Tag Archive: boob shame
December 3, 2012 by Maria
This weekend, two things happened to me which are noteworthy.
The first is that I was suckered with pizza and beer into helping a friend paint his new apartment . (Really, I did it because I am a good friend, but beer always improves house painting, I think.)
The second is that I found myself at Home Depot buying paint.
While that is not of note necessarily, what happened at this hardware mecca is.
You see, when I go to Home Depot, I get hit on alllllllllllll the time. It’s a store fueled by testosterone and tools. Within its confines, you will find all kinds of men doing and buying things that are manly. Husbands, construction worker types, college-aged jocks, burly older types all walking around and checking out the goods.
And by the goods, I mean the few women that are in the store looking lost and unsure of themselves. (Tools and home improvement are not most women’s cup of tea.) So, whenever I find myself at Home Depot, there are men looking at my boobs in every aisle.
Sometimes they approach me and sometimes they just gawk at me, but the bottom line is, if you have a big rack like I do, or a big ass like most of the women in Miami do, you are getting hit on. That is a fact.
Women approaching women in stores and striking up conversations about tits doesn't JUST happen in pornos.
That is why I was so confused when this tiny old lady came up to me and in very hushed tones asked me if I spoke Spanish. When I replied that I did, she leaned in and asked me where I bought my bras.
“My daughter,” she said while motioning with her head to a busty teen girl about 10 feet away. “She has big breasts like you and her bras don’t fit her right. Her breasts don’t look nice. Yours look nice. Where can I buy her the right bras?”
Now, the guys who I was with all looked shocked that this woman was discussing my breasts and comparing them to her daughter’s, too. But I didn’t even bat an eyelash. Maybe it’s because I work in porn. Or maybe it’s because I am used to people talking about my breasts. I just launched into an explanation about the importance of getting fitted for a bra and knowing your true bra size.
After a few minutes, I could tell that this mother, who had tiny breasts by the way, was not understanding what I was saying. Maybe it was my Spanish? Or maybe, because she didn’t have big breasts, she just didn’t understand the process of finding a bra that fit.
I then offered to speak to her daughter directly.
I walked up to the girl, who looked to be dying of embarrassment at the moment, and told her, “Your mom says you are having trouble finding bras…”
And instead of having an open conversation about what was clearly a problem for her (Her wrong-sized bra was riding up her back and her breasts were being pulled down by too-small, ill-fitting bra cups.), she totally freaked out.
“I don’t have a problem with my bra. I am fine,” she replied nervously.
“I can help you figure out what the problem is so they fit better,” I said.
“No, no. I am okay,” she countered. And then she walked away and I turned to her mother and said, “She doesn’t seem to think she needs help with her bras. I hope I gave you the info you needed.”
And that was that.
But I realized right there and then that this girl was suffering from Boob Shame. She was at the awkward stage of having big boobs where you try to deny their bigness because you don’t want to look different from everyone else. She was in denial and didn’t even want to talk about her boobs because they embarrassed her. Granted, I’m a stranger, and maybe she was uncomfortable talking to me about them, but she looked like she couldn’t talk to anyone about them. If she did, she would have asked someone, maybe at one of the many stores her mother mentioned that she’d been to, about her bra size.
It made me realize and remember how tough it is to have big boobs when you are younger. Young women have to come to grips with their big boobs and embrace that they are going to be big and that’s that. But it’s tough. In a world full of flatties, busty girls stick out like a sore thumb. And at a young age, they deal with a lot of teasing and terrorizing by their less-busty class mates and peers. I can’t tell you how many busty models have told me stories about being teased and ridiculed at the age when their boobs started growing bigger than their friends’ boobs. I can’t tell you how difficult and frustrating it was for me to find bras when I was younger.
I saw Little Miss Boob Shame again at the checkout, and she was covering her boobs with crossed arms and looking notably upset. I didn’t want to push the envelope further, but I walked over and handed her my number.
“I know it’s embarrassing to talk about, but if you ever want some advice on how to buy the right bra, you can contact me,” I said. And then I walked away.
And that was that.
I hope she calls.
If I can help her embrace her top-heaviness at a young age, she will have an easier time adjusting to them overall.
And that’s how we do away with Boob Shame…one pair at a time.
xoxo
Maria
April 2, 2012 by Elliot James
Yersterday, Maria blogged about “Boob Shame.”
Today, I am going to tackle what may be one of the causes of boob shame.
Boob prejudice.
Breast bigotry.
Cleavage discrimination.
On this day, I am going to rant and rail against what we at SCORE have called “boob prejudice” in society.
It can lead to girls wearing clothes and bras that minimize their chests, something that sucks big time.
Street creeps making filthy comments to busty girls walking past them might be the most obvious and blatant example of boob prejudice, but it’s not as insidious as:
Employers declining to hire women because they have large breasts, thinking that the bustier the woman, the dumber or more incompetent she is.
School teachers treating busty students poorly, thinking that for every rise in bra-cup number, the IQ number is lower.
Classmates bullying or making fun of a well-endowed classmate.
Stand-up comedians heckling busty audience members.
Busty politicians being criticized…no wait, skip that. There are no busty politicians. Why? Because boob-bigots won’t vote them into office!
Do U.S. companies show boob prejudice against busty job applicants?
Instead of going on and spewing my dissatisfaction like this, I’m going to publish some excerpts from our interviews so the models themselves can recount the big-boob prejudice they have encountered.
Tatiana Blair: “I never had any trouble with the boys. It was the girls who were very mean to me.”
