Boobs have been in the news quite a bit these days, and the news isn’t always good. It’s enough to make you ask, “What’s wrong with these people?”
NEWS ITEM #1: Kelly Osbourne (Ozzy’s daughter) wants a boob reduction before she gets married next year. “It’s no secret that I hate my boobs,” she said. “I want a size in between a B and C-cup that you don’t need to wear a bra.”
COMMENT: I never realized that Kelly Osbourne has big tits. When I read her saying, “I hate my boobs,” I just assumed she wanted bigger ones.
NEWS ITEM #2: One of the house guests on the U.S. version of the TV show Big Brother thinks she got voted off because she has big boobs. She said, “It’s not my fault I have huge boobs.”
Why is Annina on Germany's version of the reality TV show Big Brother?
This is why Annina's on Big Brother. Her tits. I don't think they show pussy on German reality shows.
COMMENT: Actually, judging from pictures, it does seem to be her fault that she has huge boobs. But I take issue with the word “fault,” which implies that somebody did something wrong. Getting or having big boobs means never having to say you’re sorry. SCORE model Annina is on Germany’s version of Big Brother because she has huge boobs, and she never has to apologize to anyone!
Angela White's sexy titties in the city of Sydney.
NEWS ITEM #3: Katie Price, aka Jordan, the UK starlet/bimbo, wanted a role on the sequel to Sex And The City but didn’t get one because of her chest. An insider said, “She may have the big boobs, but they don’t look natural.”
COMMENT: Yeah, nice move, Sex And The City directors. Keep the four dikey looking chicks with no tits. Get rid of a babe who might slut things up the right way and show some cleavage. And if it’s really a natural vs. augmented issue, then find a girl with big, natural tits. Like…hey, Angela White!
Sometimes the world doesn’t make sense. At least I have SCORELAND for some needed perspective.
According to the British newspaper The Guardian, more money is spent in strip clubs in the U.S. than on theater, opera, ballet, jazz and classical music concerts combined. That interested me because of all the editors, I’m the numbers guy. I even poll the members of SCORELAND, mainly about questions tied to big-boobs. (What else?)
I’ve been going to strip clubs for years, so with that in mind, I recently asked two questions of SCORELANDERS. My first question was: In strip clubs, how often do you get lap dances? Eighteen-percent said always, 42% said they’d get a dance if they saw a girl they really liked, 6% never buy dances and 33% said they don’t go to strip clubs.
Then I asked a question that was more germane to SCORELAND: Do you like photo sets and video with a strip club or lap dance theme? The results: 24% love them, 23% like them, 38% said they were indifferent and the remaining 14% hate them. So maybe strip clubs are just not as popular as they were in the ’90s. Or maybe guys can only handle the environment or the expense for so long before they bail out and need a break.
What I don’t see are any dancers stacked like Summer Sinn at Goldfingers or The Boobie Trap, two local skin emporiums. My friends in other cities tell me the same thing. What happened to all the really busty dancers across the U.S.? They’re not easy to find anymore. That’s one of the main reasons I don’t go like I used to.
Summer’s back next week at SCORELAND. She’s not playing a stripper, but she is sliding down a bologna pole. Her huge boobs are always a welcome sight here.
If you guys ever see a really busty dancer in your strip club travels (those of you who still go, that is), let us know. These gals have become an endangered species.
Anyone remember Kyla Ebbert from last year? She was the skimpily dressed 23-year-old hottie who was led off of a Southwest Airlines flight for wearing clothing that was considered too sexy. The story even made international headlines. A Southwest flight attendant asked Kyla to leave her seat while the plane was preparing to leave San Diego. Ebbert, a Hooters waitress and a student, was headed to Tucson, Arizona for a doctor’s appointment. She said Southwest representatives told her, “You’re dressed inappropriately. This is a family airline. You’re too provocative to fly on this plane.” Kyla was allowed back on the plane after adjusting her sweater.
I have to wonder how Southwest would react to SCORE models Lori Pleasure, Crystal Gunns and Cindy Cupps if they tried to a board a Southwest jet? Would they shut the flight down?
Lori Pleasure dresses for comfort even when she's in public.
Crystal Gunns and Cindy Cupps: "I'm sorry, girls. You can't take this flight."
Today I want to talk about two subjects that are near and dear to my heart: areolae and nipples.
