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A Valentine from us to YOU!

February 14, 2010 by Maria 19 Comments

Hello Boob Lovers!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I am sure for most of you this is a day filled with ass-kissery to the lady loves in your lives. You know how it goes…you have to take her out to a fancy dinner. You have to buy her something sparkly. You have to “make love,” which we all know is the pretentious, drawn-out, slightly soap-opera-ish cousin to our fave…”fucking.” Valentine’s Day is tough on dudes. I get it. (Even though I am a chick, believe me, I get it. And besides, I don’t have a Valentine of my own this year, so I am allowed to shit all over this holiday meant to make single gals like me turn to chocolate and our vibrators for comfort. lol)

But I ask you this, boob brethren, WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR PRESENT? I don’t see chicks bending over backwards for you on this day. Oh, no. And that, my friends, is biased bullshit. Where is the love for the dudes? WHERE IS THE SPECIAL TREATMENT?

So, on this Valentine’s Day, I have decided to give YOU a Valentine.

Jenna Valentine, that is. 🙂

Jenna is one of my boobied, cutied faves because she is funny, has a great rack and she is pretty damn hot. (She also has a shy nipple that doesn’t get hard right away and will make you want to suck on it until it does.) And she is into chicks, which means that in my imagination, I have banged her a few times. (Okay, more than a few times. lol) When Jenna was here last, Dave and I hung out with her and took her measurements because this sexy lady from California (She talks like a Valley girl and whereas most times I would find that annoying, when this pale-skinned hottie does it, it’s a huge turn-on!) claims that she was a double-F because she didn’t fit an F. And you know what? Jenna knows her body because she was right. She’s a FF-cup. And I got to be THIS CLOSE to her as I measured her, and I am NOT complaining, because unlike my blogging cohort, Adam, I know what to do with a big pair of tits. (LOL! Sorry Adam, you asked for it, buddy.)

Plus, I taught her how to make her boobs bounce and that is the gift that keeps on giving.

So enjoy this Valentine from us to you because goddamn it, you’re special and you deserve something nice on this ridiculous chick holiday, too!

xoxoxo

Maria

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The weekend SCORE board will uplift you

February 13, 2010 by Elliot James 3 Comments

SCORELAND has yet another great weekend ahead with a well-rounded offering of the very finest in beautiful, busty babes. First up is the gorgeous Brit Karla James in her second of five pictorials, this time with her bountiful bon-bons spilling out of her red bikini. Hey, it’s Valentine time!  Karla was made for bikinis, beautiful beaches and sunny days.

How do you spell beautiful bikini body? K.a.r.l.a   J.a.m.e.s

How do you spell beautiful bikini body? K.a.r.l.a J.a.m.e.s

Today, Camelia (Sex In The Titties) Davis stars in a very hot, breast-packed video with mucho boob bouncing, shaking and swinging. If you loved Camelia in her most recent SCORELAND video Sweatin’ To The Boobies, you’ll love her even more in Tittie Knockin’.

Don't miss Camelia Davis' first SCORELAND guy-girl video!

Don't miss Camelia Davis' first SCORELAND guy-girl video!

And Sunday, Valentine’s Day, is the perfect day to schedule Jenna Valentine’s pictorial and video, a topless, tittie-bouncing interview with Maria. After seeing this video, we gotta say that Jenna deserves her own TV show.

Like Dave always says, prepare to fall in love…three times! That’s a lot of arrows to pull out of your asscheeks!

It's Jenna Valentine time on SCORELAND.

It's Jenna Valentine time on SCORELAND.

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SCORELAND: Like Xanadu with tits!

February 12, 2010 by Maria 21 Comments
Dave with Renee. I am sure he is giving her skating tits, er, tips. lol

Dave with Renee. I am sure he is giving her skating tits, er, tips. lol

Something is always going down in the SCORE offices. Sometimes, you walk into the kitchen and there’s a big-titter at your table, eating some lunch, and her cleavage is burning a hole in your retinas. Sometimes you walk into an empty office and there’s a super-titter on the desk, spread eagle and in the middle of a photo shoot. And sometimes you are walking down the hallway and you almost get run over by mega-titter Renee Ross on roller skates. And in booty shorts, too.

