This time of year, give the gift of tits...lots and lots of tits.
Oh, the holidays. There are long-ass lines to wait in. There are people with snarky attitudes to deal with. There are expensive doo-dads to buy. Then there is the wrapping paper…the mountains of fucking wrapping paper. Then you have that moment when you hand a person what you think is the BEST GIFT EVER, only to see that brief flash of WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! OH, THIS SUCKS in their eyes.
Because sometimes you buy the wrong gift. It happens.
And you know what? It happens because people over-think gifts.
Well, here is my advice because I, too, have given bad gifts…YOU CAN NEVER GO WRONG WITH TITS.
Tits are the gift that keep on giving, and not only wood. That’s why this year, give that special someone on your list a membership to SCORELAND. Full of big boobs, XXX, orgies, big-tit lesbian action, threeways, articles (Because you read…sometimes.), games, jokes, art, videos and more, SCORELAND is the best way to tell someone, “Here, I care for you. Now please, go jack off for weeks.”
Isn’t that pleasant?
You can give the gift of tits on any occasion, but when you give someone the gift of SCORELAND for the holidays, it’s like you’re adding a little extra joy. It might even mean you are trying to achieve peace on Earth.
And there are no long lines, no one to annoy you in the crush of holiday shoppers, nothing to wrap and whoever you give it to will love it.
We have it on good authority that Santa is sending out SCORELAND memberships every day…from the North Pole for your South Pole.
SCORE DVDs are just not good as re-gifting items. Because anyone who gets a SCORE DVD is not going to let it go!
To paraphrase actor Charlton Hooters, SCORE DVD collector, “You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.”
Which brings me to Tits & Tugs #8 with 13 jack and tit-fucking jobs given by 11 extraordinary hotties. (Two scenes have two girls working over one boner. Double your pleasure, ya know.)
Tits & Tugs point-of-view videos are very popular, and I’ll tell you one of the reasons. All guys have a lazy streak. This is a fact of male life. We can be lazy bums. There are times when we’re even too lazy and tired to fuck and just want to be serviced. Fucking can be work. It’s fun work but it’s still work.
After a long day on the job, there are times when a guy just wants to lay back and have a pair of nice, soft, feminine hands and some deep cleavage get that heavy load out. We like it when a girl takes things into her own hands. We enjoy watching her face, her hands, her tits as she applies that magic touch. That’s why guys go to massage parlors all over the world after work even though they tell their significant others that it’s for their backs.
So that’s one of the reasons the Tits & Tugs series came to be. And no one does this better with the best-looking, bustiest babes more consistently than us.
Tits & Tugs 8 stars:
Bailey Santanna
Beverly Paige
Catt Green
Charlee Chase
Claudia Kealoha
Desiree
Danica Danali
Elaina Gregory
Elizabeth Starr
Maserati
Valory Irene
See the trailer at eBoobStore.com, then get your own copy.
From time to time I get letters and emails from super fans who want me to tell their favorite models all sorts of sordid and wild things. And you know what? I get it. I get the “want to do all sorts of raunchy as fuck” things to the girls who give you wood, man. I get it.
From time to time I get letters asking for things like pictures, signed posters, panties, bras, hair, pubes, shoes, pantyhose…all sorts of items that might smell, have been touched by or belonged to a model. And you know what? I get it, too. Sometimes you want to be closer to the models who make your balls ache and your cum fly, man. I get it.
And then there is fan poetry.
And sometimes even my vast dialect and grasp of the English language is tested by these odes of love and sonnets of sexual desire.
Like this poem about Micky Bells by her super fan K.H.S. who sent in this um, mutant Haiku, in an email:
“Micky, your kitty tastes like WIN.
I so dearly want you from behind.
Building up my nut ‘till what I really want most,
is for you to wrap your breast around my moist, wet cock,
still covered with the cream from when you came.
I made you shiver and then I made you scream.
So soft your flesh, I can no longer contest,
as I release my whipped cream.
I’m living the real dream with you, Micky.
Between your titties I do swell.
I’m not done yet, rub it in.
Use my lotion, now let me slide down.
I need to be wrapped inside your creamy thighs.
I am mesmerized by the lust in your eyes.
Lips so sweet the taste a treat.
R. Kelly’s playing,
It’s time for us to pump and grind.”
I will admit that when I read this, I had a real double rainbow moment…(WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?!)
And while I don’t know what this poem is implying, I know this: That dude up there, he loves Micky Bells. I mean, he loves her. And I think that is commendable and sweet…in a creamy, bump and grinding kind of way. lol
So, congratulations, K.H.S., your devotion has earned you honorable mention and a photo. Here is a Bonus Boner Pic, or a B.B.P., for you, buddy.
It's not a stretch to think that Venera will win 2011 SCORE Newcomer of the Year.
Valory Irene would love to win 2011 SCORE Newcomer of the Year, and she might.
Voting booths are still open for the 2011 SCORE and Voluptuous Awards at SCORELAND. Since I’m the editor of SCORE, I’m always interested in how the voting by SCORELAND members compares to the voting by SCORE readers, and this year, the results (so far) have been very interesting.
For Newcomer of the Year, mag readers have had Valory Irene in the lead by a slight margin over Venera, Beshine and Leanne Crow. But in the SCORELAND voting, members have Venera with a slight lead over Leanne, Valory and Terri Jane with Beshine in fifth. Regarding Beshine, I think this probably goes to show that mag readers tend to be people who have been with us since the 1990s and experienced the super-sized era while SCORELAND members tend to be a little bit newer and favor naturals. In the combined voting, Valory and Venera have been exchanging the lead since the start, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Leanne picked up enough votes to grab the coveted crown.
For Model of the Year, SCORE readers currently have Kelly Christiansen (so much for my augmented theory) and Karla James trading the lead almost every day with Miosotis in third and Eva Notty and Karina Hart going at it for fourth. SCORELAND members have it Miosotis one, Karina two, Kelly three and Eva Notty four. I’m not surprised by this. Karla has been gaining popularity since Day One, Kelly had a great 2011 of XXX scenes (and she’s beautiful, and she’s stacked, and she has a great personality) while Miosotis…well, last year’s Newcomer of the Year defies description.
Anyway, you still have time to influence the voting and help out your favorite girl. The booths close December 30. Vote now!
Eva Notty is a hairstylist with loads of style and a bra packed with big, beautiful tits in “Fast Bangs” (from the SCORE movie Boob Science), now showing for the first time at SCORELAND.
Superwoman Mandy (Daphne Rosen) has brought her two geek creators, Dexter and Sheldon, to the Fast Bangs salon for a cut ‘n’ blow. These dudes couldn’t get laid in a cathouse, and they need all the help they can get to pop their nuts.
The two nerds cannot hook up with the ladies, a situation that Mandy wants to correct at the Fast Bangs salon with Eva’s eager help.
Mandy wants Eva to do the honors for Sheldon because she can blow and bang a man into next week. Mandy couldn’t have picked a better teacher than Eva in the art of wham-bam-boom.
A lot of the fucking and sucking is shot P.O.V., and that amps up the thermostat.
I’ve actually had hair cutters who looked and dressed as hot as Eva does, but all they gave me was the brush and a blow-off.
Melissa Manning (left) and Kelly Christiansen are very excited about the 2011 SCOREtv Holiday Edition. The show debuts tomorrow on SCORELAND.
A lot of entertaining things have been happening around here recently.
Santa Lucas gave Kelly Christiansen a spanking.
Minka stretched a collection of Christmas sweaters with her KK-cup boobs. Those sweaters are totally ruined.
Maserati and Beverly Paige went caroling.
Melissa Manning licked and sucked a candy cane or two. Or three.
And Frosty had a night out he’ll never forget…unless he has a meltdown.
And me? Well, despite X.D. and J.D. telling me to keep my dirty mitts (actually, my voice) away from the models, I’ve been interviewing one girl after another for the 2011 SCOREtv Holiday Edition, which goes live tomorrow at SCORELAND. The girls: Kelly, Maserati, Minka, Destiny Rose, Melissa Manning, Desiree and Samantha 38G. Plus special guest appearances by Venera, Micky Bells, Beverly Paige, Jasmine Shiraz, Karen Fisher and Nancy Navarro.
I’m really in the holiday spirit this year. Check out the show and you’ll see why.
There are many costumes/scenarios SCORELAND members request that make perfect sense to me. School teacher. Who among us hasn’t had a fantasy about his busty teacher? Cheerleader. Who among us hasn’t lusted after a busty pom-pom girl? Waitress? Who among us hasn’t given a better tip to a busty, cleavage-revealing waitress for the exact-same service that a less-endowed waitress provided?
And then there’s French maid.
Thanks, Karina. I think I'm starting to understand this French maid thing.
I understand the basic idea. You hire a housecleaner. The maid shows up at your door. She’s super-busty. She’s going around your house cleaning things, reaching, bending, getting down on her hands and knees, and by the time she leaves, you’re actually hoping she did a bad job so she’ll have to come back and do it all over again.
But French maid? Why French?
I bring this up because a new set of Jennifer Vokova goes up today at SCORELAND, and in it, she’s a French maid (mind you, Jennifer is Czech). And I love the outfit. Everything about it. I think every busty model should do a shoot in this outfit.
