August 28, 2012 by Dave
Why is Sharday wearing this too-tight, too-small bra? Because we asked her to.
I’m just wondering…us guys…do we just not get it?
Or is it women that just don’t get it?
“Why don’t you write about tight bras?” Maria yelled out to me a little while ago.
“You mean that when a woman is wearing a tight bra, she’s trying to hide her boobs?”
Maria looked at me like I was crazy. I don’t think I’m crazy. I think I’m right about this.
“Women do not wear tight bras to hide their boobs,” Maria said.
“Then why do they wear them?” I asked.
“Why would a woman intentionally wear a bra that makes it look like she has four boobs?” Maria said. “Most women wear tight bras beause their boobs have gone saggy and they’re trying to lift then and bring them back to attention, but gravity has taken its toll on their titties, so their draggy titties need to be in a full-support bra. These demi-cup, too-tight bras…all they do is make a woman look like she has four titties.”
“I disagree,” I said, but by this time, Maria was on a roll.
“She’s not trying to hide those tits in a tiny bra,” she said. “That’s like trying to hide a 500-pound man behind little tiny rocks. If she wanted to hide her big boobs, she’d put them in a big bra.”
Ah-ha! That’s where I thought I had her.
“A big bra is going to make boobs look bigger under a shirt,” I said.
“The big bra is going to make them look full but contained,” Maria retorted.
So I thought about this. Is Maria right? Are girls who wear too-tight bras trying to make up for saggy tits?
Well, there’s a girl who works at a kiosk in a nearby mall. She’s short and stacked. Very stacked. She wears too-tight bras all the time, and I was convinced for the longest time that she was wearing too-tight bras to hide the fact that she has big tits (something my boob radar detected the first second I saw her).
But then, one day, I saw her wearing a T-shirt that said, “My eyes are up here.” That T-shirt is basically code for, “Look at my tits.” (I don’t think even Maria will disagree with that assessment). Another time, she was wearing a T-shirt that said, “Look but don’t touch,” which, of course, means, “Look at my big tits.” So this too-tight-bra wearing MKG (Mall Kiosk Girl) is obviously not trying to hide her tits.
But does that mean she has saggy tits? Damn, I hope not. I think she has huge tits and is proud of them…but not so proud of them that she wants to cause a scene every time she goes out in public.
Here at SCORELAND, we sometimes put girls in too-tight bras because we like to watch their cleavage spill all over the place. But when we want them to look good in sweaters, we dress their tits in properly-fitted bras. Why? Because if you put a girl in a too-tight bra then have her wear something over it, like a sweater or a T-shirt, she looks less busty. Because too-tight bras mash down big tits. When you mash something, it gets flatter and looks smaller. Then, if the girl wears a dark shirt, you can barely tell she has tits at all. Unless you have boob radar.
Go ahead, Maria. Disagree with me. But it’s one thing to have read the owner’s manual. It’s another thing to have written it.
April 8, 2012 by Elliot James
A team at Manchester University led by Professor Geoff Beattie is trying to scientifically prove that a woman’s self-confidence increases when she wears a cleavage-boosting brassiere. Hell, I’ve been telling girls that for years.
The scientists claim that they’ve established this connection. I’m all for studies like this in the name of boobology. I’m sure those scientists couldn’t wait to get their hands on the data.
This is what they did at the university:
They shot 60 videos of women from 20 to 55 years old in three different everyday interactions.
The videos of the women wearing push-up bras were compared to videos of them wearing their own bras.
Professor Beattie and crew studied what they call the three key “micro-behaviors” associated with confidence and observed how many times they happened.
The three micro-behaviors they looked for were smiling (good), breaking eye contact (bad) and “self-comforting hand movements” such as stroking the chin (bad).
The push-up bra results:
Smiling increased by 73% when the women were wearing a push-up bra.
Breaking eye contact, a negative behavior, decreased by 41%.
Self-comforting hand movements, a sign of low self-confidence, decreased by 64%.
Summing up, the scientists claim that women with more prominent cleavage were more likely to maintain eye contact and show more self-confidence in public.
Still, I have to wonder about this study. It was commissioned by Gossard. The lingerie company is releasing a new push-up bra called “The Super Egoboost.”
They could have just come over to the SCORE building, and we would have answered all of their questions.
One sure result of more women wearing push-up bras would be 75 to 100% more guys smiling.
Is it true that Sophie Mae has no self-confidence problems since she started wearing push-up bras?
May 19, 2011 by Maria
In a world full of uncertainties and untruths, there is one thing we should all be able to depend on. There is one thing that should be a constant, no matter how unstable other things are. And that one thing is BIG TITS. You should be able to look at a pair of big tits and believe in their size, weight and J.F. (Jiggle factor.) While Shakira might tell you that Hip Don’t Lie, here at SCORELAND, we like to believe that Tits Don’t Lie. That’s why when we came across an ad for Victoria Secret’s new “Miraculous Push Up” bra, we were intrigued. (Hey, it’s not every day that someone advertises miracles AND titties!)
You can imagine how pissed we were when we read their promise that stated,
“Hello, Bombshell!” Instantly adds two cup sizes. Can be worn as a halter or crossback. In smooth & lace. Sizes 32AA-38DD.
Say what?
While we can sympathize with flat-chested women who might have to resort to this kind of subterfuge, there is no excuse for women with tits to participate in this kind of sham!
Bella Blaze is a DD-cup.
Lorna Morgan is an F-cup.
Imagine if you see a woman walking down the street, jiggling all over the place, with a rack that looks to be about an F-cup. You ask her out. She accepts. You take her to a nice dinner. You take her out for some drinks. You take her out to a movie. Now you have invested time and money in this F-cup dream. Finally, the time comes for you to get in where you fit in and jump on the hanky-panky train. You cop a feel and…wait a second! It feels like you are squeezing a couch pillow, all padding. But you press forward bravely into the great tit unknown. Then she takes off her Miraculous (Read: LIE) Bra and, hey, what the fuck? Where did all that F-cup go? It’s gone. And instead, you are left holding on to a D-cup, maybe a DD-cup. Sure, it’s not THAT bad, but it ain’t the F-cup you were promised. It’s a lie.
Maybe I am being harsh because I am a woman with larger chesticles, but to me, these miracle bras are like driving off the lot in what you thought was a Mercedes only to find out you bought a Lexus. Sure, it’s still a luxury car, but it’s NOT THE SAME.
It boils down to the idea that women shouldn’t create lies about their tits. The two-cup sizes lie is the worst thing ever created. That’s like a two-inch lie from a guy. Trust me when I say that when it comes down to it, two-inches makes a big difference! lol
What say you, tit men? Have you encountered these deceptive undergarments? Are you pissed about it? Do you accept it? Does it matter? Chime in.
xooxoxo Maria
