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Tag Archive: novelties
Erin Star and her nipple pumps
Erin Star has shy nipples. In today’s really big SCORELAND show, Erin uses two miniature breast pumps to coax her nipples to peek out and say hello. By tightening the screw, a vacuum is created, forming a suction. These tiny devices may look small, but they create a powerful suction. They can also be used on the clitoris.
It takes time to get used to them, so Erin keeps them on for just a short time.
Erin is a miracle of nature. And there are two of ’em! Her big sister Helen has an awesomely top-heavy rack. What a family!
Erin tries nipple screwing.
Big boob novelties for guys just got bigger with the Splat Mat from SCORE
Printed on easy-to-rinse vinyl, Splat Mats are life-sized, high quality 41-inch by 24-inch photos of SCORE and Voluptuous Girls in the most-jackable, fuckable positions.
The Splat Mat also makes a great wall decoration for your man-cave.
Choose from Christy Marks, Kali West, Karina Hart, Michelle May and Venera.
Order yours now exclusively at eBoobStore.com. Supplies are limited!
How to jerk off using the Tenga 3D Spiral…written by someone without a dick.
I am going to start this post off by saying that I don’t have a dick. I know this because I was born a woman. Also, because I checked just now, and nope, I am sans penis.
But today I am going to have a serious discussion with you about jerking off.
I will give you a moment to process that.
Okay, now your next thought should naturally be, “Why is Maria, the notoriously busty, obviously female editor of V-mag, going to talk to ME about cocking the gun? About choking the chicken? About firing the Surgeon General? About the rise and fall of Peter the Great? About one-man tug of war? About the five-digit disco? Why is Maria talking to me about saying hello to my little friend?”
Well, the answer is simple and yet, not really so simple. You see, I am going to talk to you about punching the munchkin because upon seeing the new Tenga 3D Spirals in our warehouse, I stopped and said, “How the fuck do you use one of those things?”
Here is the thing, fellas…I am a chick. We have all sorts of toys and gadgetry aimed at helping us achieve the big “O”, and even better, achieving our “O” face. For us, toys are a commonplace thing. You open our bedside table drawers and you will find things that buzz, plug a variety of holes and, more than likely, a lube we enjoy. It’s all in there. We buy this shit, I promise you.
But guys, well, you guys have long been reduced to using just your hand.
Think about that.
You, the owners of tools for every job under the sun, have no tools for your, um, tools.
Why is that?
Guys love gadgets and gizmos. They love technology and all that comes with it. So why are you guys still jacking off like cavemen?
And before you say, “My hand works just fine…” let me just say, “Hi, I have hands, too. And fingers. Nice to meet you.”
Because we chicks could use our hands to rub one out, too. And we do, in a pinch when our vibrators are not around or out of batteries. But women will tell you…our toys take us to the promised land every time and much faster and more intensely than just double-clicking our own mouse with our fingers. I promise you. If you put two women side-by-side and asked them to masturbate until they came…like a bust-a-nut race if you will…the lady with the toy would win every time. She would probably have a bunch of orgasms before the lady and her hand even got warmed up.
Why?
Because toys are designed for us to cum harder and faster than we do when we just use our hands. And now, through the miracle of modern fucking science, you can cum harder and faster than you do by just using your hands.
No, it’s true. I can’t even make this shit up.
But I figured since you are men and you need proof and visual aids and stuff that I would grab a Tenga off the shelf and acquaint myself with the art of jacking off with one. And that’s exactly what I did and documented with the help of one of our helpful photogs in the SCORELAND studio.
First off, the Tenga is fucking cool looking. It comes in a case that makes it look like something you would buy at one of those cool, “I’m a man and I love gadgets” stores. You can leave this thing on your nightstand and it won’t scream LOOK AT ME! I’M A TOY FOR YOUR DICK! And it feels awesome, too. I mean, the minute I held it, I thought, “Wow, if I had a dick, I would totally want to put it in this thing.”
And then…I used the Tenga 3D Spiral.
What transpired will go down in “Chick using a guy’s jack aid” history.
But don’t take my word for it because seeing is believing.
Below, you will find a step-by-step guide on how to jerk off with a Tenga 3D Spiral, written and directed by someone without a penis. I think that because I don’t have a dick, I am the perfect candidate to tell you how to jerk off with one of these. Mostly because I have tits and also because I am very thorough. 🙂
So check it out, and then, if you are so inclined, click HERE and check out how to get your hands on (and your dick in) a Tenga 3D Spiral.
They are priced pretty well. Trust me. I payed almost $200 for a toy once. And it needed batteries. This thing doesn’t need any batteries. It runs on man power. That’s good for the environment. That makes you a hero. 🙂
And the cleanup is pretty easy, too. They even give you a stand for it to dry on.
Clearly, whoever designed this HAS a penis.
I’m just the gal who is going to show you how to use it on your penis.
It’s 2012…you have gadgets and technology for every room in your house, your car and your life. Isn’t it time to upgrade your jack game, too?
