Tag Archive: strip club etiquette

“Scorecard” letters. We get “Scorecard” letters.

March 28, 2016 by Elliot James

The Uncensored Guide to Lap Dancing

Dave and Elliot’s series on lap dancing (“The Uncensored Guide to Lap Dancing“) was a hoot. I’m sure much of it was true, but I’ve found that strip clubs in North Carolina are dull compared to the clubs in Florida. The part of the article that interested me was the so-called SCORE/Voluptuous model with body odor. I love the natural odor of a woman during sex. Call me a freak and a pervert, but I get off on the smell of women. My girlfriend plays golf, and after 18 holes, she’s hot and sweaty. The first time we had sex was after her three-hour-plus round with her girlfriends. She wanted to shower first, but I was too horny. She worried about her smell. I told her I was turned on by her smell. We fucked all over the apartment for about 45 minutes. I enjoyed every whiff of her body. She knows I’m a freak and loves that I want to smell her pussy and asshole when I’m giving head. So if a girl has a little stink, go for it and enjoy!–B.H.

Girls wanted. Must have big boobs.

Where do you guys find and recruit your models? I ask because I know a woman who would be perfect for you. She has long, blond hair, 44E tits and a great body. She’s not really my girlfriend, at least not yet, but she is the kind I really like. She thinks she’s fat, but I keep telling her that many, many men adore women like her and there are even magazines dedicated to full-figured women. I have read interviews of women who said they were encouraged by their husbands or boyfriends to pose nude for you so that got my curiosity involved. How can I get info on how to get my friend to apply to be a model?–T.G.,

We never met a woman who didn’t think she was fat. We find models from all over. It’s more difficult now for American-based companies to photograph non-US models on US soil because of government requirements. That’s why we shoot girls like Lila Payne outside the US. Log on to http://www.BeAScoreModel.com for the answers to your questions. The way to apply for any of our categories are outlined.

Sometimes ya feel like a nut

My favorite way to see a video end is the facial or in the mouth with cum swallowing and dripping out of her mouth onto her tits. Everyone, including yourselves, seems to end quickly as soon as the male cums. You should linger more after the cum shot and not be in such a rush to end the scene. If she will take cum in her mouth, let’s see the girls roll the cum around in their mouths, opening their mouths wide and sticking out their tongues in a playful way. When the guy just cums on her tits with the girl just laying there quietly and the scene fades out, there’s no sharing between them. She might as well be a photo he is cumming on. When she opens her mouth and offers her face for cum, it feels like they are sharing and that she really wants to enjoy his cum. Now, if a girl doesn’t want cum on her face or in her mouth, she should at least rub the cum into her tits for a while before the scene is ended or, better, let’s see her get up and shower it off in the bathroom like she would do normally. Another thing you should do is to get very close to her tits or face, wherever the guy cums. I am not a fan of creampies unless the girl is good at raving about it when he cums and she pushes it out, and most of them are not. Creampies are boring and you have no choice but to look at the guy’s cock in her pussy until he pulls out. I would rather see her face as she waits for the cum. What’s also very important is that you need males who can produce a respectable load of semen. If they can’t, I suggest they go on the Internet and see what foods and nutrients they should add to their diets to produce bigger and thicker amounts.–F.D.

Emails. Letters. Comments. The girls actually do read them in the magazines and online.


 

The Uncensored Guide to Lap Dancing: Part Five & Conclusion

February 24, 2016 by Elliot James

Tip the dancers on stage, even if you’re not sitting at the stage.

Click here for Part Four

LAP DANCE ETIQUETTE

Or, that dance doesn’t stink. You do!

You’re not going on a date when you enter a strip club and look for a lap dance, but you’re still going to be associating with women. Just because you have what they want (money) doesn’t mean you can be a disgusting pig. So, before you leave for the club:

1. Take a shower or make sure you smell good. You want these girls getting as close to you as possible, and they’re not going to want to if you smell like a garbage dump.

