I love being able to come to the blog and talk tits with you fine folks. It’s practically therapeutic to be able to have a forum to get things off my chest about, well, big chests! lol That’s why when something happened to me a couple of days ago, I found it worthy of mentioning here.
Okay, so let me set up the situation for you.
You have me, a big-boobed chick, out to lunch with a buddy of mine on Friday. Friday lunches are usually a crowded affair at most of the restaurants surrounding The SCORE Group headquarters here in Miami because most people go out to eat in droves (Maybe because it’s so close to the weekend?). So, my buddy Mario (Hi Mario!) and I are waiting to be seated at a local Colombian restaurant to have some soup since it is currently a bit chilly in Miami. (Yes, my name is Maria and I hang out with a guy named Mario. And yes, chilly to us is 71 degrees. lol)
While we are waiting by the door of this crowded soup place, I notice this chick who is sitting at a table directly ahead of us. She is immersed in a deep convo with her lunch date and doesn’t even glance in our direction. Normally I would have glanced at her and kept going but here is where it gets sticky.
First of all, this chick had MONDO tits. Like HUMONGOUS ones. Second of all, she was wearing this low-cut sweater thing that showed off what I like to refer to as A VALLEY OF TIT CREASE. I’m talking about a fucking Grand Canyon of cleave, dude.
Now when I see cleavage like that, and like that I mean cleavage so deep I want to put my hands into it for warmth, I cannot help but stare. It’s like a fucking magnet for my eyes! I can’t stop looking. I mean, I am stuck in ogle-mode. Seriously.
So I look over at Mario to say, “Hey dude, look at that cleave crack at 12 o’clock,” and I realize that he is also fixated on the funbags ahead. (This is probably why we are friends. We both love big boobs. lol) So, now both Mario and I are staring, no scratch that, we are engraving into our memories each inch of this oblivious babe’s biggums when she looks up and catches us staring at her bosoms.
Now Mario, because he is a guy and is programmed to look away at such moments, plays dumb and acts like he is looking at the wall four feet above her head. But not me. I don’t have that AVOID THE RACK-FRONTATION radar, apparently, and I just keep looking at her tits. So she coughs. Loudly. Irritatedly. But being the oblivious caught-in-her-headlights boob fiend that I am, I don’t notice. I just keep on keepin’ on and I even might have mouthed the word, WOW, while doing so.
That’s when two things happened.
1) Mario elbowed me and whispered, “Stop staring, stupid.”
2) She grabbed her napkin and covered her tits up and sort of snapped me out of my boobnotized state. (That’s when you are hypnotized by the titties, just FYI.)
Shortly after that awkward moment passed, our host sat us and when we walked by she distinctly whispered the words, “Fucking perverts.” Well, whispered is the wrong word. HISSED is more like it.
Now, here is what I have come to vent about on the blog, because, well, I can! lol
WHY AM I THE FUCKING PERVERT WHEN SHE WAS THE ONE WEARING HER CHESTICLES OUT AND ABOUT?!? IT’S NOT MY FAULT SHE WAS FLYING THE TIT FLAG OUT THERE ALL PROUD AND I HAD TO SALUTE IT WITH MY EYEBALLS, IS IT?
I mean, seriously…I have big boobs and when I wear them out like that, like a fucking Macy’s window display, I expect people to stop and stare. Fuck, I expect them to point and maybe even applaud. lol
What I am saying is, what the fuck did she think all that tit crease was gonna do? Repel my peepers?
Has this happened to you guys before? If so, I think we need to start some sort of petition to have a law passed or something because as far as I am concerned, if you’re showin’ off your pair, prepare for the stares.
That’s my rule and I’m stickin’ to it.
your fucking perverted friend,