Good day, boob lovers!
I have a quick, little story about what I like to call, Seeing Boobs on the Sneak. (Maybe some of you call it being a peeping Tom. Or, if we need to be fancy, Voyeurism. I call it Seeing Boobs on the Sneak because it just feels right.)
But on with the story…
So there is this lady who lives next door to me…let’s call her Cougarella. She is in her 40s and in decent shape. She has these huge bazoombas. She’s augmented. She has an Amber Lynn Bach-type of body. She isn’t too hard too look at, that’s for sure. I bump into her in the mornings when I am getting my paper or when I am on my way out the door to come to SCORE. She is always outside on the front lawn watering her flowers and she is ALWAYS wearing something SCANDALOUS. I’m talking about teeny-tiny shirts and shorts or little, cotton dresses that show off the goods like a display case. It’s kind of Mrs. Robinson-ish, if you ask me. She flirts with everyone and everything in the neighborhood, and we all sorta flirt back. Dave would probably call her a Divorcee On The Prowl in 40Something magazine, for sure. She is, for the most part, the neighborhood MILF and probably the most-discussed lady on the block. The women hate her. (Not me, since I am neither married, nor have children, so she poses no threat to my existence.) The men LOVE her. And the teenagers find excuses to congregate near the end of her driveway to sneak a peek at her, um, peaks. lol
So, the other day I was BBQing in my backyard. I want to put that out there right away…I WAS IN MY BACKYARD, and I happened to be staring at my fence while I flipped some steaks. That’s when I saw her. Cougarella. Right through the slats in the fence posts. Naked as the day she was born. In a gardener’s hat, gloves and those hideous Croc shoes that should be banned. But the rest of her was naked. NAKED! I kinda went, WTF?! But I couldn’t look away. WHO COULD LOOK AWAY? She was humming and trimming some shrubbery and every time she moved, her tits would sway. It was a sight to behold.
Unlike my usual stare-like-a-pervert antics, I managed to tear my eyes away from Cougarella’s display and remind myself to plant trees, tall ones, along my fence. But her display didn’t end there. You see, my bathroom window faces her house, and a few days later when I was in the shower, as I lathered up my hair, I happened to look out the window, and lo and behold! There she was again! This time, she was in her bedroom and her windows were wide open and she was changing. She didn’t have a bra on. She was trying on tops. And her tits were in my line of vision again! Hard nipples. In my eyeballs! So, yeah, I stared a little. How could I not? I mean, that same window she was standing in is visible from the street, too. Surely, I was not the only one checking out this naked woman…was I?
So, I made it my mission to start asking around about Cougarella’s nudity. First person was my neighbor across the street, a retired police officer. We will call him Officer Krupke. When I asked, Officer Krupke laughed and told me that she would put on the topless window show every day at 3 p.m. without fail. “Weekends, too!” he said, smiling. “I always mow my lawn at 3 p.m. on Saturdays so I can get a good look. She’s a looker, that one.” A wise man, that Officer Krupke.
Then I asked my other next-door neighbor, Mrs. Rodriguez, a housewife and a general Cougarella-hater. Her report confirmed that Cougarella had been putting on the tit-show for over a year now. Except when she told me, it wasn’t as happy-go-lucky as Officer Krupke’s report. “That fucking slut! I want to claw her fucking eyes out. I’ve caught my husband looking at her. She has no shame! You should say something to her about that. She is your neighbor, you know.”
Her request that I say something got me thinking. Should I say something? I mean, she was naked and I could see her. Shouldn’t I give her the heads up? But then I started thinking…what if Cougarella wanted us to look? What if this MILF got her kicks being an exhibitionist? Who was I to ruin her good time and, apparently, the good time of all the penis’ed folk in my neighborhood?
I mean, voyeurism…sometimes it happens, right?
Which brings us to the point of this blog. What would Scorelanders do? Would you say something? Would you continue to peep? There is a part of me that feels pervy for looking, but then there is a part of me that enjoys her blatant nudity.
(And there’s a part of me that wants to ask her to pose for SCORE, too. lol)
Chime in, big-tit lovers. I love when you voice your opinions.