You see, I think that big tits are great but only because every tit out there has its own personality based on what kind of dug it’s sporting. There are all sorts of nips and areolae out there, and I’ve always wondered if anyone else categorizes them like I do. When I see a pair of big tits, I automatically assess the type of dug and file said tits into their own class.So I figured why not share my thoughts on nipples with you guys, eh? I would love to know if you guys have your own categories for areolae and what they are. Let’s discuss!
And now, without further ado, let’s take a quick stroll down Dug Street, gentlemen.
-Maria
Pepperonnis: Otherwise known as "chicas," these areolae are darker in color and usually found on Latina ladies like Paola Rios.
Mocha Mams/m&m's: Dark and lovely dugs that look like they taste like chocolate. Janet Jade's got a great pair of m&m's.
Pink Perkies: Tiny nipples and tiny areolae that are usually lighter in color, like June Summers'.
Pierced Pups: Any type of nipple sporting jewelery like Alexis Amore's.
Super-Sizers: When areolae are large and make up more than 40% of the facade of a big tit like Denise Davies' dugs.
Faders: When areolae are so faint in color that they kind of dissappear into the rest of the tit flesh like Bea Flora's do.
I love seeing a girl with big tits checking out another girl’s big tits. The more surreptitiously the looker is looking, the better. I don’t mean in some staged photo or video. I mean in a candid, real moment. Photos like that have to be snapped spontaneously. It just happens.
Gunns gives L'Amour the eye.
Like this photo (left) of Crystal Gunns giving Vixen L’Amour the eye in the SCORE exhibit at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Vegas a few years ago. Or rather, Crystal giving Vixen’s boobs the quick eye. Vixen’s chest couldn’t be more “in your face.” And Crystal’s quick sneak-peek at Vixen’s peek-a-boo nipples is priceless. There’s nothing sexual going on but there might be, subconsciously.
Plenty UpTopp is a'twitter over Elizabeth Starr.
Another split second and that guy’s head at left would have blocked Vixen and Crystal. I know, because I snapped the shot. At adult conventions, the male visitors get so excited, the entire showfloor becomes a mosh pit. I’ve shot a ton of these convention photos for SCORELAND over the years.
It’s funny, but the simple things are more arousing to me. I love to see girls checking out girls in real life. The beach is a great place to spot girls eyeballing other girls’ bodies.
Just as a contrast, here’s Plenty UpTopp’s expression as she checks out the top shelf of Elizabeth Starr at the Exotic Dancer Expo in August 2001. Nice publicity shot, and both of these sex bombs have huge busts, but that candid reality feel is not there. However, I love how Plenty’s very uplifted cleavage nearly forms a shelf for her chin.
My name is Alexandra (better known as Allie around the office). I’m the editor of 18eighteen and XL Girls, two completely different magazines. On the average day, I go back and forth between looking at itty-bitty titties on tiny teenage girls and mammoth-sized mams on curvy women. I appreciate both of them, but today, I’m here to talk about huge, juicy boobs.
Recently, a big-titted friend of mine told me that she wanted to get a breast reduction. When she told me she wore a DDD-cup bra, I scoffed and said that wasn’t even that big. You see, there was a point in time where I thought a C-cup was big. Aside from really nurturing my inner pervert, working at SCORELAND changed my opinion about boobs. Fuck a C-cup. Give me F, G, H! I can honestly say I didn’t know what big was until I perused my first issue of SCORE. (And if you’re curious, I LOVE Sharday.)
In fact, in my life before SCORELAND, I never really thought about boobs at all. But now I’m obsessed with them, especially huge naturals. When I’m sitting at my desk writing copy for XL Girls and looking at a rack that could double as a bookshelf, I can’t help but wonder what it’s like to squeeze and knead and juggle such large breasts. How heavy are they? Are they squishy or firm? Would they make good pillows? Could they knock me out with a single blow?
I was determined to find answers to some of my questions. And opportunity knocked when Renee Ross arrived for a shoot at our studio recently. Walking into the fitting room, I felt dwarfed by her guns. First of all, those puppies are HEAVY. She put them on my head, and while they worked very well as a warming hat (I swear my head got cold when she took them off), I think my neck got a workout from supporting that load. Judging by their size and weight, a single shimmy to my face would probably put me in a coma. And finally, while standing behind me, she placed her hooters around either side of my head, and I discovered a new use for big boobs: ear muffs.
