SCORE Girl Valory Irene strolls the grounds of an ancient villa in Portugal today and gets to indulge in one of her favorite things: dressing up in exotic, barely-there lingerie. But I’ve never seen pictures or film of any classic burlesque stars with bodies like Valory’s. If Valory ever decides to relocate to America, any retro-burlesque dance troupe would be glad to have her in their group. This outfit looks like something old-school burlesque dancers used to un-wear on stage 60 years ago, especially those twirling tittie tassles decorating Valory’s wonderful, ski-sloped twin props. At full speed, Valory can spin those things like tiny whips. Can boob motion be harnessed one day to produce electricity? I’m working on a paper right now outlining this. The fun kicks off today at SCORELAND.
Tits underwater. Floatin’ boobs. Sexy mermaids with extra-large lung capacity. Plus poolside batin’ and breast play.
HOLY SUPERSOAKERS, BOOB-MAN!
How'd you like to lifeguard them?
These are the aquatic sights you’ll see in the new Voluptuous feature DVD Big Tit Skinny Dip, starring Valory Irene, Terri Jane, Dors Feline and Lana Ivans, filmed in the Caribbean. They wear the wind, some oil, a lot of water and not much else. Our kind of swim team. So hot you’d imagine the pool water turning into steam when they stepped in.
See the trailer at eBoobStore.com and dive in. The water’s really fine.
Big birthday wishes to Gianna (Big Boob Paradise, On Location Big Boob Paradise, Big Tit Tune-Up, Tit Fuck Tryouts, Pounding The Pledges and more!)
When you play with Gianna (born June 6), you're playing with fire.
In a world full of uncertainties and untruths, there is one thing we should all be able to depend on. There is one thing that should be a constant, no matter how unstable other things are. And that one thing is BIG TITS. You should be able to look at a pair of big tits and believe in their size, weight and J.F. (Jiggle factor.) While Shakira might tell you that Hip Don’t Lie, here at SCORELAND, we like to believe that Tits Don’t Lie. That’s why when we came across an ad for Victoria Secret’s new “Miraculous Push Up” bra, we were intrigued. (Hey, it’s not every day that someone advertises miracles AND titties!)
You can imagine how pissed we were when we read their promise that stated,
“Hello, Bombshell!” Instantly adds two cup sizes. Can be worn as a halter or crossback. In smooth & lace. Sizes 32AA-38DD.
Say what?
While we can sympathize with flat-chested women who might have to resort to this kind of subterfuge, there is no excuse for women with tits to participate in this kind of sham!
Bella Blaze is a DD-cup.
Lorna Morgan is an F-cup.
Imagine if you see a woman walking down the street, jiggling all over the place, with a rack that looks to be about an F-cup. You ask her out. She accepts. You take her to a nice dinner. You take her out for some drinks. You take her out to a movie. Now you have invested time and money in this F-cup dream. Finally, the time comes for you to get in where you fit in and jump on the hanky-panky train. You cop a feel and…wait a second! It feels like you are squeezing a couch pillow, all padding. But you press forward bravely into the great tit unknown. Then she takes off her Miraculous (Read: LIE) Bra and, hey, what the fuck? Where did all that F-cup go? It’s gone. And instead, you are left holding on to a D-cup, maybe a DD-cup. Sure, it’s not THAT bad, but it ain’t the F-cup you were promised. It’s a lie.
Maybe I am being harsh because I am a woman with larger chesticles, but to me, these miracle bras are like driving off the lot in what you thought was a Mercedes only to find out you bought a Lexus. Sure, it’s still a luxury car, but it’s NOT THE SAME.
It boils down to the idea that women shouldn’t create lies about their tits. The two-cup sizes lie is the worst thing ever created. That’s like a two-inch lie from a guy. Trust me when I say that when it comes down to it, two-inches makes a big difference! lol
What say you, tit men? Have you encountered these deceptive undergarments? Are you pissed about it? Do you accept it? Does it matter? Chime in.
During Boob Cruise 2000 in April of that year, Casey James, Maxi Mounds and Minka were nicknamed The Tit-ans. People used to trail our ship in small boats to see these three on deck and on the beach. I never saw anything like it.
In 2001, SCORE brought this trio, plus Plenty UpTopp, SaRenna Lee and Kayla Kleevage, to Florida for a movie called Mega-Boob Olympics. The DVD became one of our biggest hits and continues to sell very well. I’ve seen the DVD in dozens of stores. There’s something about girls stacked like Otis Sweat models brought to life that exerts an hypnotic power on lots of breast-men. Super-sized tits may not be for every man but for a very sizable group, they are.
