Tag Archive: Jacking off
May 3, 2017 by Dave
Vanessa is certainly worthy of a start-to-finish jack.
The new poll question, “When you masturbate, how often do you start and finish with the same model?”, was something I was thinking about this morning. Perhaps the question should have been worded, “Do you start and finish with the same photo or video of the same model?” I know for me, it’s a rare occasion that I do. I’ll start somewhere and end up somewhere else, and most of the time, I have no idea where I’m going to end up. Something slips into my mind. Then I think, “Oh, that girl,” or “Oh, that scene.” It’s one of the great things about the Internet; you can switch from one girl to another, one scene to another, almost seamlessly. In the old days, I used to have to keep a pile of SCOREs and Vmags by my side. Actually, I still do. As I’m writing this, every issue of SCORE and Vmag dating back to the very beginning is to my left.
So, today at SCORELAND, I’ll probably start with the new photos and videos of Vanessa Y., but is that where I’ll finish? Will I stay loyal to Vanessa? Judging by my history, probably not.
How about you?
September 9, 2015 by Dave
These are Larissa's work boots.
Did you know that farm girls wear fuck-me shoes around the barn?
I didn’t, and that’s one of the things that makes this picture (and today’s posting) of Larissa Linn special. Larissa isn’t worried about getting her heels stuck in the hay. She’s more interested in going for a roll in the hay. Or a hay ride. Or making hay.
By the way, other photos in this set prove, once and for all, that Larissa is built like a brick shithouse. Of course, there’s video proof, too.
Today at SCORELAND. Tissues not included.
Before I leave you for the day, a question. According to the current poll, 5% of you don’t masturbate. Just wondering: Why?
August 20, 2015 by Dave
Jack off to Lila Lovely and her huge naturals today at XLGirls.com.
I was shocked by a story I read on Nate Silver’s website FiveThirtyEight.com. According to Indiana University’s National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, only about 12% of men between the ages of 25 and 69 masturbate more than four times a week, and the average frequency goes down with age. More shockingly, about 25% of all men have not masturbated once in the past year.
Why must people lie about such a worthwhile hobby? As Woody Allen once said, “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone you love.”
The sweet spot in this poll seemed to be “a few times per month or monthly,” a number which I also found hard to believe considering the popularity of the Internet and the main reason for its popularity.
Are there people who just watch porn? I’m not talking about watching porn as a prelude to sex. I mean people who watch porn or look at hot photos and videos of big-boobed women for the sole purpose of just enjoying them without masturbating?
Really?
Okay, people who watch porn probably jack more often than people who don’t. But am I really to believe that so many people don’t watch porn?
I think the world would be a better place if everyone jacked at least once a day.
I also think the world would be a better place if people stopped lying to pollsters.
November 3, 2013 by Elliot James
Printed on easy-to-rinse vinyl, Splat Mats are life-sized, high quality 41-inch by 24-inch photos of SCORE and Voluptuous Girls in the most-jackable, fuckable positions.
The Splat Mat also makes a great wall decoration for your man-cave.
Choose from Christy Marks, Kali West, Karina Hart, Michelle May and Venera.
Order yours now exclusively at eBoobStore.com. Supplies are limited!
August 21, 2012 by Dave
If you're going to jack off in the library, let's hope there's a busty librarian like Alena Snow to jack off to.
I was just going through the comments that members post on SCORELAND when I came across this from a member: “I’m sitting in a library using the Internet and I’m trying to jack off without getting noticed.”
Whoa, buddy! Jacking off in a public library…not a good idea.
Jacking off in your car (or car-jacking)? I’ve heard of that.
Jacking in the stall of a public restroom? I’ve definitely heard of that.
And, according to UrbanDictionary.com, the definition of pocket pool: “To indiscreetly play with your balls and catch a quick jack. Example: While sitting in ms.davis’s class and everybody is staring and she is like, hey what are you doing, and i am like look bitch i am itching my ball for gods sake, would you like to help me out….go to the office, but …..mmmm can i wash my hands first…”
But jacking off in the library? Listen, I’m not even going to ask if that’s legal. I’m sure it isn’t. I hope he was at least playing pocket pool and hadn’t actually whipped it out.