Yes…SCORE is sometimes like Xanadu, but with more tits.

Here is what I can tell you about Renee. She is one of THE sweetest ladies you will ever meet. She is very funny and personable. She loves to laugh and it comes across whenever she is on set. And she is pretty great on roller skates. She was so excited to roller skate around our offices and do tricks for everyone watching that we found ourselves watching her roll around for quite some time. And when I say WE, I mean practically everyone in our office. Renee is easy on the eyes but bad for work productivity. lol

The only way this would be better is if Renee was naked! :)

The only way this would be better is if Renee was naked! 🙂

We all secretly hoped Renee fell…on top of one of us so we'd be victims of a tit collision. YUM.

We all secretly hoped Renee fell…on top of one of us so we'd be victims of a tit collision. YUM.

Renee rolls by our video editor/cameraman, Lester. Just another day in the office...

Renee rolls by our video editor/cameraman, Lester. Just another day in the office...

With tits like that, I'd play rollerderby with Renee anyday!

With tits like that, I'd play rollerderby with Renee anyday!

So check out this video of Renee on her skates because it’s Thursday, and on Friday we like to have fun! 🙂

Hope everyone has a smashing weekend and that all of you curl up with a sexy busty, too!

Maria

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Stripper shoes. I like to see girls wear ’em!

February 11, 2010 by Elliot James 8 Comments
Bebe Cooper puts her best foot forward.

Bebe Cooper puts her best foot forward.

One of our prolific Voluptuous fans known as “The Feetosopher” is probably going to comment negatively about this topic because he’s a 100% barefoot and sole lover, but here goes. I love to see a girl wearing those skyscraper-heeled open-toed shoes affectionately known by pervs like me as “stripper shoes” or “F-M shoes.” Some examples are shown here. Even if a SCORELAND model doesn’t wear a pair in her pictorials or videos, I guarantee you she’s got three or four in her closet at home, whether she’s a stripper or not. I’ll bet that the girls who read our blog have plenty at home.

Linsey Dawn: you couldn't pull stripper shoes off her feet if you tried.

Linsey Dawn: you couldn't pull stripper shoes off her feet if you tried.

When I see a girl who would never even think of being a stripper wearing stripper shoes , I want to applaud her. When a girl says she wears them around the house, I want to give her an award. Linsey Dawn McKenzie used to practically live in these things. (I think I once dubbed LDM the Imelda Marcos of stripper shoes. ) Now a lot of guys don’t like them because they don’t like strippers or they just think they look stupid or trashy, and so do many girls. Not me. I’ve always believed that they give the ass, leg and foot incredible, super-sexy shapes. I’ve spent many a happy hour in a trance at strip clubs, slack-jawed, eyes glazed over, gazing at the dancer on stage, starting with 1) her tits 2) her feet if they’re in stripper shoes 3) her face 4) her legs 5) her ass and then back to the tits and feet again. I’m pretty sure my ancestors did something similar. (I stopped going to strip clubs some years back but that’s another story.) When I see a red-hot busty model wearing boring pumps or “glamourous” (ugh) shoes that a woman would wear at a wedding party, I’m disappointed if not despondent.

Faith's choice of footwear proves she's a top model.

Faith's choice of footwear proves she's a top model.

As far as Hollywood celebrities, Jessica Simpson, who has her own shoe line, is on the right track a lot of the time. She’s definitely into the F-M stripper shoe mindset. Victoria Beckham thinks like that also and so does J-Lo. The best kind of TV for stripper shoe fans is Latin TV. On stations like Gala or Univision, babes of all ages are perched on chairs with crossed legs, dangling their shoe like Katie Couric used to do. Googlize “stripper shoes” and a zillion stores appear. Many outlets like Wicked Temptations or Flirt specialize in them and the number of styles, some really off the wall, is amazing. So a lot of people like them. And yes, I like bare feet too. In Bebe’s pictorial, she’s bare foot in the second half of the set. It was the best of both worlds. Stripper shoes. I like ’em and that’s final.

