Tag Archive: Manswers

Breastnosis. It does exist.

December 18, 2009 by Elliot James

Last week, the SPIKE TV show Manswers asked if you can be hypnotized by boobs. The answer, of course, is, yes, you can. (Or as President Obama says, “Yes we can.”) At SCORELAND, we have known for many years how big boobs can cause a hypnotizing effect on male passersby and some females. I tell you that this condition exists. The people at the New York Times and CNN, they called me crazy. I’ll show them one day who’s the sane one. Exactly what is this phenomenon? The scientific word is breastnosis. Men who stare at a pair of large hooters will fall into a deep trance and not remember what they have done or where they are going. It doesn’t matter if the breasts are clothed or nude. Their power passes through cotton, rayon, wool, brick, lead, etc.

This chump doesn't stand a chance.

This chump doesn't stand a chance.

Jade turns on her high beams.

Jade turns on her high beams.

This is why guys walk into light poles and fire hydrants when a busty girl bounces by, or worse, rear-end the car in front of them. Often they wake up in motels, not knowing how they got there. Studies have shown that the faster a girl’s breasts bounce, the deeper the breastnosis becomes. There are case histories of heavily breastnotized men losing their cars, keys, wallets, pants, shoes and underwear. They know who they are. It’s an effect that’s deserving of further research in universities and laboratories.

If this happens to you, just enjoy it. Unless you’re an airline pilot or you work in a nuclear power plant.