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Women fuck power. Men fuck pussy.

December 27, 2009 by Dave 11 Comments
Maybe Tiger wouldn't have strayed if his caddy looked like Bobbi. Then again, maybe he would've fucked his caddy.

Maybe Tiger wouldn't have strayed if his caddy looked like Bobbi. Then again, maybe he would've fucked his caddy.

Elliot and I were sitting around at lunch talking about Tiger Woods and how women are attracted to men with power, fame and intelligence while men couldn’t give a shit about any of those things. All they want is tits, ass and pussy. Obviously in Tiger’s case, even face isn’t so important because several of the women he fucked–oh, sorry, allegedly fucked–are baggers compared to his wife. One of them, this blonde skank who keeps appearing all over TV, had me thinking, “He risked his marriage to fuck that?”

Kiki Carter lines up a putty while we line up her ass.

Would Tiger Woods finally fuck a black woman if Kiki Carter was lining up a putt on the 18th green?

But for Tiger, it was all about getting laid. I’m guessing that blonde skank sucked his cock down to the knob until she gagged, was into facials (because Tiger couldn’t risk cumming in her pussy) and let him fuck her ass. You know, all the things that either 1.) His wife wouldn’t let him do because those are girlfriend things, not wife things; or 2.) Tiger didn’t want to do because she’s the mother of his children. No. 2 is Elliot’s take on the matter.

But I’m getting away from the point. There are female politicians (including some very high-profile ones) all over Washington who I wouldn’t fuck with your dick, and their power and fame do nothing to make them more attractive to me. But the male version of these women–and they’re all over D.C., too–gets all the pussy he wants. Why? Because women are attracted to power and intelligence. I mean, really, Salman Rushdie, the author, married supermodel Padma Lakshmi, the host of TV’s Top Chef, in what must be the biggest looks mismatch ever (although Maria thinks that honor goes to Anna-Nicole Smith and The Crypt Keeper).

Now, I’m not saying Tiger is a bad-looking guy, but let’s face it: If he wasn’t the best golfer in the world, he wouldn’t be bagging super-models and 14 party-ho skanks. I mean, I don’t see any guys lining up to fuck Lorena Ochoa.

Who’s Lorena Ochoa, right?

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Rating: 3.9/5

Jiggle jugs all the way this holiday weekend at SCORELAND

December 26, 2009 by Elliot James 3 Comments
A SCORE Christmas card by The Man, Otis Sweat, from 1996!

A SCORE Christmas card by The Man, Otis Sweat, from 1996!

This weekend on SCORELAND, a blonde, slim-n-stacked superhottie gets the shaft. Up the ass. A busty South American babydoll meets us in erotic city Buenos Aries. And a slim-n-stacked Seattle SCORE Girl named Lillian Faye plays with a sticky toy in the SCORE Studio.

Paola on the loose in the streets of Buenos Aries.

Paola on the loose in the streets of Buenos Aries.

Paola Rios of Paraguay doesn’t speak English, but that’s no problem. Her video this weekend is subtitled in English so you can hear her sexy voice in her native tongue. “I always love to see my photos on SCORELAND,” Paola tells us. “I had so much fun when you came to meet me in Buenos Aries. It can be very difficult to find the magazine in stores in South America, so I’m happy that guys anywhere can see me on SCORELAND.”

SCORE Man E.B. says, “Paola Rios is my favorite SCORE girl currently modeling. The images of her neatly sculpting her bush drove me wild.” K.D. raved that “Paola has a great smile, a tremendous ass and big, beautifully-shaped natural breasts.”

Paola Rios brings her natural bazonkas to the show this weekend!

Paola Rios brings her natural bazonkas to the show this weekend!

Shyla Stylez is one of the hottest sex toys to hit SCORE in the last two years. She’s like Pam Anderson…only hornier, hotter and smuttier. Holds nothing back. Delivers it all. When she makes an “Anal Reservation” for Sunday, Shyla can be guaranteed the best seat in the house. With a boner on it.

Shyla gets a big cock delivery in every hole this weekend.

Shyla gets a big cock delivery in every hole this weekend.

Shyla’s got it all. At 108 luscious pounds, her 40-22-32 figure and 34DD-cups turn cocks into steel pipes everywhere she goes. Despite her name, Shyla is anything but shy. “I’m just a girl from a small town in Canada who wants to make it big in the porn world,” Shyla told us. She succeeded.

100% slim, stacked and ready for the high, hard one.

100% slim, stacked and ready for the high, hard one.

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Rating: 4.4/5

Have yourself a very Brady Xmas!

