The Bucking Bronco: I got 99 problems and the boobs are one
Cassandra's boobs look lovely. If only I had any idea what to do with them…
There are two things I’ve been razzed about during my brief stint as a contributor here at the SCORELAND Blog: not having a girlfriend and jerking off too much.
For starters, while the latter is probably true, to some extent, I’ll wear that label like a badge of honor. After all, it’s not like I jerk off because I can’t get a girl. I jerk off because I can. And the simple fact that it’s the middle of the afternoon and you’re on a porn site probably means that you subscribe to a similar theory.
Whatever. That’s not really all that important right now because today, the topic of conversation isn’t masturbation. Today, I’m coming to you with a confession. Today, I’m asking you folks for a little help.
Here’s the thing. You guys like to poke fun at me for needing a girlfriend, but the truth is, I have one. And the one I have is the one you want. Why? Because she’s cute and she’s funny, and, oh right… because she wears a size 34I bra! Got your attention now, don’t I? That’s not Merilyn Sakova. That’s not Karina Hart. That’s not even Christy Marks. We’re talking Kaytee Carter territory here. We’re talking boobs so big, I don’t even know what to do with them sometimes.
And that’s, sort of, where I need your help.
I know that may sound ridiculous–needing an owner’s manual for boobs does sound pretty silly and all–but here’s the thing: I’m not a boob man. My expertise resides solely in the southern region of a woman’s body. You give me a pair of long legs and a nice ass and I can give you 8,000,000 recipes for warm, delicious pussy pie. But you put a ripe rack in front of me and I can’t even figure out how to turn the oven on.
Now that’s not to say that I don’t like boobs. Nothing could be further from the truth. My girlfriend’s boobs are a thing of beauty. I just don’t have that deep, heartfelt appreciation for them that you folks seem to have around here. I see boobs as merely something to play with. You guys see boobs as something to be placed upon a pedestal and worshiped.
Which is fine because I’m pretty sure they should be. I just don’t understand why, exactly.
So help me out, SCORELAND zealots. Help me understand your boob-based religion. What am I missing? What is it about a woman’s rack that I’m clearly missing but you all see? Help me get inside the mind of a boob lover because until then, I have a feeling I might be wasting something that you all would be very happy to take off my hands.
Tags: boob appreciation, Cassandra Calogera, guest blogger, Kaytee Carter
Categories: Confessions, Guest Bloggers
im with boobdude bronco, let me have a couple of hours with your girl and ill show you what to do with her titties…. watch and learn my friend….
Big boobs are, quite simply, a lifelong obsession. And as I have got older, my appreciation for ever bigger boobs has expanded, especially if a pair of huge, pendulous breasts is accompanied by a voluptuous, curvaceous body.
If others are not blessed with this affliction, there is little I can do to explain the importance big boob appreciation holds in my daily existence. All I can say is: I love my obsession, and thank you Scoreland for feeding it so magnificently!
The facts:
-jerking off is the fave topic
-Icup gf
-still wants to talk about jerking off
-blogging for the Boob Bastion of the world
-rather talk about jerking off
My friend, you need to sit in the dark with a pair of boobs.
If you don’t feel at the very least euphoric, you my friend
Are taking tits for granted which is a crime. You had me @ i-cup & lost me @ not knowing what to do with them….
I agree, either your built for tits or your not.
(Still waiting for the Maria showcase!)
@Chris: 🙂 Ty. I think our readers rock. xo
oh, btw, if your reading/subscribing to score/v-mag you are definetly wired for big tits.
@elliot
i dunno about that. i have yet to meet another guy that has not been turned on by big titties on a girl. i bet if you put two girls side by side, one w/a nice rack and one w/a small chest, 9 outta 10 times the guy is gonna pic the big titty chick. even if she’s a drooling moron. and if she is a drooling moron, that’s prolly gonna increase your chances of getting laid.
(i know ladies, i’m such a pig)
try it out elliot, let’s see what happens. post some pics and let us decide.
Bronco, if you don’t know what to do when presented with a spectacular pair of I-cup breasts, I’d be happy to SHOW you.
I have to throw in that I’ve met Bronco’s girlfriend and her rack is sensational. He’s not BS’ing anyone. She’ll never model and I know not to even bring up the idea.
You’re either hard-wired in your brain as a breast-man (or breast-woman) or you’re not, so I don’t think anyone can be turned towards the boob side of the force if they don’t grasp it.
Bronco, if you think every other blogger except for you is a “zealot”, why do you care what we think? It seems to me that you already realize that Scoreland caters to more than just “boob lovers”. Otherwise you would be spanking your monkey somewhere else.
ok, uh, lemme get this straight. you’ve got a hot g/f with a nice rack and you don’t know what to do…
dude, are you sure you’re not GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You just need to start singing some good songs like
“Gimme that boobtime religion”
Gimme that boobtime religion!
Gimme that boobtime religion!
It was good enough for Hefner and it’s good enough for me!!
Bronco, you just don’t get it. All this column is going to do is alienate you from the readers even more. We like reading Maria, Elliot and Dave because we feel conected to them (in some weird way.)
You started off talking about a somewhat taboo subject like jerking off in your first column and then proceeded to tell us about your girls huge boobs and how they are wasted on you.
Try realating to your readers, if you need lessons ask Maria for help. She Rocks!