STOP JACKING OFF LIKE A CAVEMAN!
Welcome to the future.
xoxo,
Maria
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- Place the Tenga on the stand, halfway up until it dries (about 1/2 hour) and then push it all the way down, put the lid back on it and store. OR leave it on your night stand. It’s a conversation piece. Like a good book on a coffee table.
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- Once it’s flipped, clean off the outside.
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- Then flip the Tenga inside out under the water.
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- Take your Tenga to a sink and rinse it under running, warm water.
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- Place the toy on the convenient tray for temporary storage while you collect yourself and wonder why you didn’t buy one of these sooner.
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- Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Say something like, “Oh, fuck! This feels amazing!” and then shoot your load inside of the Tenga.
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- Slide your dick inside the Tenga.
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- Get your dick ready for the ride of its life.
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- Crack open the lube and put it all over the ridge at the opening of the Tenga and pour some inside.
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- The Tenga comes with a convenient packet of lube. You can purchase more lube on the eboobstore with your order.
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- You will note that the ridges and spirals are now on the inside, waiting to take your dick to heaven, man.
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- Once you do that, it should look like this.
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- Grab the Tenga and turn it inside out.
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- The spiral texture you are looking at is actually the INSIDE of the Tenga. These spirals and ridges are going to stroke your dick.
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- Take off the case’s lid and voila! Your Tenga awaits.
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- The Tenga comes in an awesome case that makes for convenient storage. Like a garage for your cock gizmo.
Movies that tit-loving guys should own
Angelina Castro: the Miami hottie gets some booty love in SCOREtv: Uncut & Uncensored.
Big-titted stripper Stephanie can pole dance anytime at SCORE and she does in SCOREtv.
Kelly Christiansen: the guest Jay Leno must dream of inviting on his talk show.
SCOREtv Uncut & Uncensored is a spinoff of our popular Net-based SCOREtv show but with a major difference. Full, total, head-on, non-stop, XXX sex with five SCORE Girls that would give a coma patient a hard-on of steel. They give their all.
The cast is top-notch and top-heavy. You know ’em, you love ’em.
Our local Miami sex bomb Angelina Castro and exotic dance star Stephanie Stalls both get butt-boffed and cum-glazed.
The beautiful Kelly Christiansen rides a man-pole in the backstage green room before she visits the set to chat with SCOREtv host Dave.
Potty-mouthed Nadia Night demonstrates the Tenga Flip Hole on the set and gets worked up, so she runs off to relieve the stress with a dude.
And gorgeous Kali West demonstrates her blow job skills on a walking dildo on the set before they head off to a backroom for some fornicatin’ and copulatin’.
If you’ve seen the first season of SCOREtv* and the Holiday Special edition at SCORELAND, you’ll dig this movie. SCOREtv Uncut & Uncensored on DVD is on my personal recommended buy list.
There’s nothing like it. It’s the talk show that Jimmy Kimmel would like to host. Sorry, Jimbo. Dave has the job, if you can call it work.
*SCOREtv Season 1 on DVD is sold out!
Exit 2010 Enter 2011
Well, it’s been another action packed year filled with great new models, new DVDs and new projects. It would take a journal as thick as a telephone book to list everything that happened in 2010 and everyone who’s played a part. I’d like to thank our loyal supporters for having our backs once again. Without the support of the SCORE Man (and Girl) at home, the magazine, DVD and novelty buyers and the website members, SCORE wouldn’t exist, period. Despite the difficult economy and the many challenges, and the general doldrums that the world’s gone through again in 2010, it’s a fact that big boobs are as essential to survival as oxygen, food, shelter and clothing. (I haven’t decided what number big boobs ranks on that list. Definitely more important than clothing.) With SCORELAND chugging along seven days a week, XLGirls five days a week, and all the TSG sites and magazines going full speed ahead, 2010’s been a trip. We’re looking forward to more high-octane action, more surprises, more new discoveries, more group happenings, and more fun in 2011 and we hope you will ride shotgun with us for that trip too. On behalf of everyone at SCORE, thanks again for all you have done and for all you will do. Have a safe, successful 2011.
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- Group shoots: A SCORE tradition.
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- Valory Irene brought a double dose of joy.
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- Cherry Brady returned to the Hallowed Halls of Hooters.
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- Miosotis (with Arianna Sinn and Kristina Milan) is a super hit.
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- A hardcore feature film was based on the SCOREtv show.
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- Kelly Christiansen made our day, week, month, year.
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- Kaytee entered SCORELAND and made it a better place to live.
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- SCOREtv returned with a Holiday Edition.
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- Elaina, one of many exciting new discoveries.
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- The Bahamas paled compared to this group.
Women’s Tops 50% OFF
We are always improving customer service.
What’s shaking this week at our eBoobStore.com? And who’s doing the shaking?