The Bra-killers and Their Deadly Weapons
This week, the eBoobStore releases the DVD The Tit-ans, a solo compilation of 16 super-juggy SCORE babes spanning the past 10 years. There’s oiling, creaming, tight tops, bras, swimsuits and costumes, wet T-shirts, toy fucking and sucking, JO encouragement and more by the greats, both longtime faves and newbies such as Angel Gee, Angelique, Melonie Charm, Kayla Kleevage, Casey, Maxi and the newest fantasy super-titter to bust out into the world, Germany’s Beshine in her only DVD to date.
Boobs beyond belief. The Tit-ans have ’em. Check out the trailer at eBoobStore.
Here we see Terry’s shy, highly delicious nipples.
I love girls with inverted nipples. (Or girls with, “shy nipples,” as my friend Jenna Valentine likes to call them.) There is something about them that makes me want to suck them right out into hardness. It’s something about the peekaboo way they are shy that makes me wild. Jenna Valentine has a nice pair of shy nipples, but Terry Nova‘s are tops on my list. First of all, Terry Nova is a shy girl. Her demeanor is very quiet and she reminds me of that nerdy girl in high school…that girl from “band camp” who is really a freak in the sheets. In this set of Terry, which happens to be my favorite and is featured in SCORE September 2010, she is perfect. Her outfit, with those shorts that are more straps than shorts, are perfect. And here by the sea in Eleuthera, in these two pictures, we see her shy nature and her shy nipples and it’s absolutely perfect. Did I mention that everything in this pictorial is perfect?!
Thanks to K.S. over in Great Britain for alerting me to this story that’s been squirting all over the Internet like a busted baby-bottle nipple.
A Covent Garden ice cream shop called Icecreamists has been relieved of its new frosty taste treat called Baby Gaga by government officials. It’s because of one of the ingredients in Baby Gaga: human breast milk. The rest is made of Madagascan vanilla pods and lemon zest. Baby Gaga went on sale last week, cost curious customers $20 a cup and sold out the first day. There are apparently a lot of lactation fans in London who were interested in getting their moo-moo juice from another source than the original tap. The owner of Icecreamists is a gent named Matt O’Connor. Matt has 15 breast-milk supplying ladies who pump out their tits at home and send it to Icecreamists. They make £15 for 10 ounces which is currently $24.50. 35 more lactating mammas have signed up since O’Connor released Baby Gaga but now the future of this dairy product is in jeopardy.
The Westminster cabinet member for business told the press: “Following two complaints from members of the public and concerns from the Health Protection Agency and Food Standards Agency, our officers visited the premises and removed all ice cream being sold as containing breast milk. Selling foodstuffs made from another person’s bodily fluids can lead to viruses being passed on and in this case, potentially hepatitis.” Mr. O’Connor issued his own statement: “As far as we are aware there is no law prohibiting a business from selling breast milk ice cream.” He said his company screens its breast milk donors, the same way the UK National Health Service screens blood donors, before pasteurizing the milk. I’m not sure if they check the cholesterol levels.
Icecreamists could have gotten in touch with Kristina Milan if they really wanted to stock up on the baby beverage!
Millions of babies around the world suck milk from their mothers’ nipples every day without health issues so the reason for the seizure doesn’t really make sense, especially if the milk is screened and pastuerized. It’s more likely because of the sexual angle involved or at least the sexual angle in the minds of the complainants. Fact is, there’s a low-key subculture of adult males who hire wet-nurses to suckle for their breast milk and a lot of it goes on in the UK. I knew a Brit years ago who used to seek out and hire lactating mothers for that reason. No sex was involved, just nipple sucking and milk consumption.
Sarah Mercury's food orgy set includes a lot of chocolate and berries!
But what the fuck do “they” know, anyway? ‘Round these parts, we like our chocolate during sex, hence why occasionally, we enjoy what I like to refer to as, THE ‘FUCK ME’ SUNDAE.
Crystal's chocolate-covered guns look like a mouthful!
Chloe's looks like she needs a helping tongue.
