If you're going to jack off in the library, let's hope there's a busty librarian like Alena Snow to jack off to.
I was just going through the comments that members post on SCORELAND when I came across this from a member: “I’m sitting in a library using the Internet and I’m trying to jack off without getting noticed.”
Whoa, buddy! Jacking off in a public library…not a good idea.
Jacking off in your car (or car-jacking)? I’ve heard of that.
Jacking in the stall of a public restroom? I’ve definitely heard of that.
And, according to UrbanDictionary.com, the definition of pocket pool: “To indiscreetly play with your balls and catch a quick jack. Example: While sitting in ms.davis’s class and everybody is staring and she is like, hey what are you doing, and i am like look bitch i am itching my ball for gods sake, would you like to help me out….go to the office, but …..mmmm can i wash my hands first…”
But jacking off in the library? Listen, I’m not even going to ask if that’s legal. I’m sure it isn’t. I hope he was at least playing pocket pool and hadn’t actually whipped it out.
And, please, guys: If you’re going to jack off in your local library, please make sure SCORELAND or any of our other websites are not on the screen when you get caught and banned from the library for life. Or arrested. And don’t jizz on the books!
Anyway, my point is…where was the most unusual place you’ve ever jacked off?
Personally, I highly recommend restricting your J.O. activities to the privacy of your home, private office or a sealed bathroom stall. But, you know, sometimes the feeling hits and you just have to reach down for a feel. Play a round of pocket pool.
One of Elaina's wardrobe choices today and tomorrow
Today and tomorrow, one of my all-time favorite sights is happening at SCORELAND.
The tight top try-outs.
Nothing makes me happier than watching an exceptionally big-boobed hottie boombalottie trying on the skimpiest, most body-hugging tops.
Our president, John Fox, has a saying about the kind of clothes SCORE and V-Mag Girls should wear: “Too tight, too short, too low.”
These are words to live by, at least on my planet.
When I see huge-chested girls wearing baggy, loose, ill-fitting tops and bras, I get a panic attack because it’s such a waste. Don’t get me started on muumuus.
Elaina Gregory is the one to study as she squeezes her 41-inch, 34N-cups into a choice selection of tight tops and bras.
The best is when you can see the nipples protruding through the material.
Elaina was the perfect girl to do this. I have been waiting a long time to see her stuff her boobs into teeny tops like this. I loved every picture and every minute of it. Elaina’s video could have been two hours and it still wouldn’t have been long enough for me.
She also rubs one out, so don’t think it’s all a tight tops try-on.
Observe and report!
Thank you again, Voluptuous goddess Elaina Gregory!
Elaina tries on bras. The world is a better place because of this simple event.
Fact: Porn studs get to do the things most of us don't get to do, like fuck two girls like Daylene Rio and Sara Jay at the same time. That is a fact, right?
The most-recent “Blog” poll asked, “Given the choice, would you prefer the pop shot in a big-tit XXX scene to land on the model’s face or on her tits?” Fifty-eight percent went for tits and 42% went for face, which is pretty consistent with the results the last time we asked this question a few years ago.
This made me think about how different porn sex is from the sex you and I have in our regular lives. It made me realize that although reality porn is the big thing these days, there’s a thick line between porn sex and real sex. For example:
1. In your personal life, where have most of your cum shots landed? I’m guessing that most of you will say, “In the woman’s pussy” or “In the condom that’s in the woman’s pussy,” or “in the woman’s mouth,” not on her tits or face.
2. Really, truly, have many times have you piledrive-fucked a woman? I’m talking about turning her upside-down so her head was on the ground, grabbing her by the legs, spreading ’em wide and fucking her pussy or ass?
3. How many times have you fucked a woman’s face? I’m not saying just having her lie back with her head off the end of the mattress so you can stick your cock in her mouth. I’m talking about her lying down and you standing over her and throat-fucking her from above.
4. How many times has a woman blown cum bubbles or played with your sticky nut sauce?
5. How many times has a woman sucked her own pussy (or ass) juices off your cock?
All of these things are, in my opinion, pretty hot. And the fact that some (most?) of us have never done most (all?) of them in our personal lives doesn’t make them any less hot. In fact, that makes them hotter.
Where am I going with this? Well, the other day, I was reading a bio sheet that one of our models filled out, and under, “How often do you masturbate?” she put, “I don’t masturbate. I have sex.”
And I was like, “What does one have to do with the other?” And, at least to me, that’s a good thing.
Are you surfing the Internet for porn and hiding it from your better half?
One of the best things about working where I work is that I can watch porn on my computer and no one cares. I will have conversations with people at my desk while some stacked babe is getting some meat in her taco and her breasts cordon bleu’ed and no one even so much as bats an eyelash.
And being a single gal, if I want to watch porn on my own time…I do so on my very large flat-screen television. Loudly. So my neighbors know what is going on. Or, at least they can imagine something is going on and probably hate me. 🙂
But, I started thinking about all of you tit lovers out there who belong to the exclusive M.W.H.P.F.T.W. club.