December 25, 2009 by Elliot James 5 Comments

Cherry Brady’s birthday is today, as SCORELANDER Dino pointed out. But I had a reason for not adding Cherry to the week’s birthday BLOG. To celebrate this momentous occasion, when Mr. and Mrs. Brady gave the world a rare gift, let’s gather ’round the Yule log so I can tell a very Brady Xmas story.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

It was Thursday, September 2, 2004, and we were shooting B.L.O.W. (Busty Ladies of Oil Wrestling) in the SCORE Studio. You’ve seen B.L.O.W., right? In fact, you should own the DVD on sale in the eBoobStore if you want to get on my good side. For those of you who don’t own it or have never seen B.L.O.W. on SCORELAND, Cherry, Annie Swanson, Angela White and Brandy Talore were the oil wrestlers, and they destroyed any female wrestlers before or since then. Dave was the ringside color man, and I was the ref. (Which I found out a few hours before the match.) It was the greatest wrasslin’ show I ever witnessed, let alone participated in, in my life. Cherry, Angela, Annie and Brandy oiled and rolling around on a mat? Hooter heaven, friends. But what you may not know was that we had an uninvited guest fast approaching from the Atlantic Ocean. A big, fat, Category 4 massive monster of a guest who didn’t fuck around. Hurricane Frances. Set to nail America right in the groin: the cock-shaped state of Florida. And fear was starting to set in.

Not only did we have to shoot B.L.O.W., a major project, but we had to batten down the SCORE building and everything in our office. And get the SCORE websites ready and up before the weekend arrived. And get some of the print mags off to the printers. And get the girls safely home before the hurricane nailed Florida. Home for Angela meant Australia! Controlled chaos? High anxiety? The understatement of our careers. But we did it! Angela’s jet left for Sydney and so did Brandy’s, right before Miami International Airport shut down. Florida local Annie drove safely home in time. And Cherry? She weathered the storm here, hunkered down in her hotel near the SCORE building. On September 4, 2004, Frances the bitch battered the east coast of Florida, downgraded to a Category 2, a still very powerful and dangerous hurricane. But not powerful enough to beat the Busty Ladies of Oil Wrestling. And that, kiddos, is my very Brady Xmas story.

Happy Birthday, Cherry, and Merry Titmas, Cherry, Brandy, Angela and Annie.

What? You don't have the B.L.O.W. DVD on your shelf?!

What? You don't have the B.L.O.W. DVD on your shelf?!

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Rating: 4.2/5

Tatiana. Totally fresh titanic tits. Our holiday gift to you.

December 24, 2009 by Dave 19 Comments

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays…whatever, Blog readers. I have a gift for you. Big, new, natural tits, unwrapped. They belong to Tatiana who has never gotten nude on camera anywhere. I’m not going to say much about Tatiana, other than that she’s only 4’10”, is really cute and has a pair of C-A-N-S! The video says more than I could possible say. Of course, she’s coming soon to SCORELAND and XLGIRLS.COM, but I couldn’t wait to see her naked and stormed into the studio, camera in hand. Enjoy. Jack if you want. Don’t worry about that “he knows if you’ve been bad or good” stuff. It’s too late for that. Have a great holiday.–Dave

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Rating: 4.6/5

The Best of the Decade: These are the final 10!

December 23, 2009 by Dave 33 Comments

With a big rally in the final hours, Angela White squeezed past Brandy Talore last night to earn a spot in the Final 10 in the “Best of the Decade” countdown at SCORELAND. For all the early controversy about augmented and black ‘n’ stacked models being eliminated before many of us (including me) thought they should have been eliminated, the girls who remain are pretty representative of the best new big-boobed discoveries of the decade that’s winding to a close.

Angela White: 2008 V-Mag Model of the Year. All-around cutie. Was a big hit with all the girls at the Big-Boob Paradise shoot. Loves being a SCORE and V-Girl.

Merilyn Sakova: 2005 Newcomer of the Year, 2006 SCORE Model of the Year, two-time runner-up for SCORE Model of the Year.

Sharday: 2001 Newcomer of the Year and 2002 Model of the Year in SCORE and Voluptuous. And she’s on the verge of being inducted into the SCORE Big-Boob Hall of Fame.

Christy Marks: 2007 Newcomer of the Year, 2008 Model of the Year. Fucks a lot. Took it up the ass just for you.

Nicole Peters: 2003 SCORE and Voluptuous Newcomer of the Year, 2004 Voluptuous Model of the Year.

Karina Hart: 2008 SCORE and Voluptuous Newcomer of the Year, frontrunner for 2009 SCORE and Voluptuous Model of the Year.

Rounding out the list: Natalie Fiore, whose recent growth spurt puts her in elite company among naturals; Ines Cudna, one of the most beautiful SCORE models ever; Bea Flora, ditto; and Anna Song, a super-sexy natural who…well, yes, I’m surprised she’s hung around this long, but then again, there isn’t a girl in the competition I’d rather fuck.