The fuck me sundae is like a dessert for your eyes, tummy and dick all at once. You see, it starts off with a hot chick and ends with her covered in sticky chocolate syrup. And there’s this helpful part of me that thinks, “Hey, that girl needs help. Someone should lick all that chocolate off of her. Hey! I can do that!” You know…’cause I’m helpful. lol
Over the years, we have shot a bunch of these kinds of photosets, but the top three, for me anyway, are Crystal Gunns, Sarah Mercury and Chloe. Maybe it’s because I would gladly help them get clean any day of the week and twice on Sundae? (I know, I know! I’m so punny!)
I know we’ve talked about whipped cream before, but what do you think about the chocolate situation? Some people might be put off by the messiness of it, but not me. I like chocolate and I like hot chicks, so it works for my perv side. But what about you guys? Chime in on chocolate!
In all honesty, around here at The SCORE Group, I’m more of a magazine guy than a Web guy. I’m talking about my responsibilities, my job. Which means there are days when I’m as surprised and excited by a new SCORELAND posting as you are. Anyway, all of this is a roundabout way of saying that when I saw that a pictorial of Chessie Moore was scheduled to go up today, my first reaction was, “Holy shit!” And my second reaction was, “Thank you, Elliot.”
Then I went to check out the photos, and there she was, vintage Chessie in a set shot by JLG Studios in 1992: the platinum blonde hair, the early ’90s wild hairstyle, the pumped-up tits, the slut face, the meaty, pliable pussy lips that she always loved to pull apart, the pretzel pose. Chessie was always more porn star than SCORE Girl (besides, at her best, she pre-dated SCORE), but she was always one of my favorites, one of my go-to girls. The kind of girl who loved sex. It showed all over her face when she was fucking. This girl didn’t do it for the money. She did it (and is still doing it) because she’s a wild, sex-crazed nympho. She did it all, and she did some things that about 99.99999% of the population would never do. But I’m not going to get into that.
Here’s what I will get into: no big-boobed porn star EVER has deep-throated cock like Chessie did, has taken it up the ass like Chessie did, has fucked with the kind of wild abandon that Chessie did. It’s pretty much a fact that the porn of today is more extreme, more wild, than the porn of 10 or 20 years ago. Well, Chessie was 20 years ahead of her time. And, 19 years after the pictures being posted today were shot, she’s still a welcome sight. Now, there might be some of you out there who have never seen her in her prime. Today is your chance to check her out.
We all know that the SCORE headquarters are in Miami and that Miami is the place to be, especially when most of the country is still freezing and detesting the cold weather. Now, before you all roll your eyes and mutter all sorts of curses about us Floridian folks who are enjoying beach weather these days, know this: Miami is unbelievably, unbearably hot. Like, uncomfortably hot. In the summertime, it gets so hot that we spend a lot of time indoors. You know why? Because it’s so hot that you start to sweat and sizzle.
Now, don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with heat. In fact, it’s fine and dandy…when you involve water. That’s right! Our hot weather becomes somewhat bearable if you pair it with a pool, or a hose, or the beach.
Alia Janine's big wet tits make me thirsty!
Now, you may ask yourself, “Where is Maria going with this?” Well, here is where I am going; I am going to talk about photos showing girls in the great outdoors, dousing their big jugs with loads…of water. (Although the other kinds of loads on tits are fun, too!) Yup, this one’s about hosed-down hooters. Because there is nothing wrong with a stacked doll getting sprayed down in the sunshine.
Rachel Love's big wet tits look so good she takes a sip.
I, for one, love pictures of a woman being hosed down. I like the streams of water cascading down her tits. I like how all of the girls always laugh when the cold water makes contact with their hot skin. I like the way the minute the water hits their tits, that their nipples get harder than diamonds in an ice storm. For me, WATER + TITS + SUNSHINE = GOOD.
And the reason that I am bringing this up is since summer is right around the corner….I am wondering if you guys like this and want to see more of it? Because since the weather down here will be sweltering hot soon, it will be no problem for us to get busties naked in the sunshine and hose them down for you! So, do chime in and do send in your suggestions! I, for one, will be listening!
I am probably in the minority here but I’d rather watch girls dance than see them use sex toys.
That’s why I used to spend many happy hours in strip clubs. I cut way back because it’s very hard to find busty dancers these days, especially in South Florida where many of the strippers usually have skinny, average bodies.
I can’t even remember the last local dancer we shot for SCORE or Voluptuous who had A RACK. She may have been the great Jezhabelle back in 2004. I almost never go to Florida strip clubs anymore. It’s too depressing.