And, please, guys: If you’re going to jack off in your local library, please make sure SCORELAND or any of our other websites are not on the screen when you get caught and banned from the library for life. Or arrested. And don’t jizz on the books!
Anyway, my point is…where was the most unusual place you’ve ever jacked off?
Personally, I highly recommend restricting your J.O. activities to the privacy of your home, private office or a sealed bathroom stall. But, you know, sometimes the feeling hits and you just have to reach down for a feel. Play a round of pocket pool.
Yes, it can be a real mess.
February 19, 2012 by Elliot James
Notty all the time, Notty all the time, Notty all the time
There are some girls who look naked with their clothes on.
Eva Notty is one of them.
You know, as soon as a new Eva Notty romp is posted, the requests come in for more, more, more.
I get why. She’s addictive.
Here’s one example. A member who calls himself Stud1 comments, “Eva is one my top faves on SCORE! Love her amazing tit-fucks and her scenes. Please keep bringing her back asap.”
I agree about Eva’s amazing tit-fucks. She has a glint in her eyes when she’s giving one.
Most of the guys sending in feedback don’t ask for anything specific. They just want Eva back fast.
I get the feeling at times that Eva (pronounced Eh-va) could just stand topless or wear a string bikini and read the newspaper on cam and that would be fine for a lot of guys.
So for another of her amazing tit-fucks, Eva does just that this weekend at SCOREVideos.com, and naturally, it’s shot P.O.V. for the most part.
The long, cool brunette even adds a wet blow job to the tit-fucking and hand party in “Tits, Tugs & Tongue.” Just like Daylene Rio did at SCORELAND last week.
I think these Tits & Tugs have to be in first-person to be the most effective. It has to be your tubesteak sandwiched between the boob-bun. And the guy should keep quiet and let the babe do all the talking.
A lot of women don’t get the whole tit-fucking thing, but Eva gets it and gets it good. She talked about it the first time she visited SCORE, and what she had to say impressed me.
“Tit-fucking can happen in foreplay,” Eva said. “So say the guy is up here playing with my breasts and puts his cock between my tits, that’s great. The most amount of time that you can spend before actually getting to my pussy is the best because it’s really, really, really getting hot and bothered, and then the orgasm is better.”
What does Eva like so much about tit-fucking?
“That my tits are big and they can wrap around any sized dick, so it’s kinda like a peek-a-boo action. I like the cock-head coming out from between my tits, and if the cock is long enough, sometimes I can put it in my mouth and suck it. Most guys have never been with a girl with breasts as big as mine, so they like to cum all over them. And cum can be as good for a girl’s tits as lotion or moisturizer. That’s what they tell me, at least!”
It’s no surprise that Eva won the 2010 SCORE Model of the Year contest.
I only hope her future trips to SCORE are spaced closer together. I recommend that Eva move to South Florida. The weather’s a lot nicer than in Los Angeles, and we don’t get earthquakes.
January 15, 2012 by Maria
Jack while enjoying the CUMFORT of your couch for only $9.99!
You read that title right.
Yes you did.
Because you love tits. And we love tits. And we have a vast collection of the best tits around. And you like that collection. And we make the hottest big-tit DVDs featuring loads of XXX for you to blow your fucking load to. And you love to blow your loads to our big-tit DVDs featuring loads of XXX.
You dig?
So, for those of you who have a Roku box (Remember? Dave told you about it a while ago?), the time has come to check out our premium channel where you can watch all the big-tit DVDs featuring loads of XXX that you like to watch for only $9.99 a month. Yeah…that’s less than $10. That’s a fucking bargain. It’s a fucking fucking bargain.
Think about that for a second.
Allow me to help you do that…
You are in your favorite boxers on your comfortable couch. You have your mighty (if tiny) Roku remote in your hand. You check out one of our fine skinematic masturbateapieces. And then, it is on your screen. Your mighty HD, flat screen. And then, you have huge titties in your living room and these chicks are fucking and cumming loudly. How loudly are they cumming? Surround-sound loud, guys. That’s kinda hot. Your neighbors will be jealous. And then you’re rubbing one out on your couch in your house. That’s what they call CUMFORT. Feel free to look that word up. It’s in a dick-tionary, somewhere.