When this whole thing started 90 days ago, I expected Karina, Nicole, Christy, Sharday and Merilyn to be in the final 10, so all in all, considering the long grind and the admittedly complicated voting procedure (in which you vote daily to eliminate a girl), that’s not bad.

Now remember: The rules stay the same for the final 10. Today, you’re voting on who should be No. 10, so do NOT vote for your favorite. Vote for the girl who you think should be No. 10. Same for Nos. 9, 8, 7, 6, all the way down to the Final Two showdown on December 31, when again, you’ll vote for the girl you think SHOULDN’T WIN.

Who do I think is going to win? I’m not saying. I’m also not going to say anything about recent voting trends, even though they are very interesting. When this whole thing started, the votes were spread out among 100 girls, but now they’re concentrated among only 10, and trends change by the hour. So make sure you vote every day (you must be a SCORELAND member to vote).

I do know this: Whoever wins, we’ll be proud to name her “Best of the Decade.”

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Rating: 4.6/5

What girls really mean when they say, “I want your cum!”

December 22, 2009 by Dave 12 Comments
Carmen Hayes really does want your cum.

Carmen Hayes really does want your cum.

So I’m reviewing a 40Something video yesterday, and this 42-year-old MILF named Chloe (no, not that Chloe, SCORE Men) is upside down getting her ass piledriven, and she’s moaning, “Oh, I want your cum! Give me your cum! I want your sticky cum all over my body!” and that’s when it hit me: When a chick says, “I want your cum,” she’s not really saying, “I want your cum.” She’s saying, “I’m done. Cum already.”

Of course, in the video I was watching, the MILF was trying to be dirty and nasty. She was being porny. But in real life, if you’re fucking a chick, and it’s been going on for a while, and she has already cum once or a few times, when she moans in your ear, so sweetly, “Oh, honey, I want your cum,” she’s really saying, “Would you please cum already? I’m finished. It’s time to move on to the next activity.” Probably cuddling. She’s not been a cum slut. She’s being polite.

For some reason, this reminds me of Helen Thomas, the former White House correspondent for United Press International. As the senior correspondent, she had the duty of ending Presidential press conferences by standing up and saying, “Thank you, Mr. President.” And that meant the press conference was over. Of course, Thomas wasn’t really thanking the President. That was her nice way of saying, “This is going on too long. The questions are getting stupid. You’re not answering them, anyway. Let’s end this.”

I asked some of the women in the office about this “I want your cum” thing and they all laughed, then agreed. All except Maria, who disagreed. I have no comment about that.

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Rating: 4.4/5

Birthday girl blowout

December 21, 2009 by Elliot James 8 Comments

No ordinary birthday girl can hold a candle next to these SCORELAND cupcakes. Happy birthday!

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Rating: 4.5/5

The Great Weight Debate

December 21, 2009 by Maria 14 Comments

So, it’s awards time round the V-Mag headquarters, and everyone has voting fever. I get tons of emails all day long with people’s votes and opinions and honorable mentions. I will say that the race is a tight one and that even I am getting caught up in the frenzy. While I could chat for hours about how the results are going and who the forerunners are, I will not. (I don’t want to spoil the fun for anyone. So stay tuned for the results in the June 2010 issue of V-Mag, boys.)

However, I will talk about one of the serious contenders for V-Mag Plumper of the Year, and that lady happens to be Sapphire. Not only is she the only model to have swept this category for three years in a row, she is also a Voluptuous and XL Girls favorite, and there isn’t a week that goes by that we don’t get letters about this lovely ginger.

Now, while I only recently met Sapphire on the set of My Big, Plump Wedding, (I was one of the guests at the wedding. 😉 ) I have seen her photos for years while working at SCORE and have seen her evolution from slim newcomer to Plumper legend.

Well, today I was talking about Sapphire with a few people in the office (We were discussing what would happen if she won the Plumper of the Year award for the fourth time), and we got into what I will call the Great Weight Debate. You see, some of the staff remember and prefer Sapphire when she was a slim and stacked redhead in the pages of V-Mag’s July ’03 issue. And some of them say that she came into her own when she returned to V-Mag as a Plumper, like in the V-Mag June ’08 issue.

Now, I am not an expert here, but to me, what it boils down to is tit power. Sure, Sapphire had big boobs when she was slimmer, but her boobs are even BIGGER now that she is a little heavier, and that, to me, is why I prefer her as a plumper. (But then again, I am a curvy girl myself, so I am biased.) And although I appreciate all of her curves, for some of the guys in the office, her fuller frame doesn’t cut it.

We could have discussed this for hours, but I suggested that we take it to the masses, which is why I am going to ask you guys.