September 2010 Voluptuous magazine rides the top of the charts. Don’t live near a newsstand or mag shop? Get it fast from us. Natalie Fiore is the H-cup covergirl. The layouts include Mianna Thomas, Melonie Maxx, Taylor Steele, Paola Rios, Raquel Grant, Angellyne Hart, Kaytee Carter, Venice Knight and Destiny Rose. Every page is produced with love, devotion and care. Your fingers will feel it.
Check for a big back-issue blow-out sale coming soon. It will be the perfect time to fill those holes in your collection. We do it all here in the SCORE building, by the way. Just like Santa’s toy shop. The eBoobStore is a one-stop shop completely operated by us. No outsourcing to staff in other countries.
September 2010 Voluptuous: no rivals come close.
Don’t like recurring charges on your credit card? Try a new payment option for our websites. SCORE‘s new WebPASS is easy to use. Pay once, get full access to the SCORE site of your choice for one full month. Your membership ends after a month, and there is no rebilling. Join again when you’re ready. Many like recurring because of the automatic renewal so they don’t have to repeat the membership sign-up process, but some don’t like it and won’t join websites because of it. WebPASS is perfect for them. The full details are inside eBoobStore.com
Now out: the latest quarterly SCORE Videos DVD and novelty mail-order catalog in a downloadable PDF version you can save on your desktop. If you don’t get our print catalog in your regular mail, check this out. The 80-page summer 2010 catalog includes More To Fuck, Maximum Minka, Boob Science, Voluptuous Xtra 12, Best of the Boob Cruise, K-JUGS, Christy Marks’ Big Bang and the 7 hour two-disc Breast of Scoreland.
On Location Grand Bahama is fresh out on DVD. In the tradition of On Location Key Largo, On Location Costa del Sol and many other group excursions over the past two decades, Grand Bahama is a fun mix of surf, sun, boobs and babes. Starring Arianna Sinn, Jenna Valentine, Karla James, Natalie Fiore and Taylor Steele. An unbeatable cast. They may have spilled more oil than British Petroleum.
On Location Grand Bahama busts out on DVD.
The official toymaker of SCORE
Cindy Cupps fucks Crystal Gunns
Some old dudes make fried chicken in a bucket. Others pitch popcorn on TV. The stuff that SCORE Girls stuff themselves with is made by this kindly old doctor in California who feels gratified knowing his products are in the night stands of women around the world. Doc Johnson has been the official toy and novelty company for SCORE since 2005. When you see a babe on SCORELAND fucking herself with a synthetic schlong, you know where it came from. The Doctor. I spoke with Chad Braverman of Doc Johnson. Chad’s the Director of Product Development and Licensing, and his dad founded the company in 1976. It may sound like a cliche but he did start it all in a garage. His first item was the eight-inch Natural Dong. Today, Doc Johnson is an orifice-filling empire with over 1500 items, and it has a lot of horny women and men to thank for it.
SCORE: How many vibrators would you estimate that Doc Johnson has sold over the past 30 years?
Doc Johnson: That’s hard to estimate, but it’s a figure well into the millions.
SCORE: Do you have people test out your products before mass production begins?
Doc Johnson: We test each product thoroughly before it is mass produced. We won’t release a product unless we’re 100 percent confident consumers will enjoy using it.
SCORE: How do you deal with so much competition?
Doc Johnson: The adult novelty industry has grown immensely since Doc Johnson launched 30 years ago, and products of every shape and size flood the market each year. The internet has revolutionized our industry. Not only has it increased sales, but it’s forced the brick and mortar shops to upgrade and improve their appearance and inventory. Because we know our space, and place a strong emphasis on research and development, we’ve stayed the recognized leader.
SCORE: Is there a company archivist that’s logged the history of the company from year to year?
Doc Johnson: Definitely. We’ve been keeping records of products and Doc Johnson memorabilia since day one. It’s amazing to look back to some of our first catalogs ever launched and catch a glimpse of history. They’re very retro to say the least, yet at the time, they were considered cutting edge.
Doc Johnson makes toys molded from the body parts of real-life porn stars. Maybe one day, they’ll do something with a SCORE Girl. Imagine a lifelike recreation of Minka’s tits, Sara Jay’s ass or Morgan Leigh’s pussy!
Only 17 Monkey Spankers left in the house
A girl, a cock, a Spanker.
This nifty man-aid called The Monkey Spanker is actually designed, manufactured and sold in England. The Monkey Spanker people tell us that some guys have their wives or girlfriends use it on them during a blow job session. A few of the male performers in our videos have said they’ve used it to stay stiff between photo shoots.
Our friend Africa Sexxx was happy to lend a hand with the Monkey Spanker. She became an expert with it very quickly. There’s a gripping video of Africa helping out in the eBoobStore and an even longer video plus a photo set on SCORELAND so you can see it in action.
We’ve been able to get some over here in the past. But now we’re down to only 17 Spankers in the warehouse. Customer Service doesn’t know if they’ll be able to import anymore. If there’s a Monkey Spanker supply crisis looming, you may want to be prepared and keep one stashed in your medicine cabinet. Africa not included.
Only 17 Monkey Spankers left in stock (not counting this one).