February 18, 2012 by Maria
Heather Hooters uses her nipples to test the cold weather conditions.
For the last couple of days, we have been talking about all things COLD.
We first discussed Ice and Thermal play. Then we talked about bringing sweets into the bedroom and incorporating ice cream into your sexy time.
Today we are going to talk about the one thing most of us Miami folk know nothing about.
Lily Valentine whips out her snow globes while hanging out in the dead of winter in Canada!
Today we are going to talk about snow.
I know about snow because I spent a better part of my youth living in the Big Apple and remember fondly the days I played in inches and inches of snow.
But can snow be sexy?
At first I thought NO. But then I started to look at photo sets and found these two shots of Heather Hooters and Lily Valentine. Both ladies are stripping down to their birthday suits amidst a winter wonderland. Please take note of their very erect nipples in these shots. Those things are harder than diamonds in an ice storm, right? There you have it. There is the sexy factor.
Those nipples are practically begging to be inside of someone’s warm mouth.
And that is sexy.
But them I thought about people having sex in the snow.
Personally, I have never felt the urge to get naked in the great outdoors when the temperature is below 75 degrees, but that is because I live in Miami and everyone is naked here mostly all the time.
And I thought that snow sex was impossible…until I met Destiny Rose and she told me about having some sexy time in the snow in the woods behind a church in her native Ohio. That’s when I became a believer.
And while I have yet to have Abominable Snowman sex anytime soon, (unless it snows in Miami.) I am confident that Destiny is not the only one fucking in the freezing weather.
Have you?
Tell me about it.
xoxo
Maria
February 17, 2012 by Maria
Sometimes, you can have the main course and dessert at the same time. Bring some sweet treats into the bedroom and use them on your sweetie!
Arianna demonstrates how to eat an ice cream cone without using your hands.
Kerry Marie is a messy eater. That just means you need to help her by licking it off.
Yesterday, we took a trip to the frozen tundra…and by frozen tundra, I mean we talked about thermal play, AKA using ice in the bedroom to stimulate your lady during foreplay so that she would be more inclined to put your snowballs in her mouth.
What? That’s exactly what I meant by frozen tundra.
Today, we are going to talk about the thing that makes everybody scream.
ICE CREAM!
Ice cream is delicious and a nice frozen treat.
It is also very, very, very fucking hot when paired with a set of DSLs. (That’s dick sucking lips for those of you not in the know.)
And when you apply ice cream to a ripe pair of tits, well, that’s just like dessert for your dick, dontcha think?
But we should talk about using ice cream during sex because there are some rules and tips that will keep your food play as play and not a mess that will make your dick limper than overcooked asparagus.
- First of all, like we discussed in yesterday’s post about thermal play, when it comes to using ice cream in the bedroom, less if more. I repeat: LESS IS MORE. Don’t go in there and dump an entire tub of ice cream on your girlfriend’s pussy and expect things to remain sexy. I suggest a couple of spoonfuls, max. You are trying to keep it sexy. Your lady lover is neither a bowl nor one of those cold marble slabs from Coldstone Ice Cream. Do not coat her in ice cream.
- Also, remember that unlike our ice play, when ice cream melts, it is messy as fuck. And I am not talking about the good kind of fucking messy. I am talking about a kind of sticky unsexiness that will never be good. You don’t want this melted ice cream all over your bed, your carpet and your walls. So, I suggest you keep this play to the kitchen areas or even outdoors. Stuffing a Popsicle in a woman’s pussy, outside on a hot summer day…well that can be quite pleasant.
- That brings us to DAIRY-BASED ice cream versus NON-DAIRY ICE CREAM. Okay, here is the truth: Dairy-based ice creams or dairy-based ANYTHING will start to smell bad after a few hours, so you NEVER want to play with ice cream and then conveniently pass out into a post-orgasm coma. You will wake up and smell like rotten milk. No one wants to be naked and smell like rotten milk, I fucking promise you. Fruit-based, non-dairy ice creams and Popsicles will be as messy and sticky but won’t make you smell like a decaying cow afterwards. Just an FYI.
