The difference between cleavage and the area of skin between a woman’s tits
Listen, I know I shouldn’t be going to AOL.com for news, but sometimes I do, and this tagline caught my eye: “Plunging Necklines Dominate SAG Awards,” SAG being the Screen Actors Guild. “Great,” I thought. “Big celebrity tits,” and right off, I should have thought, “Stupid me,” because what celebrity has big tits? I mean really big tits, other than Christina Hendricks from Mad Men, and even she isn’t SCORE big (although she’s welcome to find out).
So I took the leap. I clicked on the link, and that led me to,
Plunging Necklines Dominate the 2011 SAG Awards Red Carpet
once again, and this opening paragraph: “Plunging necklines and daring cleavage dominated the red carpet at the 2011 Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards with Sofia Vergara, Christina Hendricks and Eva Longoris leading the pack.” At which point my eye wandered to six photos of six celebrities, all of whom supposedly were wearing dresses with “plunging necklines” that exposed “daring cleavage.”
Bullshit. All I saw were five not-so-stacked celebrities with plunging necklines that didn’t reveal much and one semi-stacked chick (Christina) who was wearing the least-daring dress of all.
Meanwhile at USMagazine.com,
Cleavage Wars at the SAGs!
Of course, more disappointment. The website asked, “Who won this year’s cleavage awards?” and thank goodness some woman named Susan Zemitas Richmond was smart enough to comment, “The only one with any cleavage is Sofia Vergara. The others are just showing skin.”
Exactly. If you’re a boob man, you had about as much chance at jacking successfully to the SAG Awards as any of these women have of getting into SCORE.
NOTE TO THE REST OF THE WORLD: JUST BECAUSE A WOMAN IS WEARING A LOW-CUT DRESS OR TOP DOESN’T MEAN SHE’S SHOWING CLEAVAGE. IF YOU DON’T HAVE CLEAVAGE, YOU DON’T HAVE ANY TO SHOW! THERE’S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SKIN AND CLEAVAGE.
So, just to set the record straight. Cleavage:
Renee Ross
SaRenna Lee
Tiffany Towers
If any of these girls came walking down the red carpet at any awards show, the international media would have a collective heart attack and realize what actual cleavage is all about. And they’d realize that this has nothing to do with cleavage: 