M.W.H.P.F.T.W. or, Men Who Hide Porn From Their Wives
Are you surfing the Internet for porn and hiding it from your better half?
One of the best things about working where I work is that I can watch porn on my computer and no one cares. I will have conversations with people at my desk while some stacked babe is getting some meat in her taco and her breasts cordon bleu’ed and no one even so much as bats an eyelash.
And being a single gal, if I want to watch porn on my own time…I do so on my very large flat-screen television. Loudly. So my neighbors know what is going on. Or, at least they can imagine something is going on and probably hate me. 🙂
But, I started thinking about all of you tit lovers out there who belong to the exclusive M.W.H.P.F.T.W. club.
As in M.W.H.P.F.T.W…. Men Who Hide Porn From Their Wives.
I know that this group of men exist because lots of my guy friends belong to this club. While I am watching porn out in the open, these guys are hiding porn and watching it in the weirdest of places. (One of my friends has to wait until his wife goes to yoga class and even then, locks himself in their bathroom and flushes the toilet repeatedly in case she comes home unexpectedly and wonders what the fuck he is doing in the bathroom for so long!)
Are you sitting in front of your computer, waiting for a moment alone to log on and get off?
It made me start thinking about those of you that buy DVDs, watch porn from your mobiles and/or buy magazines.
I am sure the guys who buy DVDs are either single or have wives who are cool with porn. Cause it’s an actual DVD. You have to physically store it somewhere, right? I assume guys who like to wank to dirty magazines, (And you should be all wanking to V-mag, in my humble opinion!) like the portable and disposable commodity that a magazine provides. But they are physical items, too, so hiding them also presents a problem. That’s why I assume that the magazine reader is also either single or has a cool-with-porn mate. But what about the last group of porners? Those of you that surf the Internet on your PCs and mobile for porn.
I think that you guys are prime candidates for the M.W.H.P.F.T.W. club.
You, the clearers of browser histories. You, the stashers of pics, movies and files in secret folders buried in other folders, mislabeled and locked with passwords.
Am I wrong?
Where do you watch your porn? Are you hiding it from your mate? Why?
Listen, you can tell me these things. Sure, I am a woman…but I’m on your side. 🙂 I am practically the coolest chick you know. I like porn, you like porn. I like tits, you like tits. I have tits, you, um, like tits. It’s like we are best friends already. And knowing about how you guys like to watch the stuff that gets you off is my pleasure…and my job! 🙂 Think of me as the busty chick that does marketing research about your meat-beating experiences so that I can help you…umm…jack off better? Do some extra-discreet skeeting?
🙂 Let’s talk about it. I am not your wife. I’m your V-mag editor!
xoxoxo
Maria