So what say you, boob gallery? In The Great Weight Debate is skinny superlative to heavy? Or does rotund outweigh slim when it comes to V-girls? Does it matter? Let me know. xoxo Maria

Sapphire in her July '03 layout of V-mag.

Sapphire in her July '03 layout of V-Mag.

Sapphire, heavier but packing more tit power for sure.

Sapphire in the June '08 issue of V-Mag.

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Rating: 4.0/5

Retro Pinups: Chesty and Classy.

December 20, 2009 by Maria 28 Comments
Bunny's ruffled undies are classic pinup style.

Bunny's ruffled undies are classic pinup style.

There is something about a curvy chick in full-on pinup attire that does something for me. Maybe it’s that as a child, I watched a lot of old movies on public television (We didn’t have cable until the ’90s at my house), and that included lots of old movies with Jayne Mansfield, Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe. I became obsessed with women in cute, little outfits that showed lots of leg and ample bosom. They didn’t appear slutty to me, but rather, they were curvaceous, classy women who seemed to always be

London looks like a curvaceous calendar girl in this outfit.

London looks like a curvaceous calendar girl in this outfit.

Daphne may not be showing a lot of skin, but there is no denying her curves in this retro outfit.

Daphne may not be showing a lot of skin, but there is no denying her curves in this retro outfit.

having the time of their lives and could walk into a room and instantaneouly hold the attention of everyone there.They oozed this confident, semi-cheeky sensuality that I thought was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

In fact, I remember finding a box of slides once in my grandfather’s study, and it was full of half-naked pinups. And although I was old enough to know that these were “dirty pictures,” I was fascinated by these sexy women. I thought that they were amazing in their lingerie and garters. It made such an impression on me that I would, in my adult years, go on to dress this way for fancy events. To me, pinup style is the epitome of hot. I think it’s, well, the cat’s meow. 😉

This shot moved me so much that it landed Hillary the cover of the Dec. '09 issue of V-mag.

This shot moved me so much that it landed Hillary the cover of the Dec. '09 issue of V-mag.

Maybe this is why when I do photo edits here at SCORELAND, the pics that I love most are the ones that channel that old Hollywood style I have come to equate with smoldering sexuality. In fact, when doing the photo edits for Voluptuous‘ December 2009 issue, I came across this shot of Hillary Hooterz, who just so happened to be debuting in said issue. When my art director Vanessa and I took a closer look, we both knew that this was THE shot, and we put it on the cover.

Just take a look at Hillary’s beautiful face and heaving cleavage spilling out of that blouse and showing just a peek of her polka-dotted bra. This shot, at least to me, teases and tantalizes and is probably hotter than if she had just posed topless. There is something about a woman who can show her curves and do it in such a way that even though she is fully clothed, you get just as horny as if she were naked. That’s the allure of pinup style, and whenever I see a girl dressed this way (Even when they are dressed in more of a Rockabilly style, which is, like, pinups with lots of tattoos), I am instantly drawn to her.

Just thought I’d share, considering that I confess most of my rack ruminations on here. Are you guys into pinups as much as I am?

xoxo, Maria

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Rating: 4.7/5

The redhead, the brunette, the blonde and you must have Faith.

December 19, 2009 by Elliot James 1 Comment

This weekend at SCORELAND, Renee Ross takes a dive, the videos are hot and hooterized and we take a fond look back at a real knockout of a chesty girl.

Seeing Renee in a tight, white T-shirt is a pleasure, but it was a hot day in Miami. Her 40Js needed cooling off, as will you once you gaze upon this fresh pictorial.

Look out...flying hooters!

Look out...flying hooters!

Meanwhile, 38DDD redhead Brandy Dean stars in a 27-minute poolside sexxx session on Sunday in SCORE Theater. If you love bikinis, oiled boobs and lots of point-of-view sex, don’t go back to work on Monday without seeing it. It’s a miracle the pool water didn’t turn into steam from all that body heat and friction.

Brandy Dean enjoys the Yule log by a cool pool.

Brandy Dean enjoys the Yule log by a cool pool.

Back on land, Indianna Jaymes, native of Portland and guest of SCORELAND, plays bobbing for boner as her heavy 36G hangers dangle at a right angle in the December 19th SCORE Theater video “Leave Your Boots On!”

It's nice to be in Indianna.

It's nice to be in Indianna.

And we remember a chick who had it all and showed it all in the late 1990s, Faith Stevens. Discovered by SCORE reader and Boob Cruise sailor R.P. during one of his lap-dance club journeys, Faith’s modeling career was way too short. SCORELAND pays homage to the power of Faith with an up-close and personal video and over 100 photographs.
It's Faith Stevens day at SCORELAND

It's Faith Stevens day at SCORELAND

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Rating: 4.2/5