoot!
You’re a traveling salesman, okay? You’re in the boondocks (which is from the Philippine Tagalog word bundok, believe it or not) when your car breaks down in front of a house. You knock on the door and the man of the house, a farmer, answers the door. He lets you use his phone to call the local gas station but the mechanic has closed shop for the day. He’ll be back tomorrow morning. Now what? Well, according to the usual storyline, you’ll have to sleep in the farmer’s daughter’s bedroom. If that’s okay with you.
No problem there when the farmer’s daughter looks like Elaina Gregory! Right? I like those pig-tails. I think this is my second favorite Elaina pictorial. My first is called Knockout Knockers.
I’d like to see more farmers’ daughters at SCORELAND. I have a list of names.
Drop by SCORELAND on Saturday to see Elaina as the farmer’s daughter.
And if you run out of gas, you’ll have to stay overnight.
Y’all come back now, hear?
Aww, shucks, Elaina. Thanks for shuckin' your clothes.