Listen, I know I shouldn’t be going to AOL.com for news, but sometimes I do, and this tagline caught my eye: “Plunging Necklines Dominate SAG Awards,” SAG being the Screen Actors Guild. “Great,” I thought. “Big celebrity tits,” and right off, I should have thought, “Stupid me,” because what celebrity has big tits? I mean really big tits, other than Christina Hendricks from Mad Men, and even she isn’t SCORE big (although she’s welcome to find out).
So I took the leap. I clicked on the link, and that led me to,
Plunging Necklines Dominate the 2011 SAG Awards Red Carpet
once again, and this opening paragraph: “Plunging necklines and daring cleavage dominated the red carpet at the 2011 Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards with Sofia Vergara, Christina Hendricks and Eva Longoris leading the pack.” At which point my eye wandered to six photos of six celebrities, all of whom supposedly were wearing dresses with “plunging necklines” that exposed “daring cleavage.”
Bullshit. All I saw were five not-so-stacked celebrities with plunging necklines that didn’t reveal much and one semi-stacked chick (Christina) who was wearing the least-daring dress of all.
Meanwhile at USMagazine.com,
Cleavage Wars at the SAGs!
Of course, more disappointment. The website asked, “Who won this year’s cleavage awards?” and thank goodness some woman named Susan Zemitas Richmond was smart enough to comment, “The only one with any cleavage is Sofia Vergara. The others are just showing skin.”
Exactly. If you’re a boob man, you had about as much chance at jacking successfully to the SAG Awards as any of these women have of getting into SCORE.
NOTE TO THE REST OF THE WORLD: JUST BECAUSE A WOMAN IS WEARING A LOW-CUT DRESS OR TOP DOESN’T MEAN SHE’S SHOWING CLEAVAGE. IF YOU DON’T HAVE CLEAVAGE, YOU DON’T HAVE ANY TO SHOW! THERE’S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SKIN AND CLEAVAGE.
So, just to set the record straight. Cleavage:
Renee Ross
SaRenna Lee
Tiffany Towers
If any of these girls came walking down the red carpet at any awards show, the international media would have a collective heart attack and realize what actual cleavage is all about. And they’d realize that this has nothing to do with cleavage:
Today’s Arianna Sinn post at SCORELAND once again reminded me how society in general neglects boob weighing. I don’t think I’m being ultra-critical here. Science is the true key to everything. Weights and measurement are vital in every aspect of our existence and that includes tits.
I have no doubts about the number of offers Arianna gets per day to weigh her melons. “I don’t need a scale,” brags one volunteer. “The palms of my hands are more accurate than a digital scale.” Yeah, right! Fact is, a scale is inaccurate when it comes to weighing boobs. The water displacement method that we’ve mentioned in the past is far more precise. Some designers are even working on new, more supportive bras based on breast weight instead of cup size, using the water method.
I’m all in favor of boob weighing being made a competitive sport. I just can’t get anyone to listen. Well, they ignored Thomas Edison too. Check out Arianna’s pictorial if you really want to light up your life.
Doctors say that men run the risk of injuring themselves when they take off a woman’s bra. A British medical journal published the case of a 27 year-old patient who suffered major ligament damage and a fracture to one of his fingers while unhooking a bra, twisting the finger when it got caught between the double straps of his friend’s bra. The man ended up with his finger in a splint for three weeks. A surgeon was quoted as saying: “It was a very nasty injury to the second knuckle down the finger. It was the type of thing that is more commonly associated with sport, particularly rock climbing.” Surveys show that 40% of men in their ‘30s and ‘40s have problems removing bras and spend an average of 27 seconds taking a bra off using both hands. The British Journal of Plastic Surgery claimed that right-handed men using their left hand took an average of 58 seconds. (One subject took an unbelievable 20 minutes. Clearly a spazz who should stay away from power tools.) Guys, I urge all of you to take extreme caution when unhooking a bra. God forbid it snaps back and hits you in an eye. Wearing protective goggles will not make you less manly. You know how Scrooge-like the insurance companies are these days. They’ll do whatever they can to weasel out of a claim.
We began photographing big-chested, little Czech hottie Iva in 2003, then 19 years-old and already doing the wildest sex, certainly wilder than her Busty Euro Maids playmates Veronika and Marketa, and much wilder than Ines Cudna. “Unbearably cute one minute, ridiculously hot the next,” emailed Lewis. “They are the right size, not too small, not too big,” Iva said about her perky pointers. “I am always keeping them in bras. I sometimes get bad and pull down my top to men at discos and swimming pools.”
Kristy Klenot. She can wear ya out easy.
