They call it a “Miracle.” We call it a sham!
In a world full of uncertainties and untruths, there is one thing we should all be able to depend on. There is one thing that should be a constant, no matter how unstable other things are. And that one thing is BIG TITS. You should be able to look at a pair of big tits and believe in their size, weight and J.F. (Jiggle factor.) While Shakira might tell you that Hip Don’t Lie, here at SCORELAND, we like to believe that Tits Don’t Lie. That’s why when we came across an ad for Victoria Secret’s new “Miraculous Push Up” bra, we were intrigued. (Hey, it’s not every day that someone advertises miracles AND titties!)
You can imagine how pissed we were when we read their promise that stated,
“Hello, Bombshell!” Instantly adds two cup sizes. Can be worn as a halter or crossback. In smooth & lace. Sizes 32AA-38DD.
Say what?
While we can sympathize with flat-chested women who might have to resort to this kind of subterfuge, there is no excuse for women with tits to participate in this kind of sham!
Bella Blaze is a DD-cup.
Lorna Morgan is an F-cup.
Imagine if you see a woman walking down the street, jiggling all over the place, with a rack that looks to be about an F-cup. You ask her out. She accepts. You take her to a nice dinner. You take her out for some drinks. You take her out to a movie. Now you have invested time and money in this F-cup dream. Finally, the time comes for you to get in where you fit in and jump on the hanky-panky train. You cop a feel and…wait a second! It feels like you are squeezing a couch pillow, all padding. But you press forward bravely into the great tit unknown. Then she takes off her Miraculous (Read: LIE) Bra and, hey, what the fuck? Where did all that F-cup go? It’s gone. And instead, you are left holding on to a D-cup, maybe a DD-cup. Sure, it’s not THAT bad, but it ain’t the F-cup you were promised. It’s a lie.
Maybe I am being harsh because I am a woman with larger chesticles, but to me, these miracle bras are like driving off the lot in what you thought was a Mercedes only to find out you bought a Lexus. Sure, it’s still a luxury car, but it’s NOT THE SAME.
It boils down to the idea that women shouldn’t create lies about their tits. The two-cup sizes lie is the worst thing ever created. That’s like a two-inch lie from a guy. Trust me when I say that when it comes down to it, two-inches makes a big difference! lol
What say you, tit men? Have you encountered these deceptive undergarments? Are you pissed about it? Do you accept it? Does it matter? Chime in.
xooxoxo Maria