Valory Irene has perfect tits. Trust me. And if you don't trust me, trust John Fox. He never lies.
Listen, I’m under strict orders, and I’m not going to grab a photo of new discovery Valory Irene naked and post it on the Blog just so you can get your rocks off on some free tits and I can get myself torn a new asshole. Even posting this photo is probably pushing things a little. You see, this photo is NOT part of the 14-day Valory Irene countdown that’s going on now at SCORELAND, which means that at this point, it’s not an officially sanctioned Valory Irene photo.
Yeah, security is tight around here, but there’s a reason for that. SCORE chief John Fox, who has seen a few hundred-thousand pairs in his day, thinks Valory has the most-perfect tits ever. Actually, his quote was, “If God created the perfect tits, they would be Valory’s.”
I have to say, I’ve seen them, and to quote a famous TV show, “They’re real and they’re spectacular!” Facially, Valory doesn’t look like [INSERT MYSTERY MODEL’S NAME HERE], but in shape, her breasts are nearly dead ringers for [INSERT MYSTERY MODEL’S NAME HERE], and her ass is on a par with [INSERT MYSTERY MODEL’S NAME HERE], too.
Why all the mystery? I could show you. But then somebody would probably kill me.
Anyway, the countdown is going on now, then on September 21, you’ll get Valory’s first video, followed by 13 days of photos, more videos, an interview and more. All with naked tits.
For some reason, the male students were always dropping their pencils in Karla James' classes.
Kali's favorite class was anatomy.
Karina Hart attended one of the rare schools where G-strings were part of the uniform.
This public safety announcement is brought to you by SCORELAND and the SCORE Girls. As hard as it is to believe, school is back in session in many parts of the world (isn’t the new school year supposed to start after Labor Day?). Please drive safely, pay attention to all traffic signs and study SCORELAND every day. You might not learn your ABCs, but you will learn your Ds. And double-Ds. And Fs. And Gs. And so on.
Merilyn Sakova could never understand why the other students had to study so hard to get straight A's.
Janet Jade graduated at the head of her class.
SaRenna Lee in the hottest teacher pictorial ever. See it now at SaRennasWorld.com.
April 13th was National Cleavage Day in South Africa (Wonderbra was behind this holiday). August 5th was National Underwear Day. Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be a National Bra Day (or a National Pussy Lips Day, either, which irritates Dave to no end). To make up for this atrocious oversight, today is declared National Bra Day, at least on SCORELAND.
Last week’s birthday girl (August 11) Jenna Valentine is the official spokesmodel in a 100-image pictorial filled with bras, bras, bras (or brassieres, as I like to call ’em). “Brassiere” has a sexier sound to it. In fact, I’ve written a poem.
No job is too big for Janet's tits.
“Brassiere. It holds the things we love dear. It shifts our balls into second gear. So if the bra fits, she’ll have happy tits.”
Jenna is perfect in this photo shoot. I wish I had a neighbor like Jenna. I’d spend all my time in the backyard. We don’t have a matching video of this brapalooza, so we’re running a video of Jenna taking a nice, soapy bubble bath. If she had bottled that bathwater, I’m positive she could have cleaned up by selling it on eBay.
Also on SCORELAND is a video called “Household Tips From Janet Jade.” Janet washes windows with her tits in this one. They were like breast-shammies, leaving a streak-free shine. Janet doesn’t usually do windows, but she made an exception for SCORE Men. That’s not all Miss Jade does in the video because man does not live by window tittie-washing alone. Proctor & Gamble should take a look at this video. It might get some ideas for new commercials.
While most hitchhikers tend to look like Freddy Krueger, here’s a bunch who can warm the backseats of our cars anytime. Lexxi Tyler will be backseat driving at SCORELAND on August 5. Lexxi can do whatever she wants to do back there. Looking back may not be the safest thing to do for our driver. She’s more dangerous than texting and drinking. What could he say if he was pulled over? “I’m sorry, Officer. Lexxi distracted me by pulling down her top and tugging her panties to the side?” I’m amazed she hasn’t become a porn star.
At Boobhound, leave the driving to us.
Isis Haze is also another driver’s distraction. She should change her name to Isis Road Hazard. However, we did find out that the buzzing sound was not coming from the dashboard.
At least with Jolie Rain, the driver wisely pulled over to the side of the road so Jolie could attempt repairs on his stick shift. It turned out that he actually needed an oil change. After checking his dipstick, she drained his pan. All three of these auto-buffed beauties are a cab driver’s dream. They’re why we tint our windows.
And now the long-awaited follow-up to the first Cherry Brady interview video that we originally broadcast on SCORELAND in November, 2002. I remember it like it was yesterday. Part interview, part clothing and bra show, it was like sitting inside a dressing room in a store’s women’s clothing department, and it set the pace for all the videotaped interviews that followed.
“I always thought it might be some big, seedy porn industry thing, and it’s so not like that,” Cherry said in that interview about her first time modeling for a men’s mag company. (I know the public misperception myself, having seen many well-researched TJ Hooker and Charlie’s Angels episodes.)
Cherry was a V-Mag subscriber (and still is), but she didn’t know what to expect at first. “You guys are the sweetest, most respectful people I’ve ever met,” she said. “I can’t believe it, so I’m just thrilled. You guys made it great.” It’s still one of the best interviews we’ve ever done. Everything clicked. It was all Cherry.
This time, it’s Maria’s turn to interview Cherry Brady, an event she had awaited patiently for a long time.