As in M.W.H.P.F.T.W…. Men Who Hide Porn From Their Wives.
I know that this group of men exist because lots of my guy friends belong to this club. While I am watching porn out in the open, these guys are hiding porn and watching it in the weirdest of places. (One of my friends has to wait until his wife goes to yoga class and even then, locks himself in their bathroom and flushes the toilet repeatedly in case she comes home unexpectedly and wonders what the fuck he is doing in the bathroom for so long!)
Are you sitting in front of your computer, waiting for a moment alone to log on and get off?
It made me start thinking about those of you that buy DVDs, watch porn from your mobiles and/or buy magazines.
I am sure the guys who buy DVDs are either single or have wives who are cool with porn. Cause it’s an actual DVD. You have to physically store it somewhere, right? I assume guys who like to wank to dirty magazines, (And you should be all wanking to V-mag, in my humble opinion!) like the portable and disposable commodity that a magazine provides. But they are physical items, too, so hiding them also presents a problem. That’s why I assume that the magazine reader is also either single or has a cool-with-porn mate. But what about the last group of porners? Those of you that surf the Internet on your PCs and mobile for porn.
You, the clearers of browser histories. You, the stashers of pics, movies and files in secret folders buried in other folders, mislabeled and locked with passwords.
Am I wrong?
Where do you watch your porn? Are you hiding it from your mate? Why?
Listen, you can tell me these things. Sure, I am a woman…but I’m on your side. 🙂 I am practically the coolest chick you know. I like porn, you like porn. I like tits, you like tits. I have tits, you, um, like tits. It’s like we are best friends already. And knowing about how you guys like to watch the stuff that gets you off is my pleasure…and my job! 🙂 Think of me as the busty chick that does marketing research about your meat-beating experiences so that I can help you…umm…jack off better? Do some extra-discreet skeeting?
🙂 Let’s talk about it. I am not your wife. I’m your V-mag editor!
She hasn’t scored at SCORELAND since the SCOREtv Holiday Edition, SCOREtv Uncut and Uncensored and her hot, boy-girl anal video. Be here tomorrow when Stephanie Stalls unholsters her 40″, 34F pistols with magnum force and talks about dancing and stripping in nightclubs around the country. Stephanie shows exactly what she does and then some. Want to know what goes on in those VIP rooms? Miss Stalls gives you big scoops of Southern sweatermeat and tells you where to find her.
Some of Stephanie’s chat reminded me of a story Dave and I did for the October ’08 SCORE, ‘The Uncensored Guide to Lap Dancing.”
It’s an all new SCORELAND video and a ringside ticket to a private lap dance with huge tits and a wet pussy in your face.
In her self-sucking, pussy-fingering, jack-talk-packed video extravaganza that went up today at XLGirls.com, Gya Roberts–one of my favorite girls in the whole, wide world–says:
“I’m such a slutty girl. I’ll put your cock right here. I’ll tease your cock so bad, baby!”
She’s wearing a tiny bikini that can’t possibly contain her HH-cup naturals and plump, plush body. She’s wearing fuck-me pumps that put her in the mood. She takes out a nipple, shoves it into the camera and asks, “Do you want to suck it? I know you want to suck it, you naughty boy.”
She keeps up a torrent of jack talk while sucking and biting her nipples, then exposing her pussy and asshole for your viewing pleasure. She says such helpful things as:
“I want you to fuck me on the floor like naughty, wild animals. I want all the neighbors to hear us, baby. I’m going to suck your cock so bad. I’m going to suck it with my mouth on it and then put it between my breasts.”
“I’m going to get my naughty pussy so wet for you. Oh, lick my clit, baby, and put your finger in and fuck me with your finger. Fuck me, yeah, like that! Then you have to rub the clit, baby.”
“I want all your cum, baby. I want to fuck you like a naughty girl.” [Note: While she’s saying this, her boobs are swaying all over the fucking place.]
“Riding on your cock, harder and harder, baby. I’m going to push my pussy on your cock, feeling you all inside me. I’m going to push my titties in your face and make you suck them. Suck my titties. Suck it, baby! Bite them. Bite them now! Rub your cock faster and bite my titties.”
Ditto on the wildly swaying boobs. Meanwhile, she’s got her fingers buried in her cunt. I could call it her pussy, but in a situation like this, it’s a cunt. You understand.
“Naughty animal. Naughty boy. Your cock is so huge. I want to fuck it so bad, like a wild girl.”
That she is. The question is, are you man enough for her? I’m not sure I am, but fuck it. I jacked anyway.
I know this is supposed be a big-boob blog, but 1.) The woman I’m about to tell you about does have big boobs; and 2.) News like this I can’t keep to myself.