2. Think twice before putting on cologne. What if she doesn’t like what you’re wearing? What if it reminds her of her ex-deadbeat boyfriend (as opposed to her current deadbeat boyfriend)? Remember, you’re not trying to build a long-lasting relationship with her. You’re trying to get her to grind your cock in a way that’ll get you off.

3. Don’t wear rough pants. If you wear denim jeans, make sure they’re soft and pre-washed. Soft khakis are good. Sweatpants are fine, too, if the club allows them. Loose and soft is the way to go. If you have the balls, wear baggy shorts with no underwear. When you get to the club, take your keys and bulky items out of your front pockets.

4. If you haven’t shaved for a few days, shave. If you scrape a dancer’s boobs with your metrosexual stubble, her experience will be less than pleasant, and that will affect your experience. This rule does not apply if you have a full, soft beard.

Then, when you get to the club:

1. Don’t get drunk off your ass. First, you want to exercise some money management. One time, a friend and I went to a ballgame in Montreal. He drank a beer an inning. Then we went to one of Montreal’s notorious strip joints, at which he promptly fell in love with a dancer, convinced himself that she liked him and proceeded to empty his pockets. Of course, when he ran out of money, her love affair with him was over. A drunk guy in a strip club is what’s known as a mark. Nobody wants to be a mark.

2. Don’t be loud and obnoxious. Very few dancers like loud, obnoxious guys (they remind them of their boyfriends).

3. Tip the dancers on stage, even if you’re not sitting at the stage. You’ll score points with all the dancers, who’ll be more eager to score with you.

4. Don’t tip for a single lap dance. If you do, you will lock yourself in with that dancer. If you buy three or four dances from a girl, then you can throw in a tip after the final dance. Make her work for her money.

5. If you can swing it, tip the bouncer when you walk in. He’ll appreciate it and leave you alone (unless you’re violating the “Rules of the Room”).

6. If you intend to shoot a load during the dance, go to the men’s room while you’re hard or semi-hard and put on a condom. Otherwise, you’ll stain your shorts and pants and make a mess.

7. Dancers know they have hot bodies or they wouldn’t have been hired by the club, but they still need verbal reinforcement. Compliment her on her hair and body while she’s lapping you (without sounding like a porno perv).

8. Between  dances with the same girl, take a break for a chat (the length of one song) and offer to give her a foot massage. Dancers love foot massages (they’re standing on high heels for eight hours at a time), and when she starts her next dance, she’ll probably be more generous with her body.

9. Be nice to her. Use your hands to make love to her body. Just because she’s a stripper doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to feel good. When she’s sitting on your lap with her back to you, breathe lightly on the nape of her neck or into her ear. These are powerful erogenous zones for a woman, and even the toughest dancer will find herself getting turned on.

10. Keep the grinding rhythmic and strong when she is sitting on your lap. Match her motion, as if you’re dancing with her.

There are a few more touchy subjects we should deal with, too.

V.I.P. Rooms: Once she’s sitting on your lap, there’s a good chance she’ll try to lure you into the V.I.P. room. V.I.P. rooms tend to be very pricey, and what you’ll receive in the room varies from club to club and state to state (in some cases, you’ll get nothing more than a more-private experience and a bottle of overpriced champagne; in other cases, and for considerably more money, you’ll get a hand job, maybe a blow job, maybe full service). If you don’t want to go into the V.I.P. room, just say to her, nicely, “No thanks. I’m fine out here.” If she keeps pushing you, she’s a money-hungry whore and it might be time for you to cum and run. Or just run.

The Lap Dance Room Blow Job: Yes, there are clubs (I’ve been in them) where blow jobs or hand jobs, sometimes even full, sit-on-your-cock sex, are offered in the Lap Dance Room. I’ve been in clubs in which the girl pulled my cock out and went down to suck without even asking. Now, this might be tough to do in this situation, but it’s important: Insist on a condom. Because your cock won’t be the first cock she’s sucked in the Lap Dance Room. And it won’t be the last. Can you be positive that the last unsheathed cock she sucked was disease-free? No, you can’t!

Got all that? Now go out and get your dance!

Editors: Dave Rosenbaum & Elliot James