Hot & Cold: How the weather dictates fashion…and boners
This is what we imagine winter looks like in the North Country.
This is how we imagine chicks look when it gets warm in the North Country.
Dave and I had a conversation about the weather yesterday that sparked today’s Blog topic.
I know, I know…you are shocked that Dave and I talk about the weather when there are so many tits to converse about. But sometimes we are boring.
That was a lie.
Dave is boring, but I like him anyway. 🙂 (I’m hardly boring, ever.)
Our convo about the weather led to a discussion about what I like to refer to as the “Half-Naked Phenomenon,” which is what happens when the weather goes from very cold to hot all of a sudden, awakening women’s inner slut and inspiring them to cavort around in the sunshine in tiny outfits.
Not that we are complaining about that at all. Oh, no.
But I want to point out that it happens, and it happens A LOT.
This is how girls dress in Miami all the time. Sorry, we WIN.
This week, our friends to the north are experiencing a heat wave. I know this not because I watch the Weather Channel but because all over Twitter, people were tweeting about 90-degree weather in Brooklyn. (I am formerly from New York and I follow a lot of New Yorkers, what can I say?) But more than, “Oh, fuck it’s hot!” and, “It’s boiling in here!” tweets, what I saw were tons of tweets about summer dresses, of all things.
Men were tweeting about the return of the tiny summer dress after months of boots and sweaters and coats and scarves. It seems that the minute the hot weather arrives, people in the North get an influx of a lot of skin, and it, apparently, makes them bat-shit crazy and launches boners all over the place. It’s as if their dicks were hibernating for the winter and all of a sudden their libido comes out of its cave in search of food. (I just made my first official hibernation reference on this blog. lol)
And I get it. I really get it. I would imagine that the return of skin-baring and partial nudity would get me excited if I was subjected to snow and all the bundling up that entails.
But here is the thing…
We live in Miami, and we have no clue what the fuck that whole situation is like.
Here in Miami, it hardly ever gets cold. Sometimes it goes down to 35 degrees and we freak out, but that’s about it. Our winter weather consists of about a week when chicks wear boots and one, light, tight sweater. That’s it. We do not suffer the pains of snow. We do not suffer the droves of women dressed in layers of goose down that make them look like misshapen, burly men.
We don’t.
You see, when our week of winter is over, our women go back to wearing what they normally wear…close to nothing at all.
🙂 Not that I am rubbing it in or anything. I am just pointing out that living here beats living there and that if you like skin and nudity, you should probably move to Miami.
Plus, that’s where SCORELAND HQ is located, and that makes Miami even better.
Tits and sunshine…it’s what we do!
xoxo,
Maria