Say what? You don’t have a Roku? Oh, man…get one. GET ONE!
You can go to their site and check them out HERE and get your Roku for as little as $49.99.
And if you have a Roku and want to get in on our premium channel, you can by visiting SCOREtv.tv or by calling 1-800-421-0760.
But wait…THERE’S MORE!
You don’t just get big tit XXX. You get full-length SCORE, Voluptuous, XL Girls, Naughty Neighbors, 18eighteen, 40Something and Leg Sex movies. That’s a whole lotta porn action for your dick, dude. And that $9.99 a month gets you unlimited viewing of 100% uncensored movies. (Did I mention it’s on YOUR AMAZING T.V.?!?! In your home?!?! Yeah, I might have.)
And now, here comes the moment when I tell you about the FREE STUFF.
If you have a Roku and want to check out what all the hype is about, you can get our premium channel and check out the fucktastic flick for your dick, Boob Science, for FREE.
FOR FREE!!!!
Here’s a little info on your free movie:
It's the boob man's ultimate fantasy flick, a red-hot, hardcore, super-busty take on the classic movie 'Weird Science'. Two super nerds can't get chicks, so they use technology to create one of their own. And then the fun begins. Daphne Rosen stars as the fuck doll with super powers who helps the boys score all the girls of their dreams. First, Daphne gives them some pointers by strap-on fucking Maggie Green in Maggie's first-ever girl-girl scene. Then the boys go from nerds to super-studs as they score newcomers Angel Gee, Eva Notty, Contessa Rose and Aileen Ghettman, all of whom are making their XXX DVD debuts. More than just a jack flick...it's our hottest, most hilarious feature film ever!
So what are you waiting for? Get your free stuff. And in case we forgot to tell you before…you’re welcome.
xoxo
Maria
October 30, 2011 by Maria
Are you surfing the Internet for porn and hiding it from your better half?
One of the best things about working where I work is that I can watch porn on my computer and no one cares. I will have conversations with people at my desk while some stacked babe is getting some meat in her taco and her breasts cordon bleu’ed and no one even so much as bats an eyelash.
And being a single gal, if I want to watch porn on my own time…I do so on my very large flat-screen television. Loudly. So my neighbors know what is going on. Or, at least they can imagine something is going on and probably hate me. 🙂
But, I started thinking about all of you tit lovers out there who belong to the exclusive M.W.H.P.F.T.W. club.
As in M.W.H.P.F.T.W…. Men Who Hide Porn From Their Wives.
I know that this group of men exist because lots of my guy friends belong to this club. While I am watching porn out in the open, these guys are hiding porn and watching it in the weirdest of places. (One of my friends has to wait until his wife goes to yoga class and even then, locks himself in their bathroom and flushes the toilet repeatedly in case she comes home unexpectedly and wonders what the fuck he is doing in the bathroom for so long!)
Are you sitting in front of your computer, waiting for a moment alone to log on and get off?
It made me start thinking about those of you that buy DVDs, watch porn from your mobiles and/or buy magazines.
I am sure the guys who buy DVDs are either single or have wives who are cool with porn. Cause it’s an actual DVD. You have to physically store it somewhere, right? I assume guys who like to wank to dirty magazines, (And you should be all wanking to V-mag, in my humble opinion!) like the portable and disposable commodity that a magazine provides. But they are physical items, too, so hiding them also presents a problem. That’s why I assume that the magazine reader is also either single or has a cool-with-porn mate. But what about the last group of porners? Those of you that surf the Internet on your PCs and mobile for porn.
I think that you guys are prime candidates for the M.W.H.P.F.T.W. club.
You, the clearers of browser histories. You, the stashers of pics, movies and files in secret folders buried in other folders, mislabeled and locked with passwords.
Am I wrong?
Where do you watch your porn? Are you hiding it from your mate? Why?