I believe that Eva Notty wears stripper shoes around the house instead of fuzzy, flat slippers with bunnies on them.

I believe that Eva Notty wears stripper shoes around the house instead of fuzzy, flat slippers with bunnies on them.

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It’s B-Day time for Lorna, Sapphire, Devin and Plenty

February 10, 2010 by Elliot James 5 Comments

How can it be almost three years since Lorna flew to The Bahamas? Has it been really over a year since Sapphire was a bridesmaid in My Big Plump Wedding? Will Devin Taylor ever return to South Beach? Don’t tell us it’s been eight years since Plenty UpTopp went wild in the Mega-Boob Olympics. Where does the time go? If I could, I’d stop the clock like they do at football games. Happy birthday from your friends at SCORELAND.

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The Bucking Bronco: I got 99 problems and the boobs are one

February 10, 2010 by Guest Blogger 12 Comments
Cassandra's boobs look lovely. If only I had any idea what to do with them…

Cassandra's boobs look lovely. If only I had any idea what to do with them…

There are two things I’ve been razzed about during my brief stint as a contributor here at the SCORELAND Blog: not having a girlfriend and jerking off too much.

For starters, while the latter is probably true, to some extent, I’ll wear that label like a badge of honor. After all, it’s not like I jerk off because I can’t get a girl. I jerk off because I can. And the simple fact that it’s the middle of the afternoon and you’re on a porn site probably means that you subscribe to a similar theory.

Whatever. That’s not really all that important right now because today, the topic of conversation isn’t masturbation. Today, I’m coming to you with a confession. Today, I’m asking you folks for a little help.

Here’s the thing. You guys like to poke fun at me for needing a girlfriend, but the truth is, I have one. And the one I have is the one you want. Why? Because she’s cute and she’s funny, and, oh right… because she wears a size 34I bra! Got your attention now, don’t I? That’s not Merilyn Sakova. That’s not Karina Hart. That’s not even Christy Marks. We’re talking Kaytee Carter territory here. We’re talking boobs so big, I don’t even know what to do with them sometimes.

And that’s, sort of, where I need your help.

I know that may sound ridiculous–needing an owner’s manual for boobs does sound pretty silly and all–but here’s the thing: I’m not a boob man. My expertise resides solely in the southern region of a woman’s body. You give me a pair of long legs and a nice ass and I can give you 8,000,000 recipes for warm, delicious pussy pie. But you put a ripe rack in front of me and I can’t even figure out how to turn the oven on.

Now that’s not to say that I don’t like boobs. Nothing could be further from the truth. My girlfriend’s boobs are a thing of beauty. I just don’t have that deep, heartfelt appreciation for them that you folks seem to have around here. I see boobs as merely something to play with. You guys see boobs as something to be placed upon a pedestal and worshiped.

Which is fine because I’m pretty sure they should be. I just don’t understand why, exactly.

So help me out, SCORELAND zealots. Help me understand your boob-based religion. What am I missing? What is it about a woman’s rack that I’m clearly missing but you all see? Help me get inside the mind of a boob lover because until then, I have a feeling I might be wasting something that you all would be very happy to take off my hands.

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Busty hitchhikers: Can you drive past a big pair?

February 9, 2010 by Elliot James 9 Comments
Isis Haze needs a lift.

Isis Haze needs a lift.

Here’s my question of the day. Suppose you were driving alone. It doesn’t matter where you’re going. You’re just driving and you are not in a hurry. It’s daytime. And you see a busty, good- looking hitchhiker by herself. She looks like a real hitchhiker and not a hitchhooker. It doesn’t look like anyone is hiding close-by. Would you pick her up? Or would you keep going? Would you pick her up to be a nice guy or would you pick her up to see if you could make a new friend? Me, I’d keep going. But if I was a professional driver, I would offer her a lift.

Do you stop or keep going?

Do you stop or keep going?

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Babes having birthdays

February 8, 2010 by Elliot James 3 Comments

Bettie Ballhaus was named after the great German design school Ballhaus of the 1920s, known for its super-cool style. Gwen Sanders said that the worst pick-up line she’s ever gotten was “Wow! How big are those?” Brazilian Angelique now lives in Germany and speaks German like a native. Licking a big lollipop, Cassitty did one of the most oral video interviews ever conducted at SCORELAND.

