The Bucking Bronco: St. Patrick’s Day, Drunken Sex Advice Edition

March 17, 2010 by Guest Blogger 6 Comments
Karla James: Rendering beer goggles unnecessary.

Karla James: Rendering beer goggles unnecessary.

It’s St. Patrick’s Day, and you know what that means, don’t you? It means that every guy in the bar tonight will throw on the beer goggles and try to fuck anything that walks. And probably some inanimate objects, too.

The idea of beer goggles was always funny to me. We drink and we drink until every girl at the bar becomes pretty, at which point we can then take them home, fuck them and not be disgusted with ourselves. You know, because we’re such fucking studs that we have to be absolutely bombed to go dumpster diving with a girl who isn’t a fucking super model. Or, you know, maybe it’s just our own insecurities. Beer goggles don’t transform ugly girls into pretty girls. They transform uptight douchebags into normal human beings.

We say that being drunk is an excuse to fuck someone we wouldn’t normally fuck, but the truth is, WE WOULD ABSOLUTELY FUCK THAT GIRL! We just don’t want to get made fun of by our male friends who are hiding behind those same exact insecure thoughts. Sometimes, as men, we really are just that stupid.

That’s why being shit-faced is great. When you’re THAT gone, you’re not thinking about anyone other than you. That girl on the dance floor who’s more Khloe than Kim (Kardashian)? The girl at the bar who may be packing a little extra around the midsection? You’ll totally try to fuck those girl in the parking lot now! And that’s good, because one of them might be the blow job champion of her hometown. And the other one might secretly love anal. And you wouldn’t have known any of that if you were too busy being terrified of what one of your insecure, jackass friends was going to say about you the next day.

If you’ve ever been one of those douchebag guys–and believe me, we all have–don’t go feeling bad about it now. It’s human nature to be insecure. You just need a way to overcome it. That’s why, this St. Paddy’s Day, I want you to go out and get hammered. I want you to drink till you’re blind and can’t form complete sentences. I want you to do as many Jägerbombs as it takes to break free from the shackles of your own insecurities and fuck the girl with the hairy arms.

Because you never really know what you’re missing out on until you ride it like a drunken cowboy.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Now go fuck something.

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6 Comments

  • Leonardo

    It seems Score can’t take a photo correctly.
    “The” great boob-hanging photo is directly in front, straight on, with both arms not touching the ground.
    Have another go?

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  • Leonardo

    What is a beer goggle and why do we have to have more than one?

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  • Leonardo

    How do you get a guy in the bar?
    A bar is made of iron.
    In high-jumping it is doweling about 6 feet long and it put between two posts.
    How do you get a guy into that bar?
    He must be a skinny guy.

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  • Leonardo

    A man walks into a bar. That is why his heads hurts.

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  • Adam

    @Leonardo: For future reference, you’re supposed to follow all of that up with a, “Thanks! I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.”

    Rookie.

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  • Bob

    Re: Karla James pic 25850, Superb, Great,(new) Model. Sadly, Artistic attempt otherwise excellent, failed with pottery flower pot ruining Her Blessed Hanging left Hooter view. Accidental, yes, but ruining. Unlike intentional ruining, like red fishnet ruining view and definition of Prime Top Quality Superior Beings among SG’s best: Lorna Morgan BS “artistic” red fishnet on her Natural Blessed TITits in Chesty Preggos 2 DVD (LM solo, the others have d ick). Bra shots can be be great. Terry Nova’s red fishnet BS in the way SC0510 pages 91-97 show where the guy’s dick hole could be split in several pics. Terror, trepidation besides ruined views. Re-do/supplemental new photo set of Terry Nova for Voluptuous. SC0610 Faith pages 36-43 black Pantyhose ruins view of Labia & crease. Etc. Some lesser models it is less important. For the fetish people, SC1009 pages 78-83 June Summers Greatness (esp. Nips) is not ruined by fishnet Stockings. Stockings-ok. Pantyhose-Not.
    Maria Guerrero: Thanks for the Renee Ross CF VO1009. Please have a Merilyn Sakova Uber Supreme Being photo set continued from SC0510, But with breast pump Suction. Nip/Nips Clearly Sucked into the pump(s). Overwhelming photo set & overwhelming Wonderful Woman. Thank God. Soon after have Incredible Ines Cudna pumping her Stunning Long Nips &/or Luscious Long Labia Lips. Eat heart healthy vitamins, minerals, etc. for clean circulation to avoid heart attacks.
    Elliot James: Thanks for the 030410 pic of Chelsea Charms birthday 030710. How about joint photo sets together or separately Chelsea Charms And Minka “Gash Of The Titans” to coincide with the 3-D/2D movie remake “Clash Of The Titans” release 040210. Romantic & fun & kind not versus & challenges. It would be easy to forget their Labia given beyond Hooter Heavens. Score used to do these as comparisons and challenges. And Gashes of Lily Valentine and Trudi Stephens Supreme LABIAS. Some archive pics of Lisa Chest would help to show her rightful place in Score Big Boob Hall of Fame. TawnyPeaks, PandoraPeaks, LauraSands (BeckyClay), TinaCheri, ToppsyCurvey, Vanessa!!, LisaPhilips, TrinityLaren-PPM&SpreadLabia, WinonaLind, VeronicaZemanova, TracyWest, TraciTeeze, TraciBurr, TraceyNeve, TabathaTowers, RobertaPedon, SaraMercury, JustaDream, MichelleMarsh, LucyPinder, AdeleStephens, Joana, DanniAshe are all beyond Blessed Goddesses, Hall of Fame Quality, worthy of Full page archival photo sets.
    Maria, you could bring Alexis Love out of retirement again as any persona &/or old pics of her as a brunette. Also, skip the mean, sadistic ladies even the beautiful A il een Getmen Ghettman. You are suppose to protect us from treachery, trauma, and S&M. A few Programmable young guys (and geezer Bob Guccione) may not care or may like seeing ones hurt themselves. Maria, thanks for being fun, sharing the excitement and joy.

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