Listen, you can tell me these things. Sure, I am a woman…but I’m on your side. 🙂 I am practically the coolest chick you know. I like porn, you like porn. I like tits, you like tits. I have tits, you, um, like tits. It’s like we are best friends already. And knowing about how you guys like to watch the stuff that gets you off is my pleasure…and my job! 🙂 Think of me as the busty chick that does marketing research about your meat-beating experiences so that I can help you…umm…jack off better? Do some extra-discreet skeeting?
🙂 Let’s talk about it. I am not your wife. I’m your V-mag editor!
xoxoxo
Maria
January 27, 2010 by Dave
Good afternoon, folks. I’m Adam and I’ll be steering the ship of masturbatory celebration today. I know change is scary, but I have the utmost confidence that you all can survive a few hours without flirting with Maria or belittling Dave. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but I think if we really give it a shot, we can make it through this one together.
Do you trust me? Good. Then follow along.
They say the eyes are the gateway to a man’s soul. I’d say that statement is absolutely correct.
According to Google, in 2009, you jackals were more interested in porn than both Barack Obama and the New York Yankees…combined. But what does it all mean?
It means that if the eyes are the gateway to a man’s soul, then his soul is a majestic land of threesomes and anal sex. Because, clearly, that’s all his eyes have been staring at these past 365 days.
And that’s why I’m here. To peer into your soul. To shine my flashlight on your late-night masturbation sessions. To peek in your window while you’re nailing the drunk girl from the bar. I’m here to bridge the gap between your world and the porn world. Hopefully, by the time I’m done with you, we’ll all understand one simple fact: you, me, the porn star you were jerking off to in that other browser window…we’re not really all that different, after all. Well, maybe she is. But not you and I.
Welcome to The Bucking Bronco, where we’ll take a look at the lighter side of some of life’s most private moments.
This week’s topic: Performing the perfect jerk.
Remember when you were younger and lived with your parents? Do you remember exactly how hard it was to sneak in a good jerk; listening like a fucking hawk because you never quite knew when your mother would bust down your bedroom door, like S.W.A.T., for no apparent reason? Whenever my mom would come to tell me dinner was ready, it always felt like she was auditioning for The A-Team. I never understood why she couldn’t just knock. Luckily, that all changes when you get older. Once you live on your own, you’ll jerk off right at the dinner table if that’s when the mood strikes. There is no greater sexual liberation than moving out of your parents’ house.
It should go without saying, then, that having your own place is the only way to perform the perfect jerk.
Ideally, it takes place early in the morning, on a day when you have nothing else to do. Maybe you’re sitting at the computer, maybe you’re making breakfast, but out of nowhere, you get that undeniable itch. DO NOT IGNORE THIS. IT IS YOUR CIVIC DUTY TO SCRATCH THAT ITCH. This is about the point where you move your laptop and the baby oil to the coffee table so you can lie naked, watching that Asian girl with the huge boobs get double-teamed, from the comfort of your couch. Normally, you would look around to make sure the blinds are closed and the volume on the computer is low, but this is the perfect jerk, so these things are of no concern to you. You’re on a mission. You apply the baby oil liberally and proceed to grunt and talk dirty to the inanimate piece of technology in front of you. Did you just ask your computer if it “liked that big dick?” Fuck. Yes. You did. Be proud.
After about 10 minutes, it’s time for the party to end. But you’re not about to bust into a sock or a paper towel. No fucking way. When you’re in the middle of the perfect jerk, the last thing on your mind is cleanliness. Instead, you just wail away at yourself until you shoot rope after rope through the air and across your stomach and chest, hoping your body acts as a human shield. If done successfully, you should be able to stand up, walk to the bathroom, rinse off and grab a sandwich before your post-jerk nap. For the life of me, I can’t tell you why, but turkey is considerably more tasty in the minutes just after you’ve finished strong-arming yourself. Trust me. It’s science.
So there you have it. The blueprints for the perfect jerk. Some of you already know exactly what I’m talking about. Those of you who don’t, I suggest you take the time to try it out this weekend. And don’t forget the barbeque sauce. (On the sandwich, of course. Well, unless you’re into that sort of thing.) You’ll thank me later.
Next week: Where you jackin’ it?