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Linsey Dawn and Karla James: Separated at birth?

February 8, 2010 by Dave 28 Comments
Linsey from the April 2006 SCORE

Linsey from the April 2006 SCORE

Karla James, debuting now at SCORELAND

Karla James, debuting now at SCORELAND

Comparing a new busty model to Linsey Dawn McKenzie is never fair. It’s like comparing every new, promising baseball player to Babe Ruth or every opera singer to Maria Callas. It’s possible to be great without being the greatest. And, yet, the comparisons to Linsey Dawn McKenzie kept coming up when I posted the photo of Karla James on Friday. Anonymous said, “Looks like we have a new Linsey Dawn!” Sean said, “Linsey Dawn is my all-time favorite model, and this girl looks like she too can become a legend.”

Yes, there’s definitely a facial resemblance between Linsey and Karla, and they’re both from the UK. Plus, this much is undeniable: Karla is stacked. Who’s more stacked? Does it really matter? If a pair of G-cups is wrapped around your cock, are you going to say to the owner of those G-cups, “I’m sorry, honey, but you’re going to have to leave. Those aren’t double-H cups.”

Of course, Linsey and Karla are both naturals, and that’s astounding considering how firm their tits are.

By the way, to answer some questions about Karla, yes, there will be video of Karla, and you’ll get to hear her speak. No, Karla isn’t the great new girl who I hinted to for the end of the month. That’s a different great new girl. Karla kinda came out of nowhere. So enjoy Karla (a new set will be posted every Friday for the next four weeks). Enjoy Linsey. Enjoy all of the girls. Their tits are there for you here at SCORELAND Nation.

Yes, I did say SCORELAND Nation. If there can be a Red Sox Nation and a Who Dat Nation, why not a SCORELAND Nation?

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The official toymaker of SCORE

February 7, 2010 by Elliot James 1 Comment

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Some old dudes make fried chicken in a bucket. Others pitch popcorn on TV. The stuff that SCORE Girls stuff themselves with is made by this kindly old doctor in California who feels gratified knowing his products are in the night stands of women around the world. Doc Johnson has been the official toy and novelty company for SCORE since 2005. When you see a babe on SCORELAND schtupping herself with a synthetic schlonger, you know where it came from. The Doctor. I spoke with Chad Braverman of Doc Johnson. Chad’s the Director of Product Development and Licensing, and his dad founded the company in 1976. It may sound like a cliche but he did start it all in a garage. His first item was the eight-inch Natural Dong. Today, Doc Johnson is an orifice-filling empire with over 1500 items, and it has a lot of horny women and men to thank for it.

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SCORE: How many vibrators would you estimate that Doc Johnson has sold over the past 30 years?
Doc Johnson: That’s hard to estimate, but it’s a figure well into the millions.
SCORE: Do you have people test out your products before mass production begins?
Doc Johnson: We test each product thoroughly before it is mass produced. We won’t release a product unless we’re 100 percent confident  consumers will enjoy using it.

Autumn_toy9503_4

SCORE: How do you deal with so much competition?
Doc Johnson: The adult novelty industry has grown immensely since Doc Johnson launched 30 years ago, and products of every shape and size flood the market each year. The internet has revolutionized our industry. Not only has it increased sales, but it’s forced the brick and mortar shops to upgrade and improve their appearance and inventory. Because we know our space, and place a strong emphasis on research and development, we’ve stayed the recognized leader.
SCORE: Is there a company archivist that’s logged the history of the company from year to year?
Doc Johnson: Definitely. We’ve been keeping records of products and Doc Johnson memorabilia since day one.  It’s amazing to look back to some of our first catalogs ever launched and catch a glimpse of history. They’re very retro to say the least, yet at the time, they were considered cutting edge.

Doc Johnson makes toys molded from the body parts of real-life porn stars. Maybe one day, they’ll do something with a SCORE Girl. Imagine a lifelike recreation of Minka’s tits, Sara Jay’s ass or Morgan Leigh’s pussy!

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