Inside the mind of your V-Mag editor
My mind is a cavernous place full of strange details and memories that revolve around tits. (If I didn’t work where I work, I might be considered a tad bit on the side of creepy, ya’ll. Just a tiny bit strange, even. lol) Sometimes I can be typing up copy for the newest issue of V-Mag and my thoughts will drift, and all of a sudden I am thinking about Denise Davies’ areolae and pondering how many inches they measure across. (4 1/2 inches all the way across, 2 1/4 inches from the nipple to the edge.) (Fuck! I’m a weirdo. lol)
Little things will trigger my boob musings, and then my mind is a’wandering and I am sort of in and out of very elaborate tit scenarios. Sometimes they involve hot chicks doing weird things. (Like when I imagine Ashley Sage and Renee Ross in an epic battle royale where they charge at each other, topless, wearing viking hats and popping bags of potato chips by crashing into one another with the chips strapped to their cleavage. CRASH! POP! PoTITo Chips! Hahahaha!) Or sometimes I think about chicks at a pool party. I know this sounds harmless, but not really. I’ll imagine Janet Jade by a Slip ‘N’ Slide that’s coated in sundae toppings. She’s naked and running and then PLOP! And SLIDE! And Kapow…Titssert! And then maybe Christy Marks comes running behind her and PLOP! Followed by Dallas Dixon. PLOP! And so on and so forth until I’ve piled up like 20 models in a heap of sweet toppings and nudity and stickiness. A stack of stacked ladies sundae. In my imagination. Yeah. Um, my mind is a fucked up place, honestly. lol
Today, I came into the office and sat down at my computer to look over some sets, and I came across this odd photo and my mind went racing to all sorts of bizarro places. I figured that I should share it with you guys because maybe you would appreciate it…
Okay, I’m lying.
I’m telling you guys because I am attempting to add a small iota of normalcy to my mind’s inner workings. Maybe you guys have these strange, elaborate thoughts, too? Or maybe not and by now you think I’m crazy. Either, or. lol
Anywho, take a look at this:
HOW BIZARRE IS THIS?!?
So, I see this shot and I literally have a WHAT THE FUCK MOMENT, or a WTF!, if you will. And then I’m thinking about the movie Flashdance. And then I’m thinking about Jennifer Beals. And I’m like, “Did Jennifer Beals have big tits. Hmmm?” And then it’s her in that leotard, flipping and dancing to that epic song, What A Feeling by Irene Cara. And I’m like, “No, she didn’t have big tits. Did Irene Cara have big tits…?” And then WOOSH! I am thinking about that scene in Back To The Future where Michael J. Fox, aka Marty McFly, dresses up and goes to see the younger version of his dad, George McFly, and he puts those Walkman earphones on him and wakes him up by blasting Van Halen and he says, “Silence Earthling! My name is Darth Vader. I am an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan!” I was like…”How much better would that whole scene have been with this chick in it?”
Karina Hart. Welder. lol
Sigh.
I’m fucking weird. lol
But look at that shot! Isn’t it a little strange? Strangely provocative? A topless chick in a welder’s mask? It’s just too, um, good, too strange not to start my mind drifting.
Oh, and that’s Karina Hart, by the way.
Sigh. She’s fucking HOT, eh?
She could weld whatever she wanted and I would watch. Even if it meant the flame from her welding gun (Is it called a gun?) would fry my retinas. (Maybe not. Maybe I could wear protective goggles…do they make protective goggles in hot pink?)
See what I mean?
My mind. A tit carnival is always going on up there.
lol
Thanks for letting me rant and rave and ponder in front of you all.
(But seriously…the welder’s mask shot is kind of cool in a Sci-Fi’ish way, isn’t it?)
xoxo
Maria