Melonie Max: “I was teased. A lot. It was rough while I was growing up. The girls hated me. But all the boys liked me. And I was always the new girl in town because my step dad was in the military, so I moved around a lot. So, I was always new and all the girls hated me and all the boys liked me.”
Autumn-Jade: “I thought I was a freak of nature. I had these really big boobs and I didn’t know what to do with them. Not like now. They called me names like watermelon patch or jugs. I would just look at them and laugh at them. I wouldn’t let them know that they hurt my feelings.”
Autumn had a ball.
Brianna Costello: “When I’m at the car wash, people just stop and stare, and I really think that when they’re looking at me, they’re having judgmental thoughts about my big boobs. A lot of them aren’t looking at my boobs because they like big tits, although I know a lot of the men do. They’re looking at me because they’re thinking things like, ‘Oh, she has no class,’ or, ‘She’s not a proper Southern lady,’ whatever that is. So I’ve come up with naming them boob-prejudiced people.”
Joy Juggs: “All of the girls’ boyfriends looked at my boobs, and they all wanted to talk to me, and the other girls didn’t like that too much. They all thought I was trashy and slutty and slept around a lot just because I had big boobs. At that time, I was actually still a virgin.”
Bre: “One time, we were at this pep rally and all these guys were saying, ‘You stuff your bra! You stuff it with toilet paper!’ I lifted up my shirt and I said, ‘Yeah, that’s right. I stuff it with my titties.’ I got in trouble and got suspended. I was always getting in trouble in school. That’s why I had to home school. I would always get sent to in-school suspension for wearing little skirts and little tops. I hated school because I always got into trouble for no reason, just because of what I wore.”
There’s a lot more of this on-file, but I’m starting to boil over with anger and rage re-reading it. So let’s move on to some happier recollections because I can’t handle any more personal recounts of boob prejudice.
Michelle May can hold her own against bullies.
Michelle May: “I got a lot of smiles and winks from a lot of the guys. I wouldn’t say that I was hated on because I went to school in California and everyone showed a lot of skin. I mean, it is commonplace for people to walk around half-naked in California. I would say that I was the flavor of the week for maybe a week and then people got over it. I got the nickname Shelly Big Boobs and Tits McGee. It was all in good fun. No one ever went out of their way to be nasty to me.”
Kaytee Carter: “If a guy comes up to me and says, ‘You have big tits,’ I’ll say, ‘You’re a fucking genius.’ And I make fun of him. If a guy comes up to me and says, ‘You have ginormous tits,’ I’ll make fun of him, but I’m not mad at him.”
Carrie Ashton: “A lot of the guys would say stuff about them, but I think it was more, um, perverted than malicious. They wanted to touch them or talk about them. All of the girls pretty much left me alone.”
Joy Juggs: “The guys all treated me very well. Anything I wanted, they would get for me. If I needed my pencils sharpened, they would sharpen them for me. If I forgot to do my homework, they would do it for me. That all started quick when I got into high school. I think I caused a lot of problems with guys and girls. Not on purpose, mind you.”
Jasmine Shiraz: “I got away with murder. I could do just about anything and I wouldn’t get in trouble with the male teachers. I remember throwing something at one of my teachers, and I didn’t get in trouble at all.”
Boob prejudice must be stamped out in our time. Instead of spending more money on another war in the Middle East, our tax money should be allocated to public education and awareness to eliminate this form of social discrimination.
April 1, 2012 by Maria
Here we see Gabriella Michaels in a constricting sports bra. Granted, she is running and they should be strapped down, but some women wear these kind of boob squishing bras on a daily basis just because. I call that Breastphemy! Breast Blasphemy!
So, I am going to rant a little and I ask that all of you bear with me because I have been witness to something that I consider to be a crime and I need to talk about it.
Today I am going to go off about minimizer bras and tight sports bras.
First of all, if I could, I would do away with these inhumane tit prisons that squash, squeeze and flatten the life out of the breasts that we hold dear.
I mean, who invented these tata traps, anyway?
As a woman who has worn these torture devices, I can honestly say that they are NOT comfortable. I have worn a minimizer before to flatten my breasts into submission so I could wear a button-up shirt, buttoned up to the top. First of all, who wants to button their buttons all the way up? Second of all, busty women shouldn’t be wearing button up shirts that don’t show cleavage.
Why am I talking about this?
Well, I am sick and tired of seeing busty women stuffed into these things. I am tired of the way that they look misshapen and bulky, like their breasts are suffocated and trying to burst free. Have you seen a woman in one of these things? She looks like a tube of toothpaste that someone stepped on but didn’t take the cap off of.
It really hurts my feelings.
Granted, if you are going to go for a run or get on a Stairmaster, then by all means, strap those puppies down. But I see women wearing these tit-squishing bras every day and they are NOT in the gym.
In fact, I met a girl who told me that she wears them because she doesn’t like her boobs and tries to push them down out of the way.
I know…I, too, was shocked.
But that is what I like to refer to as “Boob Shame.” That is when a busty chick has been taught to hate her boobs.
I know, it’s crazy.
I will go further into detail about that in another blog.
For now let’s discuss how big breasts should be celebrated. They should be put in pretty bras that showcase them, not in tight, constricting bras that flatten them. Tits are glorious. They should not be hidden or strapped down.
It really upsets me.
What about you guys? I want to hear your opinions.
Okay…rant over.
xoxo,
Maria
Gabriella's tits look happier in this bra...don't you think?