That experience sealed the deal. I’m officially a boobaholic.
This is a boob blog, and I usually don’t tell you about mature babes, but…
Joanna Storm, a mega-porn star in the 1980s, used to have tiny tits. Now she has full, round DD-cups.
And in what has to rank as one of the biggest (and unlikeliest) porn stories of the year, Joanna is making a comeback at age 50. Yep, she pulled her fuck shoes out of storage and is once again sucking dick on camera at an age when a lot of 50somethings…well, let’s be honest, these days, a lot of 50somethings are discovering their sexuality and sucking dick on camera. But a girl fucking on camera in her 20s, then taking 20 years off, then coming back when she’s 50? Pretty unusual.
Oh, and she’s doing her first anal scene, too. Yeah, I know. It’s about time she grew up.
See Joanna this week at 50PlusMILFs.com. By the way, if the camera seems a bit shaky in this interview clip, well, I got a bit nervous thinking about that cock going in Joanna’s ass.
Ha! I said it was only a matter of time before I got to chat with Kelly Shibari, and I was right! I stormed into our studio today and basically stole Kelly from her sit-down interview with our XL Girls editor, Allie Q. (Sorry, Allie!)
Why did I do that?
Well, ever since someone commented that I look like Ms. Shibari, everyone in the office has been calling me Kelly. So I thought it would be fun to talk with her, and yes, I wanted to see her tits in person…and I did! Lester, our video editor, played cameraman while I chatted with Kelly and subsequently almost fell when the wood floor I was standing on split open and swallowed my high heel! lol Kelly was a great sport, teaching me how to talk dirty in Japanese and letting me rest my head on her tits, too. (I fucking LOVE laying my noggin on a pair of big tits. Pillow tits are my place of comfort.)
Check out the video below of my first encounter with my Asian “twin.” LOL!
Newcomer Eva Notty busts the bed today on Scoreland.
I’ve been with SCORE since 1992, when the Internet was in its infancy, email service had just begun (anyone remember Delphi?) and downloading one photo took an agonizingly long time. Today, electronic communication has speeded up the pace of life itself to Warp Factor Six in a welter of Twittering, Blogging, MySpacing, Facebooking, Blackberrying, Texting, Podcasting, and blah-blah-blahing.
Where am I, a guy who still uses stamps, going with this?
Back then, when a new model arrived, there was a more leisurely pace to her progression in the big picture of things. Chloe Vevrier modeled for SCORE for seven years before she jumped on the cock in 1999. Linsey Dawn McKenzie hit SCORE in 1996 and waited to do her first boy-girl until 2001, and even that was with her then-husband.
And many others have never taken one photo with a guy. Kerry Marie, Jessica Turner, SaRenna, Lorna Morgan, Casey James, Pandora Peaks, Niki Knockers, Busty Dusty, Danni Ashe…the list is lengthy.
Linsey once told us, “When I first started my career, I decided that I was going to take things nice and easy. I was trying to space out my career as much as possible.” LDM could have been speaking for an army of models.
But now, the wait time to see a new hot chick doing the horizontal cha-cha has decreased to mere weeks or days instead of months or years. Case in point today: smokin’ hot babe Eva Notty, who’s got a sex temperature that pops the thermometer. Eva appeared on SCORELAND in a four-week special in June and is doing the cock in her first XXX hardcore today in “First Fuxxx.” Man, talk about instant, or at least semi-instant, gratification.
Would Eva have waited to do full-sex like Linsey or Chloe did if this was 1996? We’ll have to ask Eva the next time she visits us.
But something tells me no. Our entire pace of life has hyper-accelerated.
Something to Twitter, Blog and Vlog about…not that I want to Flog the subject into the ground.
1. It’s of Morgan Leigh, one of my favorite SCORE Girls.
2. Her tits are incredibly pointy. They look like they can poke your eye out.
3. She’s got a finger tucked inside herself in such a way that not only obscures none of her pussy (which often happens in dildo and fingering shots) but actually allows us to see more of the inside of her pussy.
You know, we can rank SCORE Girls by beauty, breast size, breast shape…all sorts of ways. But here’s a category for you: SCORE Girls Who Are Best At Displaying Their Fuck Holes. For my money, Morgan is No. 1.