There’s another cheery, high-energy Euro-babe who also fits the bill here, another Czech we met during the “Hungary For Hooters” week on SCORELAND. Kristy Klenot. Kristy also helped out as a translator when she wasn’t sticking her tits out at the camera or sexin’ the bone. Or starting trouble in the “Mean Girls” video. Kristy’s a feisty, horny, rambunctious multi-tasker!
Now as we enter 2011, another great New Discovery is set to make as big a splash as Iva did eight years ago. Lana Ivans is a Romanian and has much the same personality as Iva did. Feisty, spunky, fun-loving, energetic. The same mischieveous glint in the eyes. “I like to dance a lot, I like to flirt. I have fun flirting,” Lana says. “My boobs are all natural. They look much, much bigger because I am slim.”
Lana Ivans. Did you see this pictorial last week on SCORELAND?
Separated at birth? No, but they sure are short ‘n stacked kissin’ cousins. We have a New Years Eve special planned for Lana on SCORELAND. More about this later in the week!
Is there really a need for women to spend large sums of cash at Victoria’s Secret and other plush lingerie shops when the ultimate bra is available for free at their fingertips? I’m referring to the hand bra.
As you can see in these photos, the hand bra looks good and it probably feels good. Why should a woman blow 30, 40, 50 bucks on something no one’s going to see anyway? (Except some lucky guy.) The hand bra’s affordable and portable. Easy to clean. Won’t shrink or wear out. It can be worn in different ways for different looks. Want to change the style? Just put on different nail polish or wear gloves.
Karla tries a different style of hand bra.
"I don't know what I did before The Hand Bra," says Kelly.
The bra manufacturers will hate my guts for this Blog piece, but all I’m trying to do is make women look good and feel good and save them a few bucks. True, there are a few drawbacks. They’d have to get used to driving and opening doors with their elbows (typing will be a bitch), but these are minor issues.
Miosotis doesn't care that some dude just shot his load on Arianna's tits. She wants some tit and pussy for herself.
We’re well into Week 2 of “Clash of the Super-Naturals” at BustyArianna.com, and the special takes an unusual turn today, unusual in that Arianna Sinn isn’t the star of Part 3 (photos today, video tomorrow). In Part 3 of “Clash of the Super-Naturals,” Miosotis fucks while Arianna watches, although I guess you could say that Arianna doesn’t simply sit and watch. “Do you like her sucking your cock?” Arianna asks the stud as she reaches down to play with Mio’s KKK-cup naturals. “Yeah, baby,” Arianna says, turning her attention to Miosotis. “Make him cum so hard. Titty-fuck him. Put these enormous tits around his cock. Fuck him. Make it cum, girl.”
This is great stuff because we’ve rarely (if ever) heard Arianna speak like she does in this special. Clearly, Miosotis brought out the bad girl in Arianna. For example, in Part 2, “Lapping Lezzies,” Arianna enjoys her first pussy-licking from a woman and says stuff like, “Eat me” and “Do whatever you want with me, Miosotis. Finger me” and then, “Do me, baby.”
Do me, baby? Arianna said that?
When a woman is being as submissive as Alexa is here, you can do anything to her…as long as you keep eating her pussy.
Miosotis totally dominates Arianna, and Arianna spreads her legs very wide to have her pussy eaten. I never used to like watching a girl having her pussy eaten, either by a woman or a man, in porn videos, but now I like it. The girl becomes totally submissive with her legs spread and pussy out there for the licking, and it’s one of the few times during porn scenes that we get to see the girl’s pussy without a cock in it. For another example of a hot pussy-eating scene, check out German Alexa‘s video at SCORELAND.
But back to Arianna…we’ve never done a three-parter like this (I’m not even sure what you’d call it) in which the girls watching each other fuck sandwiches a lezzie scene. I’m not sure we’ll ever do it again since the circumstances were perfect for it to happen this time, and those circumstances might never come together again. Basically, it’s like a big-boob solar eclipse except you can’t hurt your eyes by looking at it (although my mother once told me that if I don’t stop it, I’ll go blind. She wasn’t referring to an eclipse).
By the way, Happy Birthday to mega-stacked German babe Annina, who would much rather suck cock and take it in her ass than have her pussy eaten. She told me so herself. And Happy Birthday to Kelly Christiansen, one of the hottest, best-looking new discoveries of 2010. This is a day to celebrate brickhouse blondes in all their glory.
Miosotis (top) and Arianna (below): a natural attraction.
I’m gonna let you in on a little secret: When we go on-location to places like the Dominican Republic, Spain, Eleuthera, etc., we rent big, gigantic properties with big, gigantic houses. We do this because we need a lot of spots in which to shoot photos and videos and also because, well, shooting nice pictures and videos requires a lot of room. Anyway, my point is that when we go on-location, lack of space is generally not an issue. And, yet, when we went to Eleuthera for Big-Boob Paradise, we stuck Angela White in the same bed with Lorna Morgan, and when we went to the Dominican Republic recently, we stuck Arianna Sinn in the same room with Miosotis. Why? Because we like to mix things together and hope good things happen.
