Tarzan is not a bra fitter. He’s more of a pipe fitter, if you get my drift.
We pitilessly threw him into the role and gave him a tape and the incredible Roxi Red to measure. This is like strapping a new Cessna pilot into the commander’s chair of the space shuttle. Roxie blew his mind and then his pipe.
Roxi shocks professional bra fitters with 30 years of experience. One of the world’s biggest natural mammary marvels, Roxi knows that countless breast-men want to get their mitts on her tits. Her cleavage engulfs any skin bus that drives through it.
After the measuring comes the pleasuring. See it today!
I’m not saying that male bra fitters have the opportunity to bone their customers. I don’t want to piss off the Bra Fitting Specialists’ union. But this looks like a really good job, even though it only pays around $7 an hour.
Okay, it’s only September 13th but I want to go over who’s new, hip, hot and happening at SCORELAND this month because a lot is going on.
On September 2, Kalila Kane arrived for the Big Show. Kalila is slim, exotic, stacked and slinky. She comes to us courtesy of a friend who is a SCORE fan. Kalila says “I just started training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and I’m teaching myself to play the piano. I trap, have fixed and release feral cats in the D.C. area. I currently have a 1992 Kawasaki Ninja Ex250 motorcycle that I’m fixing up. I’m really into group sex and consensually forced sex at the moment, so most of my fantasies revolve around that. Having sex when it’s kind of wrong satisfies me.” Okay, I’d like to see her do a XXX video for us. She had me at altruistic stripper and Kawasaki Ninja 250.
On September 5, Jazmine debuted. A pretty, slim-n-stacked bikini beach bunny, Jazmine went straight from New Discovery to boy-girl in the space of two days. She’s got a rack and she’s on track. In this era of instant gratification, it’s interesting to observe that here’s someone who waited to do a XXX scene, even if it was for a day. I’m not quite sure why Jazmine waited so long but I’m sure the Boob Brotherhood was happy about it. Jazmine likes doggie-style, oral sex, her hair being pulled, being finger-fucked and spanked. “I try to have sex every day,” says Jazmine. If she’s gonna have sex every day, she might as well do it here, right? Why keep it a big secret?
On September 10, Rockell hit SCORELAND like an asteroid. In other words, a heavenly body. SCORE doesn’t get many models from Alabama. “I love being nude. If I could be a nudist and do it in Alabama, I would. But I turn heads wherever I go, topless or not.” I absolutely believe that and I think that being seen at SCORELAND is Rockell’s big break-out move. I also think the magazine readers who pay little or no attention to this thing called the Internets are going to go ga-ga-gazongas over Rockell. She has the kind of easy-going, relaxed, having-fun vibe I got from Kerry Marie, Jessica Turner, Lorna Morgan as well as from Valory, Terri Jane, and Kaytee Carter.
On September 12, Roxi Red exposed her shock and awe inspiring K-sized wonders for the first time. Dave, Maria and I felt like we were Tasered. Memories of the mammaries of Sammie Black, Jenny Hill, Mianna Thomas, Miosotis, Vanessa Del and Kristina Milan flooded my brain. Roxi is a rare one! “In high school, I went from DD to H to K,” said Roxi. “I was always interested in becoming a model but I was always told that my boobs are too big. But I’m happy to be where I’m at now. This is the first time I’ve ever done any adult modeling.” The swine who dictate to the sheep of society what models should look like would not give Roxi her due but we are happy to place her on a pedestal. You can also get some really good boob angles when they loom over you.
And tomorrow, a new SCORE wife enters these Hallowed Halls of Hooters and she’s going for the big enchilada with special sauce. Barbie Kelley is the spouse of a reader who has collected and kept every single issue of SCORE and Voluptuous ever published. That’s 20 years. He could have kept his own SCORE wife to himself yet they chose to share her with the big-boob world and to enjoy seeing their own fantasies come to life. Now it’s official: Barbie has joined the League of Extraordinary Busty Housewives of SCORE. “If I am going out, I usually wear a bra. Around the house, all bets are off and you’ll be lucky to find me in any clothing if I am home.” Lucky man!
I’d like to point out that we’re only through half the month. So stay tuned.