A Valentine from us to YOU!
Hello Boob Lovers!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
I am sure for most of you this is a day filled with ass-kissery to the lady loves in your lives. You know how it goes…you have to take her out to a fancy dinner. You have to buy her something sparkly. You have to “make love,” which we all know is the pretentious, drawn-out, slightly soap-opera-ish cousin to our fave…”fucking.” Valentine’s Day is tough on dudes. I get it. (Even though I am a chick, believe me, I get it. And besides, I don’t have a Valentine of my own this year, so I am allowed to shit all over this holiday meant to make single gals like me turn to chocolate and our vibrators for comfort. lol)
But I ask you this, boob brethren, WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR PRESENT? I don’t see chicks bending over backwards for you on this day. Oh, no. And that, my friends, is biased bullshit. Where is the love for the dudes? WHERE IS THE SPECIAL TREATMENT?
So, on this Valentine’s Day, I have decided to give YOU a Valentine.
Jenna Valentine, that is. 🙂
Jenna is one of my boobied, cutied faves because she is funny, has a great rack and she is pretty damn hot. (She also has a shy nipple that doesn’t get hard right away and will make you want to suck on it until it does.) And she is into chicks, which means that in my imagination, I have banged her a few times. (Okay, more than a few times. lol) When Jenna was here last, Dave and I hung out with her and took her measurements because this sexy lady from California (She talks like a Valley girl and whereas most times I would find that annoying, when this pale-skinned hottie does it, it’s a huge turn-on!) claims that she was a double-F because she didn’t fit an F. And you know what? Jenna knows her body because she was right. She’s a FF-cup. And I got to be THIS CLOSE to her as I measured her, and I am NOT complaining, because unlike my blogging cohort, Adam, I know what to do with a big pair of tits. (LOL! Sorry Adam, you asked for it, buddy.)
Plus, I taught her how to make her boobs bounce and that is the gift that keeps on giving.
So enjoy this Valentine from us to you because goddamn it, you’re special and you deserve something nice on this ridiculous chick holiday, too!
xoxoxo
Maria