Mega-Boob Olympians, circa 2002. In the top row, Kayla, Maxi and Plenty. In the bottom row, Casey, SaRenna and Minka. All XXX Olympic Gold Medalists.
Haley Hills, going for the Gold!
So, I’m bouncing around from channel to channel the other day, and I head over to NBC, and the information bar at the top of the DirecTV screen reads as follows:
Am I’m like, “Really? When’s the 100-meter tit-fuck?”
So I watch, but all I got was a lot of cameltoe I didn’t want to see and flat-chested women’s gymnasts who look like they’re eight years old.
I don't watch Olympic wrestling. I watch pro wrestling. But I would watch Olympic wrestling if it was like this.
Then, today, I’m surfing the Net and I see this headline: “XXX Olympics Tops Week 46 Viewing.”
Well, of course it does. But talk about misleading advertising.
Anyway, you all know where to go if it’s XXX Olympics you’re looking for.
Yes, indeed, this is the place. SCORELAND, I mean.
Combined cup size of all female Olympic athletes other than Serena Williams: B-cup.
Combined cup size of all the models at SCORELAND: a gazillion-cup.
According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the largest group of people wearing tank tops was 3,500 on October 2, 2010 for the annual “Deni Play On The Plains Festival” in Deniliquin, NSW, Australia.
We’ve never come close to that record for SCORE Girls wearing tanks, but if quality beats quantity, I present as evidence this photo of Jenna Valentine, Karla James, Taylor Steele and Arianna Sinn from On Location Grand Bahama. There’s a world tank top record for something here. I feel it in my bone.
Tanks for the mammaries, girls.
The current world’s record for wearing the most T-shirts at once currently belongs to a gentleman from Colombo, Sri Lanka who wore 257 T-shirts on December 22, 2011. He looked like the Incredible Hulk. But even that doesn’t come close to the number of forward inches achieved by the upper-body projection of a SCORE Girl wearing just one tank top. I submit these photographs as further evidence of my claim.
Would you go into a tank with Kristy Klenot?
Shelly The Burbank Bomber's tank rockets
Tank you very much, Eva Notty
Destiny Rose and her tank stretchers
Sheridan Love: tank commander
Shelly's in control, and Juan gets what he deserves.
I don't think Juan can take much more of this.
He's not getting up. But Shelly's going to make sure he gets it up.
Her name is Shelly the Burbank Bomber.
No, she’s not a roller derby star. But you’re close.
She’s a wrestler. Not a WWE wrestler (although I think she’d definitely spice things up over there) but a mud wrestler. And an oil wrestler. And a spaghetti wrestler.
I’m telling you about her for two very good reasons:
1. She’s has G-cup tits that can’t help but pop out of whatever wrestling getup she’s wearing.
2. She’s fucking on-camera for the first time over at 50PlusMILFs.com.
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot: She’s 50 years old and kicking ass. And sucking cock. And fucking.
Anyway, this week’s postings of Shelly are interesting and unusual because before she gets around to the hardcore action (her first XXX scene ever), she demonstrates some moves on our stud, Juan Largo. Basically, she kicks his ass all over the mat. Lays the smackdown on poor Juan. But Juan manages to get up–and get it up–to give big, busty Shelly the deep-dicking she deserves.
Check her out over at 50PlusMILFs.com. I guarantee that pandemonium will be breaking loose in your shorts.