I haven’t seen it yet. I’ll be watching it at home with all of you this Sunday.
Because you can’t keep a bad pick-up line down for long…
SCORE Girls have heard every cheese-encrusted line in the big book of pick-up quips, much more than any average girl. Here’s a few more ’cause it can’t hurt any more than it already does. Bad beyond human understanding.
The pick-up game has become a cottage industry over the past decade. There’s no shortage of online pick-up gurus trying to sell guys their game for a few bucks. They go way beyond spouting a few opening lines. Today, it’s handled like a science. Worthy of a story in SCORE?
Danielle Derek (left): “Do you like magic? Because I have the magic wand.” Alexia Moore (right): "Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I’ll slam you all night.”
Lena Li: “Would you marry me?”
Brianna Costello: "I thought Very-Fine only came in a bottle."
Karen Fisher: “I may not be the best-looking guy here, but I’m the only guy talking to you.”
Here in Big Boob World, or SCORELAND as you call it, we spend a serious amount of time with tits. From the minute we come in to the office it’s nothing but tits, tits and more tits all day. (Not that I’m complaining at all, mind you.) But there is a problem that we editors run into sometimes. You see, sometimes tits leave us at a loss for words. LITERALLY. I will call Dave or Elliot up and ask them to give me, “Another word for boobs, please.” You see, there are many, many, many ways to call a boob, well, a boob. But sometimes, I come across a pair of tatas that need something extra-special. So, over the years, I have started a collection of boob words. Kind of like my own tatas thesaurus, if you will. And you’d be surprised how many different words there are for boobs. And you’d be surprised how many guys I know have their own versions, too. Chicks do, too! For example, the phrase “chesticles” was uttered to me one night by a group of hot lesbians. They came up to me and said, “You have a full set of chesticles.” Needless to say, I LOL’ed on the spot.
So, I thought I would share some of my favorites with you. And I would LOVE it if you shared some of your faves with me. A girl can never have too many words to describe her, umm, girls. lol So, without further ado:
Mams
Blouse Bunnies
Cans
Bazookas
Sweater Puppies
Cum Cushions
Yum Yums
Happy Headlights
Bingos!
Floppers
Whoppers
The Twins
Perks
Bazoombas
Penis Padders
Dairy Depot
Jigglies
I could go on and on, but I prefer to hear some of yours. Who knows, maybe you can tell me a few I’ve never heard before. (Which would be very impressive.)
Having super-sized her rack, Latina hottie Angelina Castro talks about her butt and then points out that tits are more important than butts in Part 3 of this video interview shot in the SCORE Studio. Angelina thinks people shouldn’t have to wear clothes. I think that if people were naked all the time, porn wouldn’t be nearly as exciting. Of course, Angelina is giving us the female point of view. I like to see a busty girl wear a tight top, like Angelina does here, then show us her tits. Much more exciting. Maybe not as exciting as watching Angelina deep-throating Juan Largo’s cock and getting fucked at SCOREVideos.com, but exciting nonetheless.
Anyway, to sum up what we have learned in this three-part interview:
1. Angelina’s tits are much bigger than they were before, and she is now officially a SCORE Girl.
2. Even though Angelina talks a mile a minute, most of us would still put up with that for the chance to fuck her. I mean, really, sometimes you gotta make sacrifices.
3. Latinas are incredibly hot and think about sex all the time.
4. Women can be very creative when they’re in need of a masturbatory tool.
In Part 2 of this very long, very impromptu Blog video, Angelina shows us what she’s wearing, warns women everywhere that she’s going to steal their men and talks about her life as a hostess on Spanish-speaking TV. This is something we have to see very soon. Meanwhile, we’ll content ourselves with this very hot hardcore video of Angelina and her new tits fucking and sucking at SCOREVideos.com. The star of Busty Slut Expo sucks cock deep and takes a big cock deep in her shaved pussy. Which just goes to show you that the more things change, the more they say the same.
In Chapter Five of Mamazon The Movie on SCORELAND, the hapless jungle raiders find themselves in deep poop. This poor boob is slated to be part of a Mamazon sex ritual that officially initiates Shyla Shy into the tribe. After swigging a mind-numbing brew cooked up by resident witch doctor Daylene Rio that turns him into a sex-zombie, the anal-loving Queen Alexis and Shyla help themselves to his cock. Meanwhile, James has bolted the village with Daylene in hot pursuit, a big spear in her hand. Some days it doesn’t pay to get out of bed…
Mamazons want action.
Daylene Rio: aqua-maid.
I’m happy to say that besides Mamazon, it’s also a Natalie Fiore weekend, with a SCORE pictorial today and her matching video, How To Stiffen Nipples, this Sunday. I hadn’t seen the video until the other day, just the photo set, and when I saw the finished video, I nearly fell out of my chair. (It’s a good thing it comes with a seat belt for moments like this.) Natalie looks ready to explode out of her bra when the video opens. Women always look bustier on video than in photos for technical reasons and the boob-shelf that this bra created still has me punchy. Natalie could serve breakfast on it. Of course, I was aching for her to remove it too. Natalie is great as usual in this video and I love how she chats. Sexy chit-chat adds a very important dimension to a solo video; vital, in my opinion. She’s one of the very best at eargasmic talents.
Dave has posted a great three-part BLOG this weekend about Angelina Castro so don’t miss all three days. Angelina’s new XXX video will be posting soon on SCORELAND.