You know, I love all the girls who walk into our studio, but every once in a while, we get someone who makes my heart pound a little harder. I mean, I remember when I was 11 years old and met Tom Seaver, the Hall of Fame baseball pitcher, at an autograph signing. Exciting. Thrilling. These days, I get the same feeling from meeting big-boobed girls and porn stars, such as Elizabeth Starr, who visited our studio earlier this summer. And last week, I had another one of the moments.
Naughty Alysha came to visit us. Her full name is Alysha Morgan, but most people know her as Naughty Alysha, “Naughty” being a serious understatement. I’d go for filthy. Raunchy. Over-the-top slutty. Alysha is an amateur model from Tampa, Florida (land of swingers and nudists), and she’s known for cramming the biggest dildos and toys in the world inside her, remarkably, still-tight pussy (her husband verified that last part for me).
Alysha was just the girl-next-door when she debuted in 30Something magazine nine years ago. Now, she’s about as famous as an amateur can be, but she has remained remarkably down-to-Earth. And pleasant. And sexy. She’s a wife, a mother, the sexy MILF you might see at the supermarket, and you’d never guess what she does behind clothes doors.
Anyway, I’ve admired Alysha and her skills for a long time, and it was exciting to have her in our studio, shooting for 40SomethingMag.com. I interviewed her, which means I got to tell her which gigantic toys to insert in her pussy. And, damn, she inserted every last one of them with the greatest of ease. And the best part? Sitting about 10 feet away, I could hear her pussy squishing.
So, if you get the chance over the next few days, head over to 40SomethingMag.com and check out one of Alysha’s rare pro shoots. The photos went up on Friday. The video interview will be posted on Wednesday with the solo video posted this coming Friday. But this is not your average, everyday solo video. Alysha and her huge toys make it something special.
Brandy Ryder enjoys sucking on big sausages while sucking cock. We have pictorial proof of that. Get FeedHerFuckHer.com free with a membership to XLGirls.com.
We get a lot of emails and letters at SCORE and SCORELAND, most of them from readers and members who have genuine ideas and opinions to express.
But every once in a while, we receive a letter from a reader who…well, who I’m just not certain is being straight (possible poor word choice, as you’re about to see) with us, who I think might be trying to put one over on us. So, what happens is, we decide to publish the letter anyway (because most letters like this are kinda different and kinda amusing), and the writer sits at home laughing and thinking, “Those idiots! I really put one over on them!”
The following letter, published in SCORE, just might be one of those letters. It’s from Lauren G. (address withheld). Lauren G. writes:
“Though I’m a beautiful transsexual fellatrix (that’s someone adept at and who enjoys sucking man sausage a whole lot!), I don’t watch gay porn at all. I prefer to see hot, sexy, ultra-feminine women having sex with men. I can’t stand to see two masculine men, or, for that matter, even two feminine or even butch women going at it, having sex or French kissing. I feel it’s a man and a woman that looks right. That’s why I always wear feminine apparel and makeup. I have my own hair (no wig), and it’s very full and lustrous. I just need huge, natural tits and a pussy. My mind and preferences are 100% female. I don’t like sports, I suck at math, etc. I don’t masturbate to any DVDs, but I enjoy them. I always masturbate while sucking something, usually a big hot dog or a realistic cock dildo like, say, a Doc Johnson Jeff Stryker model. My ejaculation is 10 times more intense while sucking one of these than when not sucking one.
“Whether I’m sucking on a big weiner or a dildo, I always think about someone I’ve already been with, someone whose dick I’ve already sucked. I have a harder time cumming if I think about someone I’ve not been with yet. The size of the hot dog has no bearing on the size of the guy I was with. Besides sucking hot dogs while playing on my computer, reading a book or newspaper or watching TV, etc., I also suck on these big hot dogs while walking on my treadmill a half hour per day and while working out.”
Okay: Real or not real? Is Lauren G. really a transsexual who enjoys sucking hot dogs while watching SCORE videos and masturbating? Or is Lauren G. more likely some guy named Larry who sits at home watching DVDs and jacking, just like the rest of it, and satisfies his post-jacking hunger with, maybe, a hot dog and a beer? Every part of the letter strikes me as realistic except the sucking on hot dogs part. Who sucks on hot dogs while walking on a treadmill? Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose?
SCORE Girl Valory Irene strolls the grounds of an ancient villa in Portugal today and gets to indulge in one of her favorite things: dressing up in exotic, barely-there lingerie. But I’ve never seen pictures or film of any classic burlesque stars with bodies like Valory’s. If Valory ever decides to relocate to America, any retro-burlesque dance troupe would be glad to have her in their group. This outfit looks like something old-school burlesque dancers used to un-wear on stage 60 years ago, especially those twirling tittie tassles decorating Valory’s wonderful, ski-sloped twin props. At full speed, Valory can spin those things like tiny whips. Can boob motion be harnessed one day to produce electricity? I’m working on a paper right now outlining this. The fun kicks off today at SCORELAND.