- This last pointer is pretty much common sense but I am going to throw it in here because I know someone this happened to and I want to spare you the embarrassment. Heed my warning unless you are into your friends making fun of you for years, then by all means do whatever you will. Okay…so you should probably make sure that both you and your partner in this foodie fuck fest are not Lactose Intolerant. I know, by now most of you know whether or not you can handle dairy, but if you don’t know, find out. If you don’t know and you eat a lot of ice cream and then proceed to have what we will politely refer to here as “bubble guts” and “mud ass” halfway through your epic sexual performance…YOUR FRIENDS WILL MAKE FUN OF YOU. WOMEN WILL TALK ABOUT YOU AS A PUNCHLINE. YOUR FUCK STOCK WILL PLUMMET! Okay? You’re welcome.
And there you have it. So Cold, Part 2: Ice Cream.
Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go chase down the ice cream man and get myself a Creamsicle.
Tune in tomorrow for the final chapter in our exploration of all things ice…So Cold, Part 3: Snow.
xoxo
Maria
February 16, 2012 by Maria
Merilyn Sakova likes to cool down her twin peaks.
Today, I woke up and remembered my journalism roots. (Yes, your now-editor was once a wild-mannered reporter. I have since stopped chasing leads and spend my days immersed in big tits. Wise career move? You betcha.) I remembered how I used to write three-part exposes, and I thought I would bring that into the Blog and talk about something that we have never talked about before…(kinda)…ICE.
Yes, ice.
We have talked about chicks who like to stuff ice in their pussies. (Yes, Angel DeLuca, I am talking about you.) And we have talked about tit sundaes via our notorious Whipped Cream Debate, but we have never talked about ice, and there is a lot to talk about.
Today, we are going to discuss the importance of ice play during sexy time. Yes, it’s time to talk about thermal play.
First of all, not every woman likes this, so please refrain from installing an ice maker in your bedroom. Some women have sensitive sking and experience irritation and burning if you apply ice on their nipples for too long. Freeze burn is not sexy, y’all, however, some women absolutely love some ice rubbed on their nipples, pussies and other sensitive parts. As with everything in the bedroom, (ESPECIALLY OIL & LUBE!) when it comes to using ice on a nipple, or even on a clit, less is more. The point is to tease and titillate her body’s neuroreceptors, not to freeze her sensitive parts like Han Solo in carbonite.
Here are some suggestions from yours truly about ice play. I did hours of research on these. I conducted lab experiments on hundreds of nipples. I traveled to far reaches of the Earth and endured sub-zero temperatures.
Not really.
I just used my breast common sense and some ice in the privacy of my own home.
But I really did want to conduct the experiments, I swear.
Used properly, ice can be so nice.
- Use ice cubes. Crushed ice is neither sexy nor long-lasting.
- The best way to incorporate ice into the bedroom is to use it in your mouth first and then use your cold mouth on her nipples and sensitive parts. If she is into it, then put the ice in your mouth again, and this time, keep it in there when you tease her.
- When it comes to ice play, you can use ice on other sensitive parts like her neck, her navel, her thighs and her clit. You can also kiss her with a cold mouth. Think STIMULATION and use your IMAGINATION.
- If you are going to take ice downtown, and by downtown I mean around a woman’s pussy, remember that whole freeze burn thing we discussed. You want to arouse her, not give her hypothermia.
- You can stimulate her clit, or you can slide an ice cube inside her pussy. The inside of a woman’s vagina is around 99.5 °F and the temperature of ice is three times colder at 32°F. When you place an ice cube inside of a woman, it immediately starts to melt. The more she contracts down there, the more it will melt. The combination of cold versus hot down there will stimulate her, I promise. You can also try to suck the ice out. I would recommend letting it melt or pulling it out of her before you try and stick your dick in there, though.
And there you have it. So Cold, Part 1…a chat about ice.
Tomorrow, we will discuss So Cold, Part 2…ICE CREAM.
Are you excited?
I am.
xoxo,
Maria