This time, they did, and the results will be on display tomorrow, Thursday and all of next week at BustyArianna.com. We’re calling it “Arianna & Miosotis: Clash of the Super-Naturals,” and it’s a three-part special unlike anything we’ve ever done before.
In Part 1, tomorrow and Thursday, G-cup Arianna gets fucked by a stud while KKK-cup Miosotis watches. Only she doesn’t simply watch. She plays with herself, then plays with Arianna, sucking her tits and rubbing her pussy.
In Part 2, next Monday and Tuesday, Arianna has her first lezzie encounter ever (not just on video) with Miosotis.
In Part 3, next Wednesday and Thursday, Miosotis fucks while Arianna watches. But, again, Arianna doesn’t just watch.
“I like a lot of things about women,” Arianna told us as she anticipated the moment. “They are so special. They are soft, delicate sweet, sensual. I always dreamed to be with a woman, but this is my first time. I never had the guts to do it. But since I am a roommate with Miosotis, I got to know her better. I trust her. I like her a lot. I want her to dominate me. I want her to kiss me and lick my nipples and suck them and lick my clit. This is exciting. I can’t wait. I’m a lesbian virgin.”
I’ve seen the videos and they’re very hot. They’re unusual, but that’s part of what makes them hot. Some of my favorite moments:
1. A stud shooting his load all over Arianna’s rack, then Arianna and Miosotis deep-lezzie kissing while Arianna’s rack is still coated.
2. Miosotis lapping away at Arianna’s pussy likes it’s the best thing she’s ever eaten.
3. Miosotis stacking her tits on top of Arianna’s big ass while fingering Arianna’s pussy. Arianna moaning, “Yes, do me, baby.”
4. Arianna reaching down to rub Miosotis’s clit while Miosotis gets fucked from behind.
I have no idea what happened later that night when Arianna and Miosotis retired to their bedroom. But I have a good idea that they didn’t go to sleep.
German bra destroyer Beshine and her incredible XXX-cup rack is coming to SCORELAND very soon. In the meantime, here’s an important lesson for all of you: When you’re looking at a girl who’s built like Beshine (of course, only one girl in the world is built like Beshine), be a gentleman and stare at her chest. If you don’t, she just might slap your face…pervert.
Angelina prepares to do the safety dance on top of Juan Largo's pole.
It was the great 1980s band Men Without Hats that famously sang, “We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. Cause’ your friend don’t dance, and if they don’t dance, well they’re no friends of mine.”
I’m not quite as close-minded about the dancing issue as The Men were–I don’t think we should disregard people as friends material just because they don’t dance–but I have to admit, the sight of Angelina Castro dancing in the video below definitely gives me the urge to make her a friend of mine.
Of course, dancing means different things to different people. There’s dancing in a club. Slow dancing. Salsa dancing. Cha-cha. There’s break dancing. There’s Dancing With The Stars dancing. There’s pole dancing. And then there’s dancing on a flesh-and-blood fuck pole, as Angelina demonstrates in a new pictorial from the January ’11 SCORE that went up yesterday at SCORELAND.
So, as you prepare to whip it out for Angelina, I’ll remind you of something else Men Without Hats said: “As long as we abuse it, Never gonna lose it. Everything will work out right.”
Cathy Patrick has to use all her strength to keep from toppling forward.
Which model has the best hangers ever? I thought about that question the other day when the new set of Carol Brown went up on SCORELAND. Thinking back to the 1990s, I remember Carol as having a great pair of hangers and also being an outstanding self-sucker. But then I looked her photos and realized that she isn’t really a self-sucker (she’s more of a self-licker) and although her boobs are great, they’re not what we’d call hangers.
Autumn-Jade shows us how she keeps her hangers in shape.
Funny how our memories sometimes play tricks on us.
Chloe Vevrier. Great pair of hangers, right? Well, kind of. Great pair of tits, no doubt, but, like Carol’s, Chloe’s tits are too full and heavy to be called hangers. In my opinion, a great pair of hangers is full but they has a certainly pliability, almost as if the bottom part of the boob (the part closest to the nipple) is pulling the top part down when the girl bends over, like giant sacks of flour, like all of her boob meat has gone to the lowest-hanging part of her boobs. Girls like Chloe and Carol are so full throughout that you don’t get that pull-down effect.
So, which girls have the best hangers ever? I’ve shown pictures of three candidates, although they’re far from being the only candidates. For my money, Nicole is No. 1. What do you think?