Which I guess answers my question, although you gotta admit, “French maid’ doesn’t naturally roll off your tongue after “school teacher, cheerleader, waitress.”
I guess it’s all about the outfit, right? Or is it just that French anything sounds good?
Here’s the TV show that Jimmy Kimmel would like to have on ABC but can’t.
I’ve blogged about SCOREtv Uncut & Uncensored before. It’s one of my favorite SCORE DVDs of the last five years, a XXX spin-off of the fast and sexy SCOREtv series. It’s horny and it’s funny. There’s a saying around the SCORE office for lots of years that “there’s nothing funny about a hard-on” but I like the merger of hot, busty sex and comedy. I was never a fan of dark, moody, hardcore dramas.
I loved the entire format of five SCORE Girls sitting down to chat before, after and sometimes during sex. Kelly Christiansen was beautiful and picture perfect, just a little mussed up from riding the north pole in the “green room” right before going on stage. I don’t think this happens on the Jay Leno NBC set. Maybe at the Letterman show, from what I’ve read about him.
My favorite scene is when Dave and Angelina Castro, on the SCOREtv set, watch Angelina being boned in the culo and talk about it. How often is that done? We did that once before with Karen Fisher in 2006 and not enough in my opinion. There’s something extra-hot and horny about a model’s reactions and her spontaneous comments when she watches her own XXX video. Why is that? Because you rarely see it.
Exotic stripper Stephanie Stalls did her first anal and showed how flexible she is. (A SCORE regular the past two years, Stephanie’s dancing right now at Frank Day’s in South Dakota through December.) Kali West and Nadia Night made me proud to be a tit-man.
If you don’t have SCOREtv Uncut & Uncensored on your big-boob movie shelf, you should.
By the way, it’s that time again. The most wonderful time of the year. The brand-new SCOREtv Holiday Edition 2011 is on the way to SCORELAND this week. Keep abreast by checking into the Blog for news and scenes from this all-new boobapalooza. The countdown begins now.
Back in the day, Dawn Stone's shaved cookie was quite unusual. She was rightfully proud of it.
The other day, I was doing a video interview with a new SCORELAND model. She had very nice tits, which is usually the point, but that’s not the point. The point is that during the interview, I had her take off her panties (this is the only time in my life when women never say no), and when I saw that she had a shaved pussy, I asked, “When did you start shaving your pussy?” She answered me, of course, but it wasn’t until a few hours later when I thought about the interview and wondered, Why did I ask her that question?
You see, when I first came to SCORE in 2001, many porn stars shaved their pussies but most every-day women didn’t. In fact, back then, it was unusual for a woman who wasn’t a stripper or a porn star to shave her pussy, and when she did, the subject was worthy of further interrogation. “When did you start shaving your pussy?” “Why did you start shaving your pussy?” “Did you shave it yourself or did someone do it for you?” “Is sex better with a shaved pussy?” Etc., etc. But these days, it’s unusual when a woman DOESN’T shave her pussy.
Basically, what I’m saying here is that my shaved pussy questions are outdated. My shaved pussy interrogatories are probably a waste of time and not of much interest.
So, here and now, I am officially retiring the shaved pussy questions. Of course, the problem with that is I loved shaved pussy, and my mind and cock are stuck in the early 2000s, when a woman shaving her pussy meant she loved to fuck. My eyes are drawn to shaved pussy the way they’re drawn to big tits, and then my brain shuts off and outdated questions follow.
“A PC? Really? You own a computer?”
“A car? You drive a car? Don’t you have to crank the engine all the time?”
“You mean you’ve been on an airplane?”
This just might be one of those old dog/new tricks situations. But I’ll try.
Christy Marks is nominated for Model of the Year in the SCORE Awards.
Kristina Milan is nominated for Plumper of the Year in the V-mag awards.
Valory Irene is nominated for Newcomer of the Year in both the SCORE and V-mag awards.
Vanessa Del is nominated for V-mag’s 2011 XXX of the Year award.
Well, I would’ve illustrated them for you if I had any artistic talent, but I don’t. The most you would get from me is some stick figure with stick-figure boobs. (But they would be BIG stick-figure boobs! lol)
Thank goodness for you that our pal H.D. from Germany can draw. (He draws his figures with big boobs, too. Go figure.)
He sent us some fine, new sketches of some of the finest ladies who are nominated for both the SCORE and V-mag awards.
Speaking of which…have you voted? If you haven’t, you SHOULD. The competition is so tight, the winners will be decided by a few votes. So, if you are the type of person with very strong opinions about tits (like all of us here at SCORELAND!), then cast your votes in the SCORELAND Voting Booth. Voting ends soon, and the fate of your favorite models’ breasts